Beltane New Moon New Visions

Here's something you haven't seen in a while - a new post on this blog. I don't have time to play catch up; long story short, life's pretty good and I'm still here. So. Let's get on with it, shall we?

Lying awake under that new moon eclipse last night, I got to thinking. (~moi~? I know, right?) So many of us have moved to counter.social this past week, clearly seeking something we weren't, or were no longer, getting from Twitter. We're looking for answers; we're looking for hope, we're looking for a future that is manifestly better than the stupidest timeline we seem to be stuck in.

The w00 crowd - of which I am at least partially one - may find it Significant that this is happening just as we experience a New Moon Solar Eclipse (it happened the afternoon of Apr 30th) in Taurus. All about those new beginnings, but the beginning of long-term change. And even if you don't put much or any stock in such things, you'd probably agree we are more than ready for some positive changes to manifest.

On the political front, we've been looking in vain to our elected leaders. Yes, the Biden presidency inherited a huge mess and is having to handle problems it neither created nor controls (inflation, supply chain etc). And yes, our margin is too slim, whittled too far by several who seemed only too happy to sell progress out for their own craven ends. This has left many of us feeling frustrated and helpless. We see critical issues on every side that require action NOW - but we're met with lackluster responses that don't really feel like they address these concerns.

What seems clear to me is that we can no longer look to our leaders to save us. We can't sit back waiting for someone to step in front who we can follow to a brighter future. For whatever reason, they are either unwilling or unable to provide the kind of leadership the moment seems to require. So where does that leave us?

To my mind, this means our options have narrowed. If no one is going to ride to our rescue - which is really an old-fashioned, paternalistic concept when you think about it - we are going to have to rescue ourselves. If we want a better, fairer, more equitable and sustainable society, we're the ones who have to manifest it.

And to borrow a phrase, I suspect that if we build it, they will come. Too many of our political 'leaders' live in fear of being perceived as too far left, when most of the country supports the policies they don't have the courage to enact (because the other side might say Mean Things about them, and then they might lose some votes, boo hoo!) But if they feel the pressure all of us could bring to bear, they might be more willing to take the sort of bold steps we so desperately need.*

So here is the challenge I'm putting forward: Let's play Pretend. First, let's pretend we *already* live in the world we wish for. What would it look like? How would it function? What would be different from where we are now? Once you have this vision, write it down. Compose a toot, write a blog post, put it in your journal - maybe it's only a few sentences, maybe it will turn into a book. The length doesn't matter, but bringing it out of the back of your mind and out where it can be shared, does.

Now that you have this idea, pull out a couple basic descriptions and post them over on counter.social (I guess Twitter too, but it'll be harder to sustain, there). #thefutureliberalswant is kind of a clunky hashtag, so I'm definitely open to a better one! But let's get something where we can easily share our vision with each other (#visionforthefuture ? I guess that's just as long) - and then share it.

While those ideas are starting to circulate around, the next step is to figure out what would have to change for this vision to become real. Yes, I get that 'Republicans need to go away' might solve our problems, but we don't really have the power to make that happen. Instead, let's look for the kinds of changes that can be made.

Let's say, affordable/accessible child care is part of your vision. What are some ways we can make that happen - can we form babysitting co-ops? Who might be able to provide this service, where could it happen, what would be exchanged for it? DON'T let money or lack of limit your vision. If you can't see a way past 'if we only had money, we could...', think about why you don't have that money, how it could be gotten - and most importantly, what can be done in the meantime.

And just like with the future visions, let's get on here and start exchanging those ideas. Because what you see as a roadblock may be a problem someone else knows just how to solve. Instead of waiting for the government to provide these things for us, let's pretend we live in a world where they don't exist. How would we make them happen? How can we start working on them NOW?

I'd like to see people sharing their #goodideas. What's something you and your group of friends are already doing, or something that you could start doing pretty easily? Tell us about it! And if you see an idea that inspires you, take it home and try it out - they're free, after all!

One of the coolest things about the CoSo Firehose is that you can jump in and jump back out - everyone's voice carries equal weight. If you see a #goodidea or a #futurevision go by, maybe see what they have to say. Start a list, follow that tag. And let's start building that better society we want and deserve to have. I look forward to seeing what we can build - together!

*definitely NOT looking to pile on President Biden, here. He's actually done much better than I expected him to - but I was looking for a president like him twenty-some years ago. I wish we were further along by now.

Hey. How you doing - you doing ok? Yeah, it's been a rough week, I know. Me too. Some seriously bad juju going round right now, I hear ya. You know what, though, just cause we got knocked down don't mean we can't get back up again. You know? We got suckerpunched, no doubt, and right in the gut, too. Your stomach upset? Having digestion problems? Nausea, maybe just don't feel like eating? That's why. It's that solar plexus chakra, Manipura, that's where we've all, a lot of us, been feeling it.

If you're not up on your chakras - and I admit I had to go for a refresher, here - this is the third one, the point where inward and outward flowing energies meet, where they are processed and transformed by the fire of your chi. And when things are off and you get destabilized, it can manifest here; because you're not fully processing. Whether it's food, thoughts, or emotions, or maybe some combination where one of those manifests as one of the others. Right? This is the seat of your internal fire, and some of the Hindu deities associated with it - Rudra, Vahni - are not only fire gods but have the power of dispelling fear. And there's been a whole lot of that going around this past week, hasn't there? A *whole* lot. Not without reason, but fear, man.. fear will mess you the eff up.

But here's the thing, and if you've read Starhawk you probably know this already: where there is fear, there is power. We're being fear-bombed right now, in great big waves (and I would not be surprised if there was actual psy-ops going on to accomplish this - not saying there is, just I wouldn't be surprised). And I don't at all mean to say that the bad things we see out ahead, that they don't have the potential to become very, very, real. They do, absolutely. And yet.

All these things that we fear, all the ways we can foresee our democracy being destroyed, all the hate crimes, all the progress we've made that stands to be repealed, all the things we stand to lose - we stand to lose them because of fear. Not *our* fear, this time - theirs (whoever 'they' are). Well, we've got some names and faces to identify as 'they'; I don't need to list them here. What's important for you to know is, 'they' are absolutely terrified - of us. Of what we represent. Of the free and open future we have been, and will continue to be, fighting for.

What we're seeing right now is their fear played out on the public stage. What do they fear? Oh that's easy; they fear loss of power. They fear a world where some - them - *aren't* more equal than others. They fear losing their privilege, their special snowflake-ness that defines them as The Norm. They fear it because they assume if they no longer occupy that special, privileged position, they will suffer every bit as much of the suffering they have and will continue to inflict on everyone who isn't 'them'. (I'm resisting the urge to identify 'them' as cishet white males though undoubtedly most of them are; I understand intellectually that #notallmen are like this, even as my angered, wounded heart rages at the ones who aren't because they also haven't stopped those that are. But that's an argument for another time).

This is the really important part though: they are coming down so hard because that is how terrified they are that we are actually winning. If we weren't having an actual, tangible impact, they could shrug us off. A few memes, a few nasty tweets and jibes on reddit and that's it, the dominant paradigm would be re-established, back to those glory days that we're pretty sure existed even if we didn't really experience them!

But that's not what happened, or what's happening. Instead, we ('we') keep making gains. Women don't just have the right to vote, they nearly ran off with the top boss job in all the land. Gays can marry. Marijuana, that reliable scourge that ruined so many lives (or the laws against it did, but never mind all that) is not only no longer the bugaboo it once was; it's actually finally becoming legal - all over the country. The drug war, that big 'accomplishment' of the Reagan/Bush years, has at last been revealed as a collosal failure.

And people of color aren't just sitting home smoking blunts and watching gangster rap videos; they're using the internet as their *own* tool, exposing the racism and brutality we were all supposed to believe got swept under the rug fifty years ago. The tools of control that have been employed for the past however many decades are failing. We aren't just being pacified by must-see TV, the Christmas shopping season, sports championships and celebrity scandal. People have big screen TVs, but no jobs. People have big box stores endlessly jammed with new versions of the same electronic devices that fill their homes, but no money to buy them - or no fulfillment if they do. Overdose deaths happen more and more in safe white enclaves, not just ignorable city slums.

The tools aren't working. But the machine, the corporate death mechanism, the dominant paradigm, is insane; it keeps doubling down. More control! More jail! Fewer privileges! Make them obey!! And now their fear has pushed them to the point where they're willing to employ sheer naked aggression - a bloodless coup. Blatantly ignore the will of the people (who would *not* simply accept the narrative of corruption that was peddled, damn them!) and enforce the election of a wildly unpopular candidate - all of this, rather than concede that the future that's ahead of us is not their fever dream of a semi-mythical past.

But in a sense, and I know this is really hard to feel right now, that's the good news. Good, because it means we actually ARE a threat. Look how hard they're having to fight us! Would they be bringing out the big guns if we weren't actually having an impact? An impact that scares them? I don't think so. And that knowledge is power, if we're willing to embrace it.

This is an opinion piece, so I'm not googling for hard facts just now, but consider this: nearly half the country did not vote in this election. Let that sink in - did. not. even. bother. to. show. up. To borrow the words of Rush (the band, not the bloviator), "if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice". Add that 46% or whatever it was to the 25ish-plus% that voted for HRC, and that's something like three-quarters of eligible voters who DID NOT CHOOSE this fascist sock puppet to lead us. Why so many abdicated their responsibility as voters, well, that too is another discussion for another time.

The point is, the whole country hasn't gone mad. One small section - many of whom were conned and lied to - managed to seize power in a blatant attempt to *force* progress to come to a screeching halt. When I say conned, I mean it: already, various bedrock campaign promises are being pedalled back, while others (bring back jobs) were never worth the hot air that inflated them. Jobs aren't coming back - we're almost caught up to the Jetsons, where nobody has to work because robots will do it all; only we're still stuck on the model where you have to work to make money to survive (oh, so many other discussions to be had, here!) People who voted for the mango mussolini with the hope he'd usher them back to a place at the middle-class table are in for some serious disappointment, and that's not likely to play out without some casualties. Unfortunately.

But let me say this one last time: where there is fear, there is power - and people have the power. We hold these truths to be self-evident, although they can often be forgotten when the promise of shiny new toys is dangled from one hand while the other points to That Other Guy as standing in your way of getting them. Don't believe the hype - don't fall for the con. We have the power, the power of progress, on our side. All men and women ARE created equal, and are equally deserving of the freedom to pursue life, liberty, and happiness. Even if they wear different clothes, pray to different gods, eat different foods, and have differently colored skins.

And that fear you've been feeling? Not saying it isn't grounded in reality, because those big guns I just mentioned include very actively tearing down every progressive gain that's happened pretty much my whole life; and I'm so old, Eisenhower was still President when I was born. But that fear is also a weapon that's being employed against you. When you are afraid, when you are depressed and frightened, and curled up with your kitty or your pup or your honey and praying the goons don't knock on *your* door, you're not fighting back. And trust me, the other side wants - needs - you not to fight back. They have one tactic: Hulk smash! You bad scary person, with your brown skin or lack of a penis, or same-sex lover, or funny last name, Hulk smash you! Because Hulk is SCARED of you.

But when you can uncurl yourself, when you can stand up straight, when you can step outside your door and see that there are far more of us than there are of them, you have found the power inside of your fear. I have been turning, these past few days, to the Litany Against Fear from Dune: Fear is the mind-killer.. fear will pass through me and I will turn to see where it has gone. You can look that one up if you don't know it; it's a good one.

And once your fear has passed through you, you may find that you have The Voice. OK, maybe not full-on Bene Gesserit (though if you do, drop me a line backchannel?). But the ability to speak truth to power. To go out in the streets, to march with the hundreds and thousands of others who are marching, marching for the thousands and hundreds of thousands more who aren't quite there yet but are still in your corner. Where there is fear, there is power - and we, the people, still have that power in our hands. Don't let yourself be intimidated into giving it up. They got the guns, but - we got the numbers. And if you're ready, it will carry us through.

Friday Night Pizza

2 pkgs buttermilk biscuit mix
1 c baking mix
1 c rolled oats
2 c water
Flour as needed
1 15oz can spaghetti sauce
1 4 oz can tomato sauce
1 3.5 oz can tomato paste
To taste: basil, parsley, fennel powder (<- secret ingredient!)
2-1/2 pkgs imitation mozzarella cheese
Toppings: turkey sausage, sliced mushrooms, black olives, pineapple chunks, broccoli florets

Mix dry ingredients for crust in bowl, minus flour. Stir in water until dough forms a sticky ball. Break off a chunk to fit your pan - for the cookie sheet pictured, I used a piece somewhat larger than a grapefruit; maybe like an acorn squash?

Spray pans with cooking spray or grease lightly. Place dough in center of pan and sprinkle with flour. Roll to fit, allowing excess to form rim at edges. Bake at 450F for five minutes, then remove from oven. If crust has bubbled up, prick it with the tip of a knife to release trapped air.

Meanwhile, stir spaghetti sauce, tomato sauce & paste together with seasonings in a saucepan. You can use just tomato sauce and paste - 2 cans of each, maybe 3 paste; I went with what I had on hand.

After crust has cooled slightly, ladle sauce on top, then spread evenly using a spatula. Distribute toppings evenly, then cover with grated cheese (I use the imitation because it doesn't affect my dairy allergy; feel free to clump on the real thing!)

Bake at 375F for 10-15 minutes or until cheese is happily melted. This made two cookiesheet pizzas plus one 12" round. Small dogs are very helpful in removing leftover sauce from the pan.

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Cleveland is My Paris too.

This banner is down now. But late last fall, I would pass it in the evening on my way home from work, and it always made me smile. Unfortunately, clevelandismyparis.com only has a placeholder page right now; but apparently there are t-shirts at least. And he is on Facebook.

Cauliflower with Blackbeans & Rotini

3 med carrots, cut into half-moons.
1/2 large head cauliflower, cut into florets
12 oz whole wheat rotini pasta
1 15oz can black beans, well rinsed
1 T margarine + 1 T canola oil
1 sm onion, diced
1 pkg chicken gravy mix + 1 pkg cheese sauce mix
1/2 shredded cheddar cheese



Bring a large pot of water to a boil. When it has begun to bubble, add the carrots and cauliflower. Let cook a minute or so then add pasta. Cook all three until pasta is tender. Drain, reserving liquid for later use*.


Melt margarine in pot you cooked pasta & veggies in; add oil. Dice onion and add; cook until just translucent. Meanwhile, dissolve gravy mix in cold water as per pkg directions. Once its whisked smooth, pour into pot with onion. Whisk in cheese sauce mix and grated cheddar. Whisk or stir while heating to remove any lumps.

Drain black beans thoroughly. Add liquid to previously saved cooking water*. Rinse beans well, or the whole thing will turn a muddy grey-brown (still tasty, just not visually appealing). I rinsed my beans in a smaller sieve then added to the pasta-veggie mix in colander and rinsed all together.



Add pasta/veggie/bean mix to sauce. Stir thoroughly to coat, then warm through on medium-low heat. Serve!

---

*I drained cooking water and bean juice together in a tub and froze it: next time I want to make soup, I'll have a hearty seasoned stock ready to go.

The cheese sauce came from a box of mac'n'cheese; the gravy mix was generic because I was feeling lazy. This meal could easily become vegan by making a roux out of 1/4 c. whole wheat flour & an equal amount of nutritional ('flake') yeast. Use leftover cooking liquid to thin the roux into gravy.

I also used Ched-O-Mate imitation cheese - because its cheap, readily available, and doesn't ever bother my dairy allergy (not lactose intolerance - dairy gives me asthma attacks). Vegetarians can use real shredded cheese; vegans can use a soy cheese or skip it altogether, as flake yeast makes a passable cheesey sauce.

Stuffed Peppers

Wow, a random thought turned out pretty yummy!
Here's what I used:

     - 1-2 t olive oil
     - 1/2 red onion, minced
     - 1/4 c garlic (yep, I like garlic. Adjust to taste)
     - 3 turkey sausage links, sliced into rounds & crumbled
     - 1 sm can mushrooms
     - 3/4 c couscous
     - 3 lg bell peppers
     - 1 12oz jar spaghetti sauce w mushrooms
     - 1/2 c shredded mozzarella (approx)

Sautee onion & garlic in oil. Stir in sausage and cook til no longer pink. Drain mushrooms, reserving liquid, and add to skillet. Stir in couscous, along with mushroom liquid and water to make 1-1/2 c. Season to taste w onion salt, garlic powder, & basil. Cover.

Meanwhile, heat sauce in electric skillet or pour into baking dish. Slice tops of washed peppers, remove core & seeds, then slice in half lengthwise. Remove ribs, if any.

Fill each pepper half with couscous mix then place open side up on top of sauce. Sprinkle mozzarella on top of each pepper. Cover and steam through or bake at 325F until peppers are just tender.

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Bloodshot book review

Oh look, GoodReads just helpfully formatted my most recent review into a format just for copying and pasting into my blog. Seeing as how i'm a DAMN LAZY BLOGGER, who am i to turn down such quick and easy content? (should you care to read it ensuite, as it were, i am sade wolfkitten over there too..)

Bloodshot by Cherie Priest

My rating: 3 of 5 stars


Priest's vampire books (somehow i read the second before this, the first) are like a big tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream: tasty, fun to polish off, not exactly *bad* for you but not your daily staff of life either. Not quite as engaging as the Eden Moore series, but less annoyingly twee than the steampunk stuff - which, i hasten to add, is entirely my own opinion. My taste for alternate histories seems not to extend into the past - call it a bias of linear time.



This is not one of those, very definitely contemporary, but a vampire/master thief main character might be just a wee bit too much of a Mary Sue for my tastes. Your mileage, as always, may vary significantly. And do note that however this may sound, i've read almost all of her books, and will continue to pick them up as i run across them.



View all my reviews

Fish in a Tree? How Can That Be??

Oh look, i have a blog. Y i has u, blog? Blogging seems so five years ago. i've said before i'm too busy doing things to stop and write about them. When i'm not doing things, i am resting - sleeping, probably, and/or getting ready to do something else.

For a while i experimented with micro-blogging. i still like the concept. i do tweet a lot; i send out little random thoughts throughout the day. When i'm at the day job, this helps the time go by while i'm scrubbing cages and chattering mindlessly to the birds.

i tried collecting and re-posting them to LiveJournal for a time but it annoyed *me*; i can just imagine how my LJ friends felt about it. Incidentally, this seems to have coincided with dropping off of LJ, something i've not been able to get back to even tho i enjoyed the format. LiveJournal was my very personal internet home for years. Not now. Twitter is probably the closest thing to an online 'home' i have these days, but my profile page isn't considered a true blog.

The truth is, i don't see much need for a blog in my life. Yes i know, social media blah blah marketing blah personal branding blah blah quack. Maybe i could be Actualizing(tm) and Monetizing(tm) myself more Effectively(tm) if only i sat my *ss down and wrote something every few days! Yes, my decided lack of glowing financial success can surely be traced to this one bad habit.

WHATEVER.

A week or so ago, i finally figured out why i'm not writing anymore. Hold on to your hats, cause this one's a shocker: i'm happy. i think its been so long since i could really say this (probably not this century, sadly) that i'd forgotten the obvious: i only journal when things suck. i figured this out a long time ago, back when 'journals' still meant physical, paper notebooks, filled with reams of absolutely miniscule handwriting. (Oh yes. Any future biographer who wants to plumb the depths of my personal history will need a magnifying glass: most of my journals have four lines of tiny print squeezed on to every line of notebook paper. Have at *that*, psych geeks).

There are gaps in my personal history. Times when i didn't curl up in a corner somewhere, seeking escape through an mmm-okay maybe slightly manic noting down of what i was thinking/feeling/experiencing at the time. Unfortunately, this means all my best times have evaporated into thin air; 'memory' is something you put in computers, not something in my head. If i didn't write it down, it might as well not have happened.

This means my future self will look back at now and think, i wonder what i was doing that made me so content with my lot? i don't know if i can answer that directly. i can't say, Well, This. This is the thing, or things, that make life Good now. Well, except for this little guy:

i did mention him here - holy crap, have i really not blogged YET THIS YEAR?! Anyway, his name is Marvin. He is, best as i can tell, a chihuahua-schipperke mix. Schipperkes are Belgian boat dogs and look like black Pomeranians, if you've never heard of them. He is the best thing to happen to me in a *lo-o-ong* time. My last dog was also technically Rasputin's dog, and he's been gone over eight years. i was thinking about maybe getting a dog again when this fellow managed to get lost/abandoned near the theater and wound up with me. Now i wonder why i waited so long - except that i was waiting for him, i suppose.

Besides the pupster, i've finally - *finally* - gotten to a point where i like being home again. i'm pretty sure there was a point back when i lived in Collinhood that this was true, but i can't remember when. Mid90s, at a guess. So yeah, this has been a long time coming, and its nice to have it back. i don't go out much anymore (and yes, there could be a story there too, but its not one i care to tell here). i do sometimes miss the Tremont scene that i was part of five years ago, but its not like its there and i left. It was An Era, its over, time to move on.

i've also got an acceptable balance going between jobs, theater, and personal projects. My day job is in a sort of warehouse of birds for a major pet-supply chain, and my boss there is *fabulous* - a theater friend who would make a great gay husband. He trusts my judgement and lets me pretty much supervise myself. This is so heavenly that it strongly outweighs the absolutely crummy pay. i have another part-time evening job working as a sort of 'test patient' for medical students to try out their exam skills on. Boss there is great too, as is the pay; the hours, well, not so much, but it balances things out.

i am a bit less involved with the theater than in years past, meaning i don't stage-manage anymore than one play a year. This way, once my work as a designer is done, i have nights to myself. Now, i am balanced lightly on the cusp of having just about enough time and money both, so that i can work on my own projects now and again.

Most recently, i've been making these Faerie Empress crowns: Just sold my first one on Etsy too, w00t! They are a lot of fun to make, and allow me to make use of my hoardcollection of leftover jewelry bits and sparkly things.

Along with working on projects, i've been continuing on with organizing - well, pretty much everything. i used to have things stashed all over the place, because i could never remember where i'd put things before. Now that i'm not managing a household, raising kids, and dealing with relationships, i've been able to start sorting and consolidating. Amazingly, this means i am now able to FIND an item when i need it =:o i'm even learning to clean up when i'm done, a skill its only taken me *mumble*fifty-odd*mumble* years to acquire.

So yes, add all these things up and you have (*gasp*) a Fairly Contented Wolfkitten. Fairly? That's unfair. Quite. But geez-a-pete, look how long i've been sitting here. i've got things to do! See ya round - sometime.

2011 Wrap-up

Dear diary:

i know, i know. Believe me. And really, its not you - its me. i do think about you. A lot. Pretty often anyway. But our lives are just so different right now. i promise i'll work on it, okay? i haven't forgotten you, honest. i've just been so busy. You know how it is.

Yeah, its like that. i look at the huge-ass blog entries Amanda Palmer posts, a lot more often than i have time to read them, and wonder, how the *eff* does she manage?! Then i remember - she has Assistants, and does not need to do her own grocery shopping nor scrub the floors. But still.. i wonder how *my* life got so busy. i know i was lazy when i was young, but srsly. i wonder that i ever had hours to sit in coffeehouses doing - what did i do in coffeehouses before teh internetz? i remember when i always had a workbag by my side, stitching little whatevers. But before that, how did i ever fill the hours i spent at Arabica? No clue.

There's no real possibility i can catch things up here since my last entry, so i won't even try. i can tell you that today (the day i wrote this, already over a week ago) i slept late, walked the pupster (o hai blog, i gots a puppyboy), drank coffee, went to brunch w/Younger Daughter, did dishes, swept some floors (not all), cleaned the worst of the week's accumulated puppy mess, brought vending tubs in from the car, scrubbed the hallway rug, and straightened the Closet of Holding. Tonight i am going out to my regular weekly haunt, meeting my brother who is in from L.A., then maybe meeting grrlfriends at the punk bar. i think that's all.

Odds are i won't write anything here again until next year. i will be posting on my other blog in a bit; that seems the better place to talk about Solstice. Once again, i'll try to keep up with this better in the new year but - well, i'll try. i will be going to fulltime in the bird room within the next couple months: more work means more pay, which is good; but it will also mean even less time for things that Aren't Work. Hence teh promises, they shall not be made.

i hope this holiday season finds you well, content and surrounded by people you love and who love you. If you're reading this, count me among the latter. Merryhappy ChanaSolKwanzaMas, and i'll see you in *gasp* 2012.

Gamification: Who's Playing You?

i've been reading an article from the July issue of Wired on feedback loops, and at the end it brings up the concept of 'gamification' - that we are more likely to respond or react to something if we perceive it as a game. Therefore, people will happily report on their whereabouts to anyone who cares to check (including the NSA, presumably) if it means they can earn points, badges, and mayorships. Likewise, we'll be glad to furnish market researchers the data they crave on what we watch, read, listen to and even think about, for exactly the same nebulous 'rewards'.

Interesting stuff, if a little creepy in its implication. But what stood out right away for me is that - these rewards don't work on me. i do check in occaisionally on foursquare, but only to give a boost to a business i support. i don't read recommendations or 'follow' my friends activity - seriously, unless i was trying to track down someone, i can't imagine wasting time that way. i've also never had any interest in any of the online games offered thru social networks.

Because ultimately, i just don't give a shit about badges or points. And this got me thinking about my attitude towards games in the 'real' world. i won't say i don't like games or playing - but i only like certain *kinds* of games. Games with a strategy, that require puzzle/problem solving; yup, i dig those. But simple competition, accumulating points - *yawn*. Want to put me to sleep? Try to teach me a card game (as a good friend found to his consternation). If you really want to turn me off, put in a competitive edge, winners and losers. Play for money and i'll elect to watch paint dry instead.

All this makes me a 'bad customer' for games or apps that use simple game strategy as encouragement. And *that* makes me wonder what i'd be a good customer for - and who is already finding ways of modding my behaviour to suit their marketing demands. Will i know it when i see it? Or will i find myself blindly playing along because its 'fun'? Just some things to think of on a rainy Sunday night..

Wassail and Hail the Autumn Moon

OK, you know how crazy my life usually is, right? Well i swear the past couple weeks have been twice as busy as *that*. Maybe three times. Younger daughter moved up from Kent, elder daughter & beau moved out of their Tremont apt, into my living room, then out of my living rm and into small house, and my parents moved out of small house of - 15? - yrs occupancy into 1 bdrm apt. All in August.

Then, i performed as a statue for the Tremont Arts & Cultural Fair 2 days in a row, ran merch for Morticia's Chair as a pirate wench immediately after the second day's gig ended.. had one of those sewing side jobs i get every so often.. attended my monthly mantra meditation group.. landed a job costuming NINE GAY MEN (well, one at least is straight but playing gay) for a show opening Oct 7th.. got backed into in a parking lot and filed an insurance claim for the first time in my life.. remembered too late why i don't go to Oktoberfest.. took a Zumba class but have been too busy to get back for another.. wrote and led an equinox meditation for a small group of friends.. met an actress friend for coffee, went to a few birthday parties, attended a cookout (at the home of Michael Symon's personal assistant - sounds swank but we was punkrok bitchez together way back when) as well as a couple dinner parties, one w just me & my girls.. went on a promo pub crawl to try & book the Chair some shows.. AND I'M PRETTY SURE I'M FORGETTING SOME THINGS. That's how i've been.

Here. Have a picture of the planters i'm making in the evenings.

Maybe i'll be around here a little more this fall; right now, just for today, i have a wi-fi connection right from my apartment so am not dependent on the hours of a coffeehouse (not that i don't love me some coffeehouses). Then again, i don't really see the pace letting up any anytime soon; i'm spending this sudden bonus of internet time catching up on a million things i've been meaning to get around to but could never remember to do when i'm out somewhere. Taking the time to sit and do nothng but write blog posts seems wasteful, somehow, which is why you haven't seen one in a while.

To that end, may i recommend you look me up on Tumblr? Praise them, they support SMS udates; so brief thoughts, cellphonecam snaps, and interesting articles other peole have written are winding up there these days. Some more personal interaction is happening on Google+, and virtually all my random thoughts get tweeted when the mood strikes. Where i'm *not* spending much time anymore is Facebook - new changes there always seem to be for the worse, but its getting so intrusive and clunky as to be unusable. Tumblr will reblog there, so i'll be maintaining some presence for the time being; but i'm no longer actively following much of anyone. But if you really want to talk to me, those are the places i can be found.

Summer slowing

Dear diary:

i know, i know. Every time i say i've had a quiet couple of weeks, it turns out to be anything but, right? This at least *feels* like i've not had so much going on, maybe because in the first half of this summer, i had TOO much happening all at once. On the other hand, i'm not sure just now if i even posted an entry two weeks ago. Which, if true, would indicate things haven't slacked up much at all.

Well, assuming i *did* write about Starwood (i can't find a saved draft, but i kinda think i did)[ah and oh - its on my magickal blog] then all i've done since is attend my very first burlesque event ever - which will hopefully not be my last! - where i performed as a glasswalker for the first and probably only time this year (strike that; i'm working a circus-theme gallery show in October).. performed as a living statue at the Taste of Tremont festival.. saw one of my favorite hardcore bands from 'back in the day'.. tentatively booked myself to DJ a local gallery's benefit, and even more tentatively to offer a workshop/lecture there early next year.. spent a panicky few hours watching reports out of Norway, where someone very close to me Just Happened to be on vacation.. finally got around to checking out the cyber cafe that opened nearby, which is likely where this will post from.. never did make it back to see an actual run of Miracle at Naples, which i did sound design for and got *great* reviews.. got my jam on at a local rock club one evening, hanging out w the owner/pal from back in the same day.. See? Nothing much at all.

Knowing my life, this is what you call the lull before the storm. Or perhaps the storm is now, and that's why this is languishing half-written on a jump drive; August has begun with a crash and a boom and a bash - well, ok, technically the bash isn't til tomorrow ;-) The crash and boom parts are personal, but suffice to say its being one of Those pivotal weekends where everything is going to be different afterwards. MANY things. So much so in fact that i think i'm going to cut my losses and go with this, as lame an entry as it is; if i don't, it'll be half-past the full moon before i get back to it and i'd like to keep something up more regularly here.

So thank you all, you few who tune in; i'll be back around once i find where i've landed in the universe next door. Ta for now, lovies.

Moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a

Hola, dearies. i am so way overdue for an update here that i don't even recall when i last wrote. i could cheat and look, but where's the fun in that? Anyway, i strongly suspect i haven't updated since the Fairie Festival, because it has been That Kind of Month. And a half.

Its been the kind of month (and a half) where i've been really, incredibly busy with Fun Stuff; and then because i've gone and booked up nearly every free moment, i've had a bunch of Not Fun Stuff insist on cropping up too. But let's do the fun first. As i mentioned, i was the the Fairie Festival at the beginning of May, for my twelfth year in a row. This is one of the Most Fun Things Evar, in my book. This was my first year performing as a statue (or - ? i moved around some, there) as opposed to gypsy magician-dancer-person which i used to do with Not Ex-Enough Husband. Statuing there worked Differently than it does on the street; but i expect to do it again next year now that i know that. i was barely home and unpacked from there before i turned around and went off to be a statue at the Hessler Road Street Fair which has been going on for decades and was always my traditional kick-off to summer when i was a Coventry street kid with glitter on her face - a long, *long* time ago.

After that, we did Pop-Up Pearl as the Cultural Freethinkers Social Hall. For which we had some Grand Freakin Plans, you bet; however, various factors got in the way of Grand Freakin Plans so instead we made paper-plate masks for the kiddies. Somewhere along about then i started work on costuming the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival, who are doing Othello and Love's Labor's Lost this summer, neither of which i am particularly familiar with. Then i was a statue again for the Gordon Square Arts District Day, which is where i live, yay! so that i was able to get dressed and glittered for the gig and then WALK there pulling my milk crate and ugly green crushed velvet bedspread and tip mushroom behind me on my trusty wagon.

Did i say tip mushroom? Why yes i did. i've been being an elven/faerie sort of statue lately, so i decded a mushroom was a better thing to hold my tip bucket than the column i made for when i'm all white and be-toga-ed. This mushrump is a little battered after all the rain it had to sit in at Spoutwood but i think some red duct tape will soon have it right as - er yeah, well then. Anyway this is the final shroom: And here's a picture of me (in my necktie jacket) with the shroom en situ at the Fairie Festival: .

But, sadly, then there have also been Not Fun Things. Like getting popped with expired plates or for making an illegal left turn (in a rush to check *one more thrift store* in search of elusive costume pieces; i was in such a rush i didn't even notice the No Left Turn sign), or having Not Ex Enough drop a multi-page scrawl in my tip bucket at Hessler. Or having a Falling Out with a formerly-best friend who can't seem to understand that i has a crazy life and if sie wants to see me, that needs to be accomodated and respected.. it hasn't been, so now i guess we're Not Friends Anymore.

But the most Not Fun of all has been visiting my elder daughter, the Lady Eclipse, in the hospital. For nearly TWO WEEKS NOW and we still don't know why, really. Tho it is probably MS. Whatever it is, it has laid her *low*; she's too weak to do much of anything, including stand up or write her name, and while the steroids have restored some ability to speak, her speech is still very, noticably, slowed. This is all kinds of scary and freaky to a point where i won't likely be saying much more about it here, but i expect this is going to be A Factor in our lives for quite some time to come.

Anyway, several of the Fun Things listed above deserve their very own paragraph or three or six. But its a quarter til two in the morning and there are birdies who expect me to come feed and water them and clean out their cages in a handful of hours so i am not going to write those paragraphs now. Which maybe means i won't write them ever and if so, that's the way life is speeding up. But i will try to get them written at some point Soon. Just be glad i managed to get this much done, cuz i am, okay? Okay. Next time, dovelies.

High Holy Daze of April

Hello dear readers. There was a big fat moon riding high in the sky when i wrote this, so that must mean its time for another update in my never-ending quest to avoid boredom. And how have i been managing to keep it at bay since last we spoke? Well. Let me see.

Over the past couple of weeks, i have: attended the 'Cleveland Confidential' speaking tour at the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame; lined up an accomplice a friend to go to the Fairie Festival with; attended a friends birthday, the kickoff party for Recycled Rainbow, and the Battery Park Wine Bar - all on the same night!; begun work on a new performance outfit; joined the Pretentious Tremont Artist's drawing group for an evening; took a field trip to the Natural History Museum (where i somehow did not see the naked mole rats, Woe); held TWO meetings on the Sekrit Project; had the flu; ~maybe~ signed on to submit an imaginary album cover for an upcoming show; paid an afternoon visit to both Daffodil Hill in Lakeview Cemetery AND Eggshelland, in company with my 'nephew' Pookie Bear; did NOT drink a cocktail named 'The Kevorkian' at a closing night cast party; began designing a skeleton marionette; and started tomatoes and peppers for the garden i don't have. This is why i keep a calendar: not only to know what's coming up, but to keep track of where i've been.

So where do i begin? Chronologically, i guess, and that means ArtWalk and the Pretentious Tremont Artists. This is a group of artists who meets every Friday evening at The Literary Club - which, despite its name, is a charming little-known little bar on a Tremont side street. i've modelled for them a couple of times but this was my first time on the other side of the sketch pad. Here's what i came up with, side by side with a photo of the actual model. Now, due to it being ArtWalk, i arrived late and didn't get an optimal seat; in fact, i had some trouble seeing her as clearly as i would have liked. Excuses excuses, i know. i didn't have to go with the quasi-cartoonish styling, but so much of what i've drawn in recent years has been exactly that.

i really want to get back to drawing and painting; i've had a definite mental block whose nature i'm Aware of, and have been meaning to join them for a while as a way of breaking this. Plus its a better use of a Friday evening than just bending my elbow at some other fine local establishment, a pasttime i've grown quite bored with in recent months. This isn't the first time i've drawn from life, but its the first in probably twenty years or more. i hope to make it back again soon.

The very next night was the double parties, as well as a memorial that i didn't manage to get to. Enough confusion working out who was going to be where when. i missed the early 'surprise' part of the birthday party, tho once i did catch up to them, i really *did* get custody of the yellow mushroom. Here's proof, for those on Facebook who thought maybe i'd slipped a gear: Instead, i went on to the kick-off party for Recycled Rainbow. RR isn't our regional burn; Scorched Nuts is that - but its a Burning Man-inspired event that's grown out of a series of household 'salons' that used to happen a few years back til they got too big for one house. i've only made it to one RR so far; every year i hope to catch another. i really like and am inspired by the work these folks do and wish i could be more involved. Then again, i sometimes think in terms of micro-regionalism: they're doing their thing over there in Lakewood, while i'm involved with the Tremont/Ohio City/Gordon Square axis. And as long as there's interest to support it, why not have Their Thing there and Our Thing here?

Our thing.. *giggle*. i'm still not quite ready to spill on the Sekrit Project, maybe next blog. It IS going to be a Real Thing, even if only "just for one day". Funny how Bowie and Heroes/Helden have been weaving thru my life as a theme these past few weeks. Anway, multiple meetings should be a hint: this one's gonna be Coolest Thing Yet, or at least the most time- and energy-consuming!

Next up, Cleveland Confidential. The tour's wrapped up now, so if you didn't get a chance to see it, well, the Rock Hall is supposed to make the livestream available as a podcast, so check their website. That it happened at the Rock Hall was - kinda mind-blowing. If you don't know what i'm talking about, four guys from the earliest days of punk rock here in Cletown all have books out, and went on a speaking tour in support of them. Those four are Bob Whoozeewhasis from the Human Switchboard, Mike Hudson from The Pagans, Cheetah Chrome from the Dead Boys, and David Thomas from Pere Ubu. If you know ANYTHING about punk rock, you know at least one or two of those names.

Tickets were available by reservation only, despite being free; i was really surprised they didn't add a second show here in their freakin' home town. It was something of an Old Home Night down there, tho there were a number of faces i might have thought to see that either couldn't be there or just weren't, for whatever reason. But it was quite the time. i'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of these four being at the freaking ROCK HALL, because... aww splutter mutter! i'm just a wee bit younger and so wasn't physically around when they began their careers, but old enough to have followed them vicariously through the local free papers.

Yes, once upon a time, there were many free weeklies here in town, not just the Scene; and Scene was a far, far cry from the paper you see now. Those weeklies had an immense influence on me; they're pretty much how and why i got into punk. And not just the papers, but one person who wrote for them, specifically, Peter Laughner. At the age of fourteen, a weird, artsy-hippie outside recently transplanted from a college town with a notorious radical past (Kent State, hello?), i was perfectly primed to soak up every single word i could find from someone who was nearly a decade further down that particular path. i could (and have) written much more about this but there isn't time nor space here. Suffice to say this was something more than just a trip down Memory Lane for me, tho i'd have to put more thought into it before i could say just what, and i'm too tired/too busy for that.

In fact, i've been so busy that i never finished this post and now its already time for the next one. Ai chihuahua! So let's try to wrap this up in short order. Eggshelland: a springtime tradition that's been around as long a i have, give or take a year. One of those odd little local 'roadside attractions'. i think i first saw it after we moved to Clevo in 1970; i know for sure i took my kids when they were small. Now that they're grown, it's time to share with a new generation: Pookie Bear.

Pookie and his mom, my friend Sue, seen here surrounded by a few shots of this year's display. Yes, those are all real egg shells. Every one painted with enamel paint and stuck on a peg according to a grid pattern. Pookie, sadly, was much more impressed with the rope keeping patrons on the sidewalk, and the clasp on his stroller seatbelt. Ah well, maybe next year.

And with that, its now time for yet ANOTHER update. Which i haven't written yet. Let's get this posted and i'll see you again as soon as i can.

skirt the full circle

Dear diary -

These past couple weeks i had the centerpiece exhibit for the March ArtWalk at Doubting Thomas gallery; saw Easy Action and Cleveland Psych-Out with the Cynics and Rainy Day Saints; did the sound design for the first production of the 2011 season for convergence-continuum; put in an application for Pop-Up Pearl; celebrated Ostara with old friends i seldom see; had a lovely dinner with *other* old friends i see even less as they live in Ontario; walked downtown to see the St Patrick's Day parade; attended the world premiere screening of Long Way to Oblivion, a short feature written, shot, and based in Cleveland; and what else. Oh yeah. Got a year older and threw myself a party. You know, a typical few weeks in the life of a wolfkitten.

i've already written about the sound design in my last entry, seeing friends and bands is just what it sounds like, and getting old is a drag, and not in the fabulous lime-green false eyelashes sense either. i am really glad to have been invited to see the Canadians when they were in town, as One, they're just wonderful, fun, artsy people; and Two, it was really lovely and affirming to share food and wine and conversation with a group of folks who are all, in one way or another, continuing to live authentic and artistic lives in the face of a society that does not actively encourage either one.

What i really want to tell you about, tho, is the piece i did for the show at D.T. I'm probably more proud of the concept than i am the execution - not that it turned out badly; just that it didn't quite live up to the picture i had in my head, but then, when does art ever do that? The theme of the show was Full Circle, and i spent a couple weeks after agreeing to do it wracking my brain for something that would fit that idea.

What i came up with was first, the Wheel of the Year: the pagan concept of the turning of the seasons as a circle that we move through. But how to depict it? It would have to be shown in a circular format, obviously; however, i knew i wasn't likely to stretch a canvas into anything like a round shape. Finally, inspiration! i would make a circle skirt, of course, of course. And so i did.

It began as a plain white flannel sheet from the thrift store, a sketch, and a pattern (Simplicity 3847). Once the four panels were cut, i made a loose sketch on the material, and then the fun began. Originally, i wanted to do it all in batik, but batik is messy, i don't own a tjanting (batiking tool), and of course i'd left myself not quite enough time to work on it properly. Of course. Over the course of a couple days, i did get some rough wax outlines painted on. i'd purchased dye to use, but it wasn't turning out as i'd like so i opted for (shh - don't tell) food coloring instead. Which means the garment is likely NOT washable but its Art, right?

i'd found some tiny applicator bottles at Pat Catan's and used those to squirt on red, yellow, green, blue and black (that last being thinned acrylic). i know i had a couple shots of the panels drying on my porch that i want to put here, but now i can't find them to save my life. Instead i do have two pics of more-or-less completed panels:



Spring-summer first, then fall-winter.

The wax contained the colors somewhat, but there was more bleeding than i'd anticipated, so i had to let each color dry thoroughly before adding the next. Once everything was dyed, i had to remove the wax by ironing the panels between pages of newsprint - pages and pages and pages. i should have taken a shot of the mess this made of my workroom; i was ankle-deep in wax-soaked ad supplements by the time i was done!

After that, it was pretty simple to assemble the skirt - yes, including a zipper, to the surprise of some at the show. You can't see it here, but i used silver thread to hem it. Each panel has sequins or glitter embellishing some part of the design, and the pagan names for the eight holidays (solstices and equinoxes, plus the four 'cross-quarter days' that fall midway between them) written in gold metallic pen around the waistband. The piece will probably go up in my Etsy shop soon, cuz what else am i going to do with it?

And here - ta-da! - is the finished product en situ:


the upper edge wasn't tacked down enough to keep it from sagging, hence the ruffled look; but i really like the way it was surrounded by my friend Natalia's photos, all printed on round media just for this show. Here's a picture of the curator, Chelsie, in her fabulous outfit at the closing party.

Chelsie has a small part in Long Way to Oblivion, as do a number of my friends. The writer/director, Shawn Mishak, was the first person to ask me to submit something for a show back when i'd first returned to Cleveland in 2006; he hosted the long-running open mic at Edison's that was part of my weekly routine for years, and has been a true and supportive friend ever since i met him. The camerman/director of photography, Noel Maitland, was part of the technical crew at convergence when i first started, and (along with our late and much-missed friend brin) was one of the people to show me the basic ropes of sound design - so not only was there no WAY i was not going to attend their premiere, it all kind of comes - wait for it - Full Circle, don't you think?

And on that note, i better duck and run before you can reload. i promise i'll ~*try*~ to get another entry up mid-month, but April is teh crazeh tiem for me. i've already started prepping for the Fairie Festival that happens at the end of the month, and that is going to eat my time and my brain in a major way. Plus i modeled for the Pretentious Tremont Artistes group tonight, running lights for Morticia's Chair at the end of the month, costuming the next convergence production (and making puppets. PUPPETS!) and pulling together a one-day arts and community center prototype for Pop-Up Pearl so-o.. don't expect me to touch down anytime soon. But i promise i'll check in here when i do. Ta lovies!

The Alchemy of Sound Design

i've been meaning to put up a post for a while on the process of sound design, and now - while i'm in the middle of one, yet stalled - seems as good a time to do it as any (i'm stalled temporarily because the internet is down at the coffeeshop and i need to download files). Designing sound just might be my favorite thing to do for the theater, altho costuming runs a close second. As i tweeted last night, sound design is like DJ-ing - only different.

The process of putting together the soundscape for a play begins at the very first read-through. Listening to the actors go through the script, even at this early stage, can give you some ideas of where emphasis should fall, and what sort. Usually at this point, the only notes i make are emotional states: 'tense', 'mysterious', 'sexy'. However, if a particular song comes to mind, i'll put that down too, tho perhaps not right in the margins (ProTip: make notes in pencil!).

The next step is finding a cornerstone piece. Maybe this is suggested by a particular line that reminds me of a lyric; maybe it will come from a movie i've recently watched, or a CD i've been rocking lately. Quite possibly the director will have some suggestions, for types of tracks if not particular pieces. Whatever the track, it will sum up the overall mood of the play for me. Once i have this defining piece, the rest of the tracks i use will largely be grouped around it. Its not impossible that my cornerstone piece may not even get used in the play itself, altho if not it probably *will* show up in the pre- or post-show music.

For the play i'm working on now, the cornerstone was a piece by Brian Eno (which hm, come to think of it - i haven't found a place for it yet), 'Lantern Marsh'. Brian Eno leads me naturally to Robert Fripp, and i found a CD at the library i hadn't heard before, "That Which Passes". David Bowie associates with both of them, and Phillip Glass created a symphony based on the album "Low", which Bowie and Eno did together. 'Low' was recorded during Bowie's 'Berlin period', and Berlin suggests one of my favorite movies, "Wings of Desire" - and so on.

Now, this particular play revolves around the idea of instant media celebrities, so the director wanted to incorporate some NPR-style soundscapes. So while my overall mood was being created by the Bowie/Fripp/Eno/Berlin axis, a secondary thematic current has to be built around the notion of documentary soundtracks: lots of ambient soundscapes and sound effects. Often a script will call for particular sounds and even songs - i'm less happy when the playwright includes specific songs in the script, because i seldom agree with their tastes and choices, but you work with it. i found a site that offered free themes for use in podcasts, and was able to grab some things from there for the news aspect; other online sites provide canned audience reactions.

As you might expect, an NPR-type jazz intro theme doesn't in the *least* blend with the Teutonic dark ambient soundscape. This is good. Now, we can heighten the contrast between the fakely-cheerful media gloss on a subject, and the bleak discordance the subject is actually experiencing inside - a discordance that will become increasingly apparent as the flow of the narrative reveals itself.

This brings me back to the similarities with DJing. When i did college radio, i always preferred the late night slots, so that i could stretch out and put together hour-long sets if the mood was right. i would program based on my own mood, of course, but my mood was shaped by the group around me (the strange little tribe that called itself Thee Dark Lodge) - and i would begin to discover during those halcyon nights just how much an overall mood might pervade a scene, a town, a region. i would tap into an emotional state and program pieces that matched that state - which, in turn, would further SHAPE that state for anyone who happened to be tuned in to that night's show.

With sound design, i'm still shaping the flow of emotional reaction in my audience, although i only carry part of the responsibility for that influence. The actors themselves have the bulk of it; the lights, costume, set and actions contribute as well. Ideally, my sound design choices will work with the action onstage, serving functionally as an amplifier to what's being presented. Its a well-known cliche that movie music will clue you in to the action: Uh oh, here comes the scary part! Scoring for a play serves exactly the same function. Music and sound can indicate a mood, but they can also indicate a place – which may be somewhere different from where the action is occurring – a time (likewise) – or a particular character. You probably won’t use a character theme for every entrance, but if you use it a couple times, then that music can ‘refer’ to the character even if they’re offstage.

If you’re curious how this all comes together, “Valparaiso” by Don DeLillo opens Friday, March 18th at convergence-continuum. Doors at 7:30, curtain at 8:00 pm. Want to make a night of it? The Tremont TapHouse is just down the street, and a number of other fine restaurants like Properity, Bac, and Grumpy’s are right around the corner. And sadly, i am not getting kickbacks from any of them, i just like to promote good LOCAL entertainment. If i don’t see you there, i’ll catch you back here sometime real soon!

triple theater thing

Dear blog, i've been bad ("Monster hospital, would you please release me?"). i skipped the new moon update and am late with this one; oh well. i notice how i've been inundated with requests for the latest installment, a-HRM! On the other hand, this means i have an entire month of goings-on to catch you up on this time.

So what have i been up to? Theater benefits, mostly; or so it seems. Guess it's the season for them! The first of these was stage-managing a benefit performance for Cleveland Shakespeare Festival at the lovely old Brooks Theater of the Cleveland Playhouse. If you know anything about theater in this town at *all* you likely have a soft spot for the Brooks; i know i do. That it may become one more monster hospital parking lot Real Soon Now is simply heartbreaking. Some of my first exposure to theater outside a college milieu was at the Brooks; both my children have had pieces read there when they were at Cleveland School of the Arts. Its a quaint little brick box with faux-medieval touches - which happen to include an unheated booth. Did i mention this show was in January? Brr! But getting to wander a wee bit in the basement of the Playhouse - the Playhouse, yo!! - during set strike made it almost worth it. i also came a little too close to breaking my finger during that strike by dropping a door onto it (a framed door, set into a bit of prop wall, with supporting wings). i probably did put a hairline crack in the bone but wtf, its not hurting now.

Next up was Street Beat! the annual benefit for Near West Theater, who i had not worked with before. This is their 30th year, i believe, and they clearly are both established and - by the shoestring standards i'm used to - moneyed. Their benefit was held at Trinity Cathedral downtown; another survival from the days when Cleveland was mentioned in the same breath as New York and Chicago. i happen to have another soft spot for neo-Gothic cathedrals, having spent quite a few happy childhood hours in one (Church of the Saviour in Cleveland Hts - but that's another story). As their theme was a street carnival, they hired me to perform as a statue, reprising my Snow Queen outfit from Yuletide (late-breaking addition: a photo of me at the benefit!). They had really done up the interior, with street lights, scaffolding, recorded construction and traffic noises, and an Emcee dressed as a cop.

i was strategically placed near the entrance so i had a good view of everything. As always seems to happen, when i first get up to perform, i have a few moments when i think, i'm not going to be able to do this. My knees hurt, i'm not standing right, this outfit is way too hot. And as usual in about ten minutes i got into Statue Mode, where i apparently just sort of tune out a certain amount of body awareness; and i was fine. i'm not sure if i'm getting 'better' at it, but this was the first time i've had someone stand so close i was actually poking them with my hand, and they didn't seem to realize it. This happened two or three times that night. i wonder if i had given them an actual poke or pinch, would they have jumped out of their skin?

The best part of the evening for me - well, aside from the to-die-for little tarts filled with almond creme - was getting to speak with one of the directors of the Ingenuity Festival. i'd already pretty well made up my mind to apply as a performer there this year, but talking with him helped me shape a concept a little more clearly. i think i can work something out that i can use there and at the Fairie Festival - oh, did i mention i'll be performing there as a statue this year as well? Yep, got accepted. Awesomesauce with those magnificent tarts on top. You'll be hearing more about that, never you fear. Incidentally, this photo of Spoutwood's own Greenman with my pals Frenchy & The Punk (formerly the Gypsy Nomads) comes from The Painting Queen, coz its WAY better than any of the ones i've taken.

Then finally we had Zombie Prom, the fourth annual Liminis benefit bash. Isn't that logo lovely? Our own Jim Smith did that. It seems there's a musical by the same name; but as a resolutely NON-musical theater, none of us knew anything about that. The space was decorated as, i guess, for prom; since my BFF and i were stoner kids, we opted to buy some more 'lumbos rather than spend the cash on going as Carrie (replete with pigs blood) and her beau, as was our original plan; so i don't actually know what prom looks like. Except i can guess it probably never has body parts dangling from the ceiling like ours did - !

i'm not a big fan of the whole zombie thing; somehow i just don't Get It. Which maybe explains why i waited til not quite a week before to go shopping for a prom dress. Naturally, in that short a time, i wasn't able to find anything remotely suitable (and in my size). i did, however, find a lovely blue satin bedsheet for under three dollars. Well then, i guess i'm making a dress - ! Fortunately, i have a pattern i'd even made before that is simple and quick to assemble. Ah, but the imp of the perverse was not content with quick and simple. As i was finishing basic assembly, there came an imply whispering in my ear. "This dress isn't turning out half bad," it said. "Be a shame to get stage blood all over it".

Well, that imp might be perverse, but it happened to be on my side, this time. It reminded me that at least one kind of zombie is created by voodoo - and who do voodoo but a Creole priestess? Now as it happens, i've done a bit of research into the ways of the Loa and their priests and priestesses; so not only did i know just what to wear, i was able to assemble a costume right from my very own wardrobe. Sadly, however, not too many *other* people there knew much about Voudon; so i got mistaken for a gypsy more than once (but when is a gypsy ever dressed all in white, with dreadlocks? *sigh* These people). Maybe i should have brought cornmeal and drawn veves on the floor; i considered it. Or marked a small bottle as 'rum' and gone around spraying mouthfuls onto things. Somehow, tho, i don't think our director would have appreciated either one, authentic behaviours tho they might have been.

So that, gentle readers, is how i've whiled away the snow-filled hours this past dark month. Which is getting brighter! Here's a lovely picture of my outdoor guardian gnome taking in some sun after a recent crazy snowfall. i'm already busy busy busy with projects for these last few weeks of winter: sound design for the season opener, holding a sustainability salon, an art project for next month's ArtWalk that is totally *me*, and more. But i'll tell you all about that next time, so be sure to stop back when the moon is new!

triple theater threat

Wow. Two weeks already? Well, the moon looked pretty full last night, so i guess its time for - (dun duh DUH) An Update. Rather a happy exercise, as it happens, since it gives me a way of Keeping Track. Ah, and welcome to the blog post of Theater Benefits and Pointless Capitalization, it seems!

Its funny, every time i sit down to write one of these, my first thought is, 'Well, i didn't do much this time'. Then i go look at my calendar. As always, i wind up with a full paragraph of do-ings. This week? No different. So - onward!

Over the course of the past two weeks, i've attended a couple meetings for the upcoming benefit at the Liminis, signed on to stage-manage the benefit for the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival and to do sound design for the first convergence production of the year, re-scheduled my audition for the benefit for Near West Theater, ordered garden catalogs (none of which have yet arrived, grr), had another 'tweet-up' with my new/old friend, took down my tree, went to the Capitol Theater for the first time, and spent a lot of time curled in bed watching DVDs. i've also shifted my work schedule so that, in theory, i will have two days off in a row. It hasn't quite happened yet, as i keep getting called in to do things on a day off; but i'm hopeful.

By the time the next blog goes up, we'll have made a formal announcement about this year's Liminis benefit. Since that hasn't happened yet, all i can say is: BRRAAAIIIINNNNSSZS. i am busy wracking mine in an attempt to secure suitable entertainment. It's tough, because we're going up against both RAMONESMANIA and the Brite Winter Fest; but i'll get it done somehow. As for the Near West benefit, i'll probably be reprising my Snow Queen character; i've never 'auditioned' as a statue before so i'm not quite sure how that will go. i guess what it really means is, i need to put together a promotional packet for myself, pronto.

What i'm really excited about tho, is working the CleveShakes benefit. i'm not sure which is cooler here: that i got to learn how to run two new programs (i run sound AND lights on this one), or that i get to crew a performance at the Brooks Theater! Some of my first theater memories are there. Some of my first exposure to Shakespeare happened there - although i realized this morning that my *first* Shakespeare memory is also my "born in a trunk" moment, struggling to stay awake and watch my dad perform in a student production at Kent State while my mom worked box office.

Curiously, he was playing one of the witches in "Macbeth", a play that theater people can be superstitious about, considering it 'cursed'.. and the play we're doing for the benefit, "Scenery" revolves around the backstage action in a theatrical couple's dressing room on opening night - including the mysterious gift of a copy of "Macbeth". i love it when things come full circle like that.

And that, dear friends, is about all there is to report this time out. i've been pretty spectacularly UNcreative; i got as far as purchasing a new sketchbook but haven't even sharpened the pencils that i bought with it yet. My thought is to drop in on one of the Friday night open life drawing sessions over at the Literary while i still have some Friday evenings open - well, *when* i have one open again, which won't be til February. And sometime in the next couple weeks i've got to create a piece for the spring show at Doubting Thomas; sadly, i as yet have NO idea what that will be.

Finally, i have to start building up my stock for the Fairie Festival in May - assuming i get accepted back, of course; but as this will be my twelfth year vending if i do, i'm gambling on it. Still waiting to hear if they also will accept me as a living statue; if so, i'll have to get busy and start creating a faerie costume for myself, won't that be a burden! But let's not get too far ahead. We're at the coldest point of the year right now, so i am going to go bake some coffeecake for a potluck brunch and then maybe climb back into bed to get warm til its done. See you in two weeks!

End is but a new Begin

Y helo thar, readers. Hop enue yar. Seems like Lady Moon spun thru these past two weeks at double time; but then, i was late on the last post and there was that stretch of holiday craziness to get through, now mercifully over. i think the plan is to sum up what i did, but do i even know? i suppose that i do, and now that i gather my wits, there really *wasn't* very much since the last post. Which should make for quick disposal. Oh dear, that never bodes well, when i think that - !

There was the end of 2010 and the beginning of this year more than anything, of course. New Year's Eve always a juggle of more invitations and obligations than i can possibly keep. There's the dress i decided to make at the last minute, which, once completed, i didn't wear. There was the stop at Ed's, and the party where i ended the night, and a midnight between them spent quietly in pleasant company. There was, at last, family xmas: an overshot roadtrip to pick up younger daughter, dinner at the folks, gifts. There was a serendipituous tweetup with a woman likely to become a regular partner in crime; and a benefit to cover medical expenses for the Perfect Guy. And finally, the con-con holiday hangover party combined with (to my knowledge) first-ever company meeting to kick off our tenth season.

i didn't do much crafting, except for making these silly little Santa candy dishes. These were inspired by an old family photo my brother had put up - can you spot the original behind our fabulous 70s outfits and Mom's groovy pigtails? Hint:Its on top of the piano. It may yet reside in a box at my folks; they haven't broken out the full compliment of xmas goodies in years. i'm not sure my grrlinas Got It, but what the heck, i had fun.

Hopefully they appreciated the legwarmers made from recycled sweaters a bit more. Those, of course, i didn't think to take pictures of cuz i'm smart like that. Not sure if i found the idea on Instructables or, more likely, Burda Style. There WILL be more of these, because legwarmers possess teh awesome, and repurposed clothing automatically doubles that quotient. You can cruise my Etsy shop in about a month, bet you'll find some. Of course you can cruise it right now and find other things - go on, i'll wait.

See, wasn't that fun? =} Oh, speaking of Etsy reminds me i also put in my application to vend at The Fairie Festival in May. OK, somewhere i have a picture of me at my cart last year which i wanted to use, but i can't find it ::gnar:: So here's a pic of the Maypole instead. This is simply The. Coolest. Event. EVAR. Its so cool i put in a dual application this year, as vendor and performer both - hoping i can come do my statue thing, and put an assistant in charge of my cart. And speaking of *that* reminds me i also applied to perform as a statue at a benefit for Near West Theater next month. i have an audition in a couple weeks which will be amusing i think; i'm going to show up, stand there and ignore them.

And oh dear, i did do even more than i thought at first; because i seem to have signed on as Stage Manager for Cleveland Shakespeare's benefit which i will probably be completely immersed in by the time my next update is due. While i ~could~ have said no, i couldn't really, as CleveShakes may not solely be the brainchild of my boss but is pretty damn close; but its also at the Playhouse and yes, thank you, i'll take a resume credit there in exchange for the last two weekends in January.

There's not a lot to say about family xmas except OMG LOOK AT THIS DOLL , shown here posing with Erl the Stuffed Dog. Elder daughter has officially put her Maa's crafting ability to shame. Younger daughter also received a doll; *hers* is a stuffed - and bearded! - version of The Snuggler. i don't know why; young people have ways different from our own. My dollie has yet to tell me what she'd like to weat instead of a scarf - when she does, i'll make it for her.

i suppose NYE gets a paragraph or two as well. i mentioned making a dress - i'll find some excuse to wear it somewhere, don't know where yet tho. When i bought the material, the clerk at JoAnn's warned me i'd have glitter everywhere. My inner drag queen rejoiced, but i'll tell ya what, she wasn't kidding. Its a lovely blue velour w/silver glitter crescents and starbursts, that leaves a shimmering slug trail behind it anywhere i would have or will wear it. And where did i go, in the big blue satin shirt i wore instead - ?

My first stop was at Edison's, of course. Morticia's Chair were already playing when i arrived, so i didn't really get to say hi to the guys in the band. The place looked great, all done up in black and white tinsel rope, and was starting to fill with people, but i couldn't stay. i've spent, i think, the last three or four New Year's Eve's there and that's plenty. i'd accepted an invite to a party with friends from the Clepunk crowd and was headed there; but i made a stop along the way and ushered in the new year there, listening to WCSB and fireworks going off in the neighborhood. Might have stayed if i hadn't promised the hostess, who had made up a sweet little crash space just for me, complete with a ragdoll. That was a lovely time as well, where i also would have stayed longer if the birdies didn't require my presence the next morning.

One last thing i did and then its on to what i will be doing.. i attended a benefit at the Happy Dog for Dave P from the Very Knees, who had to deal with an unpleasant attendee at his own New Years party and wound up with a broken arm for his trouble :-( Jovana from Hot Cha Cha said he's been crowned King of Cleveland and i don't know about that but it could be true. If you've ever wandered downstairs to This Way Out during a show at the Beachland, you've probably talked to Dave. Not sure if the Hot Cha Cha grrls organized the benefit for him but it sure was a crazy turnout.

This leads into what i will be doing nicely, as for a while i've been talking about having an All Grrl's Night Out. i got the bright idea to talk to Jovana about it and now it kinda has to happen. Hoping to make it at the end of February; there will be MUCH more - maybe even a special separate post! - as soon as i get it on its feet. Of course, i will also be organizing the convergence annual benefit event to happen in mid-February, so there is not going to be anything like 'down time' in my life just because the temps are in the teens and no one wants to go out and do anything in this weather. Speaking of this weather, here's a lovely photo i took off my porch during a recent snowfall: .
Seriously, this is right in the city, just a couple miles from the center of downtown Cleveland. Ain't it sumthin'?

Alright kids, time to go stir the soup. See you at the full moon..

wrap'n'roll it..

O i know i should be writing, i'm past due by my own schedule for a post. But the past two weeks have been such exhausting fun all i want to do is sit here. Maybe even watch some movin' pitchers in that funny squawking box in the other room - and if i want *that*, gentle reader, you may know that i am tired indeed, for such things hold but little amusement for me as a rule.

What is it i have done since last i posted, to weary me so? If one can but believe it, i can scarce recall; i know only that it has been the holidays, and there have been many parties, and it seems i attended them all. Thereby at last turning me into one of the Bronte sisters, apparently. Next thing you know i shall take to my bed in the garrett, not to rise til spring or perhaps at all; the consumption having gotten me at the last.

Well a well, then, if that be not it.. then i suppose i spent four nights a week in the most horrendously pink dress i ever sewed (what was i thinking at the time?!), my hair in pigtails, belting out "Sow Took the Measles" in my best bad country drawl. i - oh! - i did two craft shows, my first in months. i attended two friend's holiday parties, another friend's 40th birthday bash, and a gathering of Clepunks/former WCSB jocks at Prosperity Social Club. i sat, freezing, on my porch to watch the lunar eclipse, got my picture taken on Hovaclause's lap, went caroling on Xmas Eve, had an open house (with full turkey dinner) at Chez Wufkitn on the 25th, got wow-ed at the Project "R" DVD release party at the Center for Rock Research, and finally saw the greatest Xmas band in the world, Missile Toe. And it hasn't even *been* Christmas with my family, yet. i guess maybe i have good reason to be tired.

i don't know if i need to break those down much further. i'd like to shift, in the hopefully-near future, to doing one 'wrap-up' post like this, and then giving the details in smaller posts made every other day or so; but that won't really work til i have full, regular internet access again. And honestly, i don't know if i have the time to keep up with that much blogging, although as my tendency is to write one big SPLAT of a post i'm hoping i can still do that then edit it into bite-sized pieces.

i also am likely going to start a second blog. Yes, i know, i was just saying i don't have time enough for this one - what, am i crazy? Well yes, but never mind all that. i feel like i'm beginning to get a focus with this one, something i lacked when i began it. i want the second blog as a place to put my more metaphysical ramblings, which will likely happen much more sporadically; and keep this one as an outlet for my art/craft/theater/performing etc activities.

And so with that, my small but cherished band of faithful readers, i shall take my leave of you, ne'er to be seen again until Father Kronos has once again passed away and been replaced by his newborn child-self - which is to say next year, for the less mythically-minded amongst you. May your days be merry and your toes be warm, and i shall see you in 2011!