ok tweeps. car is packed, HOPE i've got all, & make it safely! Off to the Fairie Fest, see u next week! Merry Beltane!
30 April 2009
29 April 2009
19 April 2009
It was an April morning when they told us..
Ah spring. i am a bad goth, i much prefer spring, everything coming back to life and blooming over autumn. i have a lot of good memories associated with Aprils past; forsythia blossoms feel like Hope, to me. Hope for the future.
my future is far from assured.. there's a lot about it that's downright scary. In many ways i feel i'm picking up where i left off thirty years ago - but i'm thirty years older now, and the future has a limit on it i couldn't see before. i could bring myself down following this train of thought. i've been strongly attracted to the Fool card from the Tarot in recent years (since this newest period of my life commenced) - see a cliff? Jump off - and i have this absurd belief that just as long as i don't look down i won't fall; the clouds will rise up beneath my feet and bear me safely to the other side.
and i'm not dead, yet. Maybe i'll get to where i'm going and maybe i won't.. no, scratch that. i'll get there - it may not be where i THINK it will be, but i'll arrive. And i am on my way.
i'm a witch and a pagan, tho not a 'practicing' one in the sense most people think. i seldom manage to circle w/anyone, rarely do spells, and i certainly don't *look* like [insert neopagan stereotype here]. But i Feel the moon and the seasons in my blood. i Feel energie flows. i Feel spring when it rises, the currents of Possibility opening out before me.
April has been a month of changes in my life - perhaps i mean milestones. The watershed event that propelled me into the life i lead now occurred in April. i've been married (twice) in April - maybe i shouldn't count those, eh? ;-} In April, Lakeview Cemetery is perhaps the most beautiful place in the city. i am overdue to spend some hours wandering there; i used to spend my afternoons strolling the quiet grassy avenues. Many dreams and goals were shaped in that green and stony park - i miss it. Daffodil Hill will be covered in a sea of yellow and the cherry trees and dogwoods seem to uphold the life everlasting those Victorian architects subscribed to. Of course i interpret the concept differently.
It is spring and everything is new and awakening. i have new projects on the horizon and fresh approaches to old ones. i am filled with hope and ideas and perhaps even the energies to carry some out. i have walked a spiral round and round and round again, but each time i tread the 'same' path i am a loop farther on. The path i walk is insistent beneath my feet. It will lead me on whether i will it or no. On previous turns i have resisted and hesitated; no more. My foot is set firmly now and there is no choice but to go forward. Whether it will take me where i hope i cannot know, only that everything is just and right.
Today was a day filled with such promise. The sun shone, the air was warm. i spent a couple hours breaking up Japanese knotweed at the back of a vacant lot, helping prepare the land for gardens to come. The plot is a little distance but near enuf i can ride my bike, & plan to, as it warms. One of the elements of this path is community work and here is a route to that. There is more to be done, always more; but it felt good to be Involved again - not to mention being outdoors, in service to Mother Earth. The Fifth Sacred paradigm will manifest.
This is a vision i've held for a while, and see beginning to take more solid form. Things that have seemed out in the wouldn't-it-be-cool-if sphere are finding a way to manifest. i know that i Know how to make them happen - some? all? But to do so means my energies *must* go there and not be diluted, channelled into mundane realities. Therefore i must trust thee yoniverse to take care of me while i do the work that is laid out before me. We are still negotiating how this might happen - but i've a roof over my head and food (if meager) in the cupboards. i will survive, and with the spring will come a flowering of all that has been sown.
my future is far from assured.. there's a lot about it that's downright scary. In many ways i feel i'm picking up where i left off thirty years ago - but i'm thirty years older now, and the future has a limit on it i couldn't see before. i could bring myself down following this train of thought. i've been strongly attracted to the Fool card from the Tarot in recent years (since this newest period of my life commenced) - see a cliff? Jump off - and i have this absurd belief that just as long as i don't look down i won't fall; the clouds will rise up beneath my feet and bear me safely to the other side.
and i'm not dead, yet. Maybe i'll get to where i'm going and maybe i won't.. no, scratch that. i'll get there - it may not be where i THINK it will be, but i'll arrive. And i am on my way.
i'm a witch and a pagan, tho not a 'practicing' one in the sense most people think. i seldom manage to circle w/anyone, rarely do spells, and i certainly don't *look* like [insert neopagan stereotype here]. But i Feel the moon and the seasons in my blood. i Feel energie flows. i Feel spring when it rises, the currents of Possibility opening out before me.
April has been a month of changes in my life - perhaps i mean milestones. The watershed event that propelled me into the life i lead now occurred in April. i've been married (twice) in April - maybe i shouldn't count those, eh? ;-} In April, Lakeview Cemetery is perhaps the most beautiful place in the city. i am overdue to spend some hours wandering there; i used to spend my afternoons strolling the quiet grassy avenues. Many dreams and goals were shaped in that green and stony park - i miss it. Daffodil Hill will be covered in a sea of yellow and the cherry trees and dogwoods seem to uphold the life everlasting those Victorian architects subscribed to. Of course i interpret the concept differently.
It is spring and everything is new and awakening. i have new projects on the horizon and fresh approaches to old ones. i am filled with hope and ideas and perhaps even the energies to carry some out. i have walked a spiral round and round and round again, but each time i tread the 'same' path i am a loop farther on. The path i walk is insistent beneath my feet. It will lead me on whether i will it or no. On previous turns i have resisted and hesitated; no more. My foot is set firmly now and there is no choice but to go forward. Whether it will take me where i hope i cannot know, only that everything is just and right.
Today was a day filled with such promise. The sun shone, the air was warm. i spent a couple hours breaking up Japanese knotweed at the back of a vacant lot, helping prepare the land for gardens to come. The plot is a little distance but near enuf i can ride my bike, & plan to, as it warms. One of the elements of this path is community work and here is a route to that. There is more to be done, always more; but it felt good to be Involved again - not to mention being outdoors, in service to Mother Earth. The Fifth Sacred paradigm will manifest.
This is a vision i've held for a while, and see beginning to take more solid form. Things that have seemed out in the wouldn't-it-be-cool-if sphere are finding a way to manifest. i know that i Know how to make them happen - some? all? But to do so means my energies *must* go there and not be diluted, channelled into mundane realities. Therefore i must trust thee yoniverse to take care of me while i do the work that is laid out before me. We are still negotiating how this might happen - but i've a roof over my head and food (if meager) in the cupboards. i will survive, and with the spring will come a flowering of all that has been sown.
16 April 2009
08 April 2009
no sweeping exits
i am, have always been someone who needs a certain amount of solitude. Even sitting here, alone in an empty apartment, i feel the world encroaching too much; too many demands on my time. Of course i could leave the computer off. There are those i want to connect with; just now more than ever i find i must keep a close watch on the gate.
Which is ironic since i've chosen to live my life as something of a public figure. Or maybe not ironic at all. i swim in a few, overlapping, moderately small ponds. Small enough i appear a medium-size fish (well mermaid actually but we needn't get into that now). A lot of people 'know' me, but its somewhat superficially. Which is all right.. i am an ongoing real-time performance art piece of several decades duration, at this point. But the piece is not performed 24/7; there are times when i must be 'offstage'. Sometimes more than others.
Yes, i suppose i should 'write a book'. Kent State shootings? check. 70s intro to glam/punk? check, and already kinda written to boot. 80s life as underground punkrawk mamacita? BTDT, some of its written, some of *that* i might even share.
90s - um, what was the 90s. Readjustment period? yeah, i donno about that part. i mean i guess i did cool stuff then too, just not as cool as having Henry Rollins stay over & junk. 1st half of 1st decade of 21st century: yeah, we're probably going to edit this part out.
True, those events Shaped me and made me stronger (or is that just older) by virtue of not killing me. They also substantially damaged me in ways i dont know that i'll ever fully recover from. Sure, they're part of being the Fabulous Sascha Peppercorn, but.. well look. This is what goes in the, only some people get shown this back room in my head section, k?
i don't know what i'm trying to say here - which is probably not the best way to approach writing anything, little say a book. i DO need to have people around me who Know, and can be there when the world gets crumbly around the edges. Sometimes i need not to be Sascha, or sade, or freaking Pagoda Panic thankyouverymuch. Sometimes i don't even want to be Mandy Slade but central casting hasn't let me take off the mandy mermaid costume lately.
i think what i'm trying to sort out is, when i need to bow out and become less visible for a time, do i really owe anyone an explanation - ?! No, technically of course i don't. But folks who are used to me being the fairytale village witch who smells of gingerbread and amber don't always Understand.
Yeah. Such a bitch being Me, huh?
Which is ironic since i've chosen to live my life as something of a public figure. Or maybe not ironic at all. i swim in a few, overlapping, moderately small ponds. Small enough i appear a medium-size fish (well mermaid actually but we needn't get into that now). A lot of people 'know' me, but its somewhat superficially. Which is all right.. i am an ongoing real-time performance art piece of several decades duration, at this point. But the piece is not performed 24/7; there are times when i must be 'offstage'. Sometimes more than others.
Yes, i suppose i should 'write a book'. Kent State shootings? check. 70s intro to glam/punk? check, and already kinda written to boot. 80s life as underground punkrawk mamacita? BTDT, some of its written, some of *that* i might even share.
90s - um, what was the 90s. Readjustment period? yeah, i donno about that part. i mean i guess i did cool stuff then too, just not as cool as having Henry Rollins stay over & junk. 1st half of 1st decade of 21st century: yeah, we're probably going to edit this part out.
True, those events Shaped me and made me stronger (or is that just older) by virtue of not killing me. They also substantially damaged me in ways i dont know that i'll ever fully recover from. Sure, they're part of being the Fabulous Sascha Peppercorn, but.. well look. This is what goes in the, only some people get shown this back room in my head section, k?
i don't know what i'm trying to say here - which is probably not the best way to approach writing anything, little say a book. i DO need to have people around me who Know, and can be there when the world gets crumbly around the edges. Sometimes i need not to be Sascha, or sade, or freaking Pagoda Panic thankyouverymuch. Sometimes i don't even want to be Mandy Slade but central casting hasn't let me take off the mandy mermaid costume lately.
i think what i'm trying to sort out is, when i need to bow out and become less visible for a time, do i really owe anyone an explanation - ?! No, technically of course i don't. But folks who are used to me being the fairytale village witch who smells of gingerbread and amber don't always Understand.
Yeah. Such a bitch being Me, huh?
18 March 2009
best.birthday.EVAR.
Siriusly. The last time i had this much fun on my berfday? Maybe when Alien Sex Fiend played the Lakefront in 1985?! (or was it 84?) Today was full of cookies topped w/awesomesauce and a big fat WIN on top. And its all cuz i live in a wonderful, beautiful, *supportive* arts community.
First, the day: i can literally count on one hand the number of birthdays i've had when the weather wasn't shite. Its rare enuf to be over 50 out, but to be 70 AND sunny?? This just Does Not Happen in Cleveland in March. But it did today, so i made it my inaugural bike ride of the season. Decided on a whim to put my squeezebox on my back and bike downtown for the parade.. which could have been trouble with a capital 'T', but it actually worked out. And that's despite the fact that as i got to the Detroit-Superior bridge (which spans the river dividing east from west) my bike chain got jammed between gears. So what?
i walked my bike over the bridge and down to the new Phoenix Coffee on W. 9th. They're my Twitter friends, had to check them out, lol. (Sweet little place; might be worth some daytime rides for wi-fi'n'chai this spring). Tried texting my pal who is also my birthday twin.. well, we did text; just never connected. Downtown was pagan revelry.. everybody's Irish in Cleveland on St. Padrec's, but today everyone was *heathen* Irish. No woad that i saw, but wtf. Another pal called it Green Halloween and i think she's right. Imagine the flipside of Halloween; instead of preparing for winter, this is opening up to spring. Costumes EVERYWHERE.. of course most of them were drunk suburban White People, but hey. Everyone was smiling, maybe too drunk but in early afternoon almost all still happy.
i walked east to go south; Superior to E.12th to E.9th to Euclid to E.4th. Stopped on E.4th a while to break out the squeezebox. i could have busked but i'm still too shy at it so just played quietly in open spots - well as quiet as an accordion gets. There was a girl who played a fullsize in front of Erie St. Coffee; she & i jammed a couple tunes. Then a fellow came up who knew her.. i'm looking at him, thinking he looks familiar - and omg its a guy i've known thru open mic scenes first, then the vortex a couple years ago when everything got - strange. He dropped out of sight and i haven't seen or spoken to him since, but there he was, looking good and SO good to see him!
From there i went on to Public Square. Met my best pal, who works in the old Higbee bldg, scene of visiting Santa in the Christmas Story movie. We cut thru Tower City, came out back near W.9th. People asking me to play again, so i did. She had to go back to work and i headed home, thinking i'd have to walk the bike. i was able to coast once past the hump in the bridge, then discovered i could pedal half a cycle forward, backpedal, another half a cycle.. was slow going but i made it home that way. W/the squeezebox in a backpack and my tophat on my head. Once home i set the bicycle upside down out back and banged at it til i got the chain free. i'll need to put new gears on it - anybody know anything about the Ohio City Bike Co-op? i think i need their help!
At home for a minute then.. did some cleaning and got changed out of indie bike clothes. i Luv bike culture.. when i was headed down, i got passed by three vegan bike messenger kidz, one of whom had a trailer attached: in which an older hippie gent was riding, ponytail and fancy hat and all. He waved and smiled and i waved and smiled back. When you're out on a bike, you make personal contact w/others who bike, and its not like passing people walking. Bike people smile and wave and say hey, coz we Recognize other people who are Choosing this way of transport over fossil fuels.
Got myself some Chinese carryout on the way to rehearsal, coz i <3 it and i knew they weren't doing any business (no corned beef, lol). Ate out on the porch at the theater in beautiful weather. Had a decent run-thru of second act of Mineola Twins, and a nice chat w/Clyde, our director/paterfamilias after. One more quick change later - i needed boots, not ballet flats once it was dark - and i was off to open mic.
i'm having my "official" party Friday, but it'll have a hard time topping tonight, coz this was a gather of my heart family, and SO many of them(you?) came out. Shawn, our longtime open mic MC, gave me a painting he'd done, w/special sekrit writing on the back. All sorts of folks bought me drinks, played me songs, danced in a ring etc.. but perhaps the best was Chrissie, Chrissy & Cynthia, who brought a bag full of home-made paper plate masks and tinsel streamers to hand out to the crowd.. AND put together a choreographed routine to Nine Inch Nails (and maybe Sublime? i don't know), which they performed in my honor. *snif*.
This was so so perfect i can't begin to tell you. i don't even know what was best.. watching these girls get up, put on silly sparkly lacy costumes and do a routine they put together AND REHEARSED.. or seeing everyone at open mic sporting masks w/flowers and leaves and tinsel streamers - ?! =:o Fairie Fest peeps&tweeps know the sort of energie i'm talkin'bout. Everyone shedding their winter blahs, out in finery, having fun, spontaneously dressed up. Yes, that was it! It was an authentic Temporary Autonomous Zone, the sort of things that happen in my Dreams. But here, now, in the waking world.
It filtered down as the evening wore on, but my Particular Friend whose band i work with played a solo version of my favorite of their songs (Blue Absynthe)for me, and then wound up with a rousing version of 'Shambones and Monkeyjaws', which he used to play with his old band, Screwtractor. Everyone was stomping or clapping or drumming on the tables along with the rhythm at the end, all of us together. And then! The original open mic MC from years ago played me 'Gary Floyd' by the Butthole Surfers, and to cap the night, our current MC played my favoritest Kimya Dawson song whose name i can't remember without looking it up.. um.. 'Loose Lips', that's it. i know about half the lyrics, so he had me come up and sing it along with him.
*whew*.
i'm sure i've forgotten half of what went on, tho i WAS good and did not get dr00nk (tho i easily could have!) It *stayed* nice out, even more impressive, tho the sky is still clear. i gave one more lovely crafty friend a ride home and came home dancing with rainbows in my head. But they will be on my wall soon enuf, so i stop now.. just want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who came out tonite, because you made this a Fo'Real Milestone Birthday for me. And if you missed it and are in Clevo and are free Fri. night, come on down to Pat's in the Flats and with any luck we'll do it all over again. Only different. i LOVE you my vortex Rainbow family of laughing light, and i don't even care if i sound like an old hippie because i AM! Ha!!! *smooch*
First, the day: i can literally count on one hand the number of birthdays i've had when the weather wasn't shite. Its rare enuf to be over 50 out, but to be 70 AND sunny?? This just Does Not Happen in Cleveland in March. But it did today, so i made it my inaugural bike ride of the season. Decided on a whim to put my squeezebox on my back and bike downtown for the parade.. which could have been trouble with a capital 'T', but it actually worked out. And that's despite the fact that as i got to the Detroit-Superior bridge (which spans the river dividing east from west) my bike chain got jammed between gears. So what?
i walked my bike over the bridge and down to the new Phoenix Coffee on W. 9th. They're my Twitter friends, had to check them out, lol. (Sweet little place; might be worth some daytime rides for wi-fi'n'chai this spring). Tried texting my pal who is also my birthday twin.. well, we did text; just never connected. Downtown was pagan revelry.. everybody's Irish in Cleveland on St. Padrec's, but today everyone was *heathen* Irish. No woad that i saw, but wtf. Another pal called it Green Halloween and i think she's right. Imagine the flipside of Halloween; instead of preparing for winter, this is opening up to spring. Costumes EVERYWHERE.. of course most of them were drunk suburban White People, but hey. Everyone was smiling, maybe too drunk but in early afternoon almost all still happy.
i walked east to go south; Superior to E.12th to E.9th to Euclid to E.4th. Stopped on E.4th a while to break out the squeezebox. i could have busked but i'm still too shy at it so just played quietly in open spots - well as quiet as an accordion gets. There was a girl who played a fullsize in front of Erie St. Coffee; she & i jammed a couple tunes. Then a fellow came up who knew her.. i'm looking at him, thinking he looks familiar - and omg its a guy i've known thru open mic scenes first, then the vortex a couple years ago when everything got - strange. He dropped out of sight and i haven't seen or spoken to him since, but there he was, looking good and SO good to see him!
From there i went on to Public Square. Met my best pal, who works in the old Higbee bldg, scene of visiting Santa in the Christmas Story movie. We cut thru Tower City, came out back near W.9th. People asking me to play again, so i did. She had to go back to work and i headed home, thinking i'd have to walk the bike. i was able to coast once past the hump in the bridge, then discovered i could pedal half a cycle forward, backpedal, another half a cycle.. was slow going but i made it home that way. W/the squeezebox in a backpack and my tophat on my head. Once home i set the bicycle upside down out back and banged at it til i got the chain free. i'll need to put new gears on it - anybody know anything about the Ohio City Bike Co-op? i think i need their help!
At home for a minute then.. did some cleaning and got changed out of indie bike clothes. i Luv bike culture.. when i was headed down, i got passed by three vegan bike messenger kidz, one of whom had a trailer attached: in which an older hippie gent was riding, ponytail and fancy hat and all. He waved and smiled and i waved and smiled back. When you're out on a bike, you make personal contact w/others who bike, and its not like passing people walking. Bike people smile and wave and say hey, coz we Recognize other people who are Choosing this way of transport over fossil fuels.
Got myself some Chinese carryout on the way to rehearsal, coz i <3 it and i knew they weren't doing any business (no corned beef, lol). Ate out on the porch at the theater in beautiful weather. Had a decent run-thru of second act of Mineola Twins, and a nice chat w/Clyde, our director/paterfamilias after. One more quick change later - i needed boots, not ballet flats once it was dark - and i was off to open mic.
i'm having my "official" party Friday, but it'll have a hard time topping tonight, coz this was a gather of my heart family, and SO many of them(you?) came out. Shawn, our longtime open mic MC, gave me a painting he'd done, w/special sekrit writing on the back. All sorts of folks bought me drinks, played me songs, danced in a ring etc.. but perhaps the best was Chrissie, Chrissy & Cynthia, who brought a bag full of home-made paper plate masks and tinsel streamers to hand out to the crowd.. AND put together a choreographed routine to Nine Inch Nails (and maybe Sublime? i don't know), which they performed in my honor. *snif*.
This was so so perfect i can't begin to tell you. i don't even know what was best.. watching these girls get up, put on silly sparkly lacy costumes and do a routine they put together AND REHEARSED.. or seeing everyone at open mic sporting masks w/flowers and leaves and tinsel streamers - ?! =:o Fairie Fest peeps&tweeps know the sort of energie i'm talkin'bout. Everyone shedding their winter blahs, out in finery, having fun, spontaneously dressed up. Yes, that was it! It was an authentic Temporary Autonomous Zone, the sort of things that happen in my Dreams. But here, now, in the waking world.
It filtered down as the evening wore on, but my Particular Friend whose band i work with played a solo version of my favorite of their songs (Blue Absynthe)for me, and then wound up with a rousing version of 'Shambones and Monkeyjaws', which he used to play with his old band, Screwtractor. Everyone was stomping or clapping or drumming on the tables along with the rhythm at the end, all of us together. And then! The original open mic MC from years ago played me 'Gary Floyd' by the Butthole Surfers, and to cap the night, our current MC played my favoritest Kimya Dawson song whose name i can't remember without looking it up.. um.. 'Loose Lips', that's it. i know about half the lyrics, so he had me come up and sing it along with him.
*whew*.
i'm sure i've forgotten half of what went on, tho i WAS good and did not get dr00nk (tho i easily could have!) It *stayed* nice out, even more impressive, tho the sky is still clear. i gave one more lovely crafty friend a ride home and came home dancing with rainbows in my head. But they will be on my wall soon enuf, so i stop now.. just want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who came out tonite, because you made this a Fo'Real Milestone Birthday for me. And if you missed it and are in Clevo and are free Fri. night, come on down to Pat's in the Flats and with any luck we'll do it all over again. Only different. i LOVE you my vortex Rainbow family of laughing light, and i don't even care if i sound like an old hippie because i AM! Ha!!! *smooch*
14 March 2009
the same deep water as me
Damn. Do you know how close i came to starting this entry, 'It's happened again' - ?? It's happened again all over again. Only this time "it" isn't some website offending me with its drab-n-creary color scheme. No, this time "it" is far worse. That Question. You know, the one no girl ever wants to be asked.
"Have you ever thought of writing a book?"
Waauugghh. Please, ask me my age - i'm happy to tell you i'm days shy of fifty. And still rockin', dammit, even if i am a bit wheezy at the moment - hurr! Ask me about adventures with much younger men - there aren't any, not because the opportunity isn't there, but because i have not yet fully embraced my inner Maude, thereby allowing me to welcome in any potential Harolds. But write a book? Eek.
Its not that the words don't dribble from my fingers with a rather annoying regularity :::wipes surreptitiously on the tablecloth::: It's not even that i haven't already DONE this. Well - ok, 'Goddess of the Crucifixion' isn't ~my~ book precisely, but i put so damn much work into the thing i can claim about a third of it. And no you've never heard of it because it's languishing in a hard-drive of holding until some future day when i feel i might be ready to try and Do Something With It. (for late arrivals: GotC is my ex-husband's masterwork. It's fantasy, albeit Tolkien as retold by Lovecraft and Anne Roquelaure, in which the main characters undergo several incarnations. Ate the winter of 2002-3. Husband drama ensured i've sat on it ever since). Then there's Digital Aeon, which once in a while will tell itself to me in bits and pieces, but has been doing so for about fifteen years, now, and hasn't deigned to let me know how all the Point A stuff might eventually connect to Point B.
Of course, when the question arises, people don't usually have fiction in mind. They mean Damn, girl, with the life you've lived? Why don't you write a book?! It is just this very minute occurring to me that part of my reluctance might be that to stop and write about it tacitly acknowledges that i'm no longer actively *living* it. Which i still very much am, thanks just the same, so not ready to pen any memoirs just yet.
On another hand - i'm down with Kali, there will be several hands - what would be the point? Sure, i've had Adventures. Plan to keep on havin' 'em for a while yet, if perhaps not at the level i usedta could. But i'm hardly alone in that. i might be a medium-size fish, but this isn't *that* big a pond.. honestly, i've met folks who've done/been/seen more things than me. Sure, none of 'em have quite had my particular viewpoint, but - eh. It just doesn't seem relevant much beyond my social circle, yanno?
But yet again again, perhaps that's what this blog is for. i'm still casting about with this one, i'm sure you couldn't tell ha ha. This isn't my personal journal that i happen to share with several dozen of closest intimate friends many of whom i've not even met out here in meatspace. This isn't a column of reviews; i considered that, but i don't go to a lot of "things" anymore. Not like the late 80s/early 90s when i was seeing/meeting/feeding some great underground band every other week (insert story of Steve Albini and the highchair here - i could, yet its really not all that interesting. Beyond the fact that Steve Albini was over at my house, w00).
i know what it is i Do out in the world.. not just the promobitch networking stuff or the stagecrew-ing or being a crafter or any of that. Actually it IS networking, but on a different level. i am, in part, a synthesist - please see previous blog for references to Stand On Zanzibar. But i don't just abstract patterns from the data i collect; i make connections BASED on that data. Whoa. Hm. Not sure i've ever formulated that into words before.
So it would make sense to me to do that thru the blog somehow, but how? Oh hai Person A in Town 2; meet Person B in Town 5, you're both into X. Would that become, "met Person A for wi-fi'n'chai today, showed them Person B's website, promised to tweet about their project". Hrm? i suppose it could, but that seems so - soulless. Yet nor do i wish to fall into the "based on my past lives as an Atlantean shaman/princess/tamer of sea-unicorns, i realize that my True Path is to help beclouded souls out of their occlusion from the Ascended Way" - even though - o dear, i cannot say it - but i must - even though that one's closer to the truth.
This is why Twitter is my new favorite site TLA4Eva. Because no matter what is flitting thru my branez, i have to fit it into 140 characters or forever hold my peace. This post brought to you by #UNFollowFriday, the letter kratkoye and the numeral pi.
"Have you ever thought of writing a book?"
Waauugghh. Please, ask me my age - i'm happy to tell you i'm days shy of fifty. And still rockin', dammit, even if i am a bit wheezy at the moment - hurr! Ask me about adventures with much younger men - there aren't any, not because the opportunity isn't there, but because i have not yet fully embraced my inner Maude, thereby allowing me to welcome in any potential Harolds. But write a book? Eek.
Its not that the words don't dribble from my fingers with a rather annoying regularity :::wipes surreptitiously on the tablecloth::: It's not even that i haven't already DONE this. Well - ok, 'Goddess of the Crucifixion' isn't ~my~ book precisely, but i put so damn much work into the thing i can claim about a third of it. And no you've never heard of it because it's languishing in a hard-drive of holding until some future day when i feel i might be ready to try and Do Something With It. (for late arrivals: GotC is my ex-husband's masterwork. It's fantasy, albeit Tolkien as retold by Lovecraft and Anne Roquelaure, in which the main characters undergo several incarnations. Ate the winter of 2002-3. Husband drama ensured i've sat on it ever since). Then there's Digital Aeon, which once in a while will tell itself to me in bits and pieces, but has been doing so for about fifteen years, now, and hasn't deigned to let me know how all the Point A stuff might eventually connect to Point B.
Of course, when the question arises, people don't usually have fiction in mind. They mean Damn, girl, with the life you've lived? Why don't you write a book?! It is just this very minute occurring to me that part of my reluctance might be that to stop and write about it tacitly acknowledges that i'm no longer actively *living* it. Which i still very much am, thanks just the same, so not ready to pen any memoirs just yet.
On another hand - i'm down with Kali, there will be several hands - what would be the point? Sure, i've had Adventures. Plan to keep on havin' 'em for a while yet, if perhaps not at the level i usedta could. But i'm hardly alone in that. i might be a medium-size fish, but this isn't *that* big a pond.. honestly, i've met folks who've done/been/seen more things than me. Sure, none of 'em have quite had my particular viewpoint, but - eh. It just doesn't seem relevant much beyond my social circle, yanno?
But yet again again, perhaps that's what this blog is for. i'm still casting about with this one, i'm sure you couldn't tell ha ha. This isn't my personal journal that i happen to share with several dozen of closest intimate friends many of whom i've not even met out here in meatspace. This isn't a column of reviews; i considered that, but i don't go to a lot of "things" anymore. Not like the late 80s/early 90s when i was seeing/meeting/feeding some great underground band every other week (insert story of Steve Albini and the highchair here - i could, yet its really not all that interesting. Beyond the fact that Steve Albini was over at my house, w00).
i know what it is i Do out in the world.. not just the promobitch networking stuff or the stagecrew-ing or being a crafter or any of that. Actually it IS networking, but on a different level. i am, in part, a synthesist - please see previous blog for references to Stand On Zanzibar. But i don't just abstract patterns from the data i collect; i make connections BASED on that data. Whoa. Hm. Not sure i've ever formulated that into words before.
So it would make sense to me to do that thru the blog somehow, but how? Oh hai Person A in Town 2; meet Person B in Town 5, you're both into X. Would that become, "met Person A for wi-fi'n'chai today, showed them Person B's website, promised to tweet about their project". Hrm? i suppose it could, but that seems so - soulless. Yet nor do i wish to fall into the "based on my past lives as an Atlantean shaman/princess/tamer of sea-unicorns, i realize that my True Path is to help beclouded souls out of their occlusion from the Ascended Way" - even though - o dear, i cannot say it - but i must - even though that one's closer to the truth.
This is why Twitter is my new favorite site TLA4Eva. Because no matter what is flitting thru my branez, i have to fit it into 140 characters or forever hold my peace. This post brought to you by #UNFollowFriday, the letter kratkoye and the numeral pi.
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