kick that habit man

So the staying off the computer exercise is having interesting results. i've been internet-dependent for about fifteen years now, which has become an expensive habit. i'm not missing that aspect of it. However, having set myself a 'job' that requires i be online - well, that part's a little more complicated.

To an extent, i'm doing what i did in Conneaut; getting everything written and ready to go at home, then uploading it all the next time i'm online. But with the lack of home internet, i find i have less use for the computer overall, or perhaps less interest. And when i'm not sitting in this chair, i'm - brace yourself - doing other things. Of such matters my w00t is made.

Which might sound like i am now ooh, productive; but one of the things i'm doing is reading books again so that mitigates it a bit. But i can look around and see tangible results. After two years, i am now settled in to my apartment and have it fairly well tweaked into a live/work space; at the same time (are you *sure* that moon's not in Gemini?!)(no, but its opposing it) i have lived in ways that were so far from optimal for working for so long i've forgotten how to be here to take advantage of it.

Another reason i'm on a computer-restricted diet right now is that i've had this notion kicking around for a while of picking up the life i left off living in the 70s. Or perhaps i mean living the life now that i envisioned i would one day live then. Of course i haven't built my own Art House out in the woods somewhere, but then again i've come to realize that unless it was in a woodland community of like-minded art people who i really get along with well, i wouldn't want to live that way now.

But in terms of being an Art Bitch a la CSS? Hrm, actually i'm sure they're hardly computer-free! Well, some synthesis, then. How *did* i live when i didn't have this little box plugged in between me and the world? It certainly wasn't boring then. Hell, a good many of my Adventures took place before i ever let this innocent little device take over my life. And the upside of all this is that i find i am connecting with the world again - not that i'd gotten disconnected, but i engaged less with the world around me. "No i never will neglect my world again." That's a line from the Tear Garden, who are the only thing i've been listening to other than 2112 and OK Computer for weeks (except for the occaisional dose of NPR). Another thing programming my headspace right now.

The important part about all this, tho, is that i *am* making things happen. Positive things. This is an experiment in programming the human biocomputer though i forget which circuit - the highest three always confused me a bit. Each seemed rather like the others; but i've also assumed that they were states one had to experience to really understand. i can say i feel i'm somewhere that isn't the first five which is really good enough for me. If i were online right now, i'd be googling a link to the Leary-Wilson Eight Circuit Model for readers who aren't familiar; but you're going to have to do that for yourselves, sisters and brothers.

As for me, i have to make use of the time i am allowing myself with this machine. i used to use it as a different sort of tool before the ubiquituous net infected it (me?). i'm working on reclaiming those ways now. Some people may be bemused to learn that i'm going backwards in operating systems to do so - i don't have the evil microsquash suite o'doom on here so i'm using Appleworks like i always did, and that has to run under OS9 'Classic'. My rant about that hasn't really changed - i found it a more productive way to use the computer than OSX for all its bells and whistles - but i'm acclimated now. (Insert snarky comment about my first experience with Vista tonight here).

And that, as they say in show business, means i'm outta here. i do check in nearly every day, so if there's anything you want to point my attention to, ping me direct. Hope your summer's off to as inspiring a start as i hope & feel mine is. Catch ya later, tweeps.