The Active Avoidance of Boredom

2011 Wrap-up

2012-01-01T19:19:00.004-05:00

Dear diary:

i know, i know. Believe me. And really, its not you - its me. i do think about you. A lot. Pretty often anyway. But our lives are just so different right now. i promise i'll work on it, okay? i haven't forgotten you, honest. i've just been so busy. You know how it is.

Yeah, its like that. i look at the huge-ass blog entries Amanda Palmer posts, a lot more often than i have time to read them, and wonder, how the *eff* does she manage?! Then i remember - she has Assistants, and does not need to do her own grocery shopping nor scrub the floors. But still.. i wonder how *my* life got so busy. i know i was lazy when i was young, but srsly. i wonder that i ever had hours to sit in coffeehouses doing - what did i do in coffeehouses before teh internetz? i remember when i always had a workbag by my side, stitching little whatevers. But before that, how did i ever fill the hours i spent at Arabica? No clue.

There's no real possibility i can catch things up here since my last entry, so i won't even try. i can tell you that today (the day i wrote this, already over a week ago) i slept late, walked the pupster (o hai blog, i gots a puppyboy), drank coffee, went to brunch w/Younger Daughter, did dishes, swept some floors (not all), cleaned the worst of the week's accumulated puppy mess, brought vending tubs in from the car, scrubbed the hallway rug, and straightened the Closet of Holding. Tonight i am going out to my regular weekly haunt, meeting my brother who is in from L.A., then maybe meeting grrlfriends at the punk bar. i think that's all.

Odds are i won't write anything here again until next year. i will be posting on my other blog in a bit; that seems the better place to talk about Solstice. Once again, i'll try to keep up with this better in the new year but - well, i'll try. i will be going to fulltime in the bird room within the next couple months: more work means more pay, which is good; but it will also mean even less time for things that Aren't Work. Hence teh promises, they shall not be made.

i hope this holiday season finds you well, content and surrounded by people you love and who love you. If you're reading this, count me among the latter. Merryhappy ChanaSolKwanzaMas, and i'll see you in *gasp* 2012.

Gamification: Who's Playing You?

2011-10-02T20:58:00.003-04:00

i've been reading an article from the July issue of Wired on feedback loops, and at the end it brings up the concept of 'gamification' - that we are more likely to respond or react to something if we perceive it as a game. Therefore, people will happily report on their whereabouts to anyone who cares to check (including the NSA, presumably) if it means they can earn points, badges, and mayorships. Likewise, we'll be glad to furnish market researchers the data they crave on what we watch, read, listen to and even think about, for exactly the same nebulous 'rewards'.

Interesting stuff, if a little creepy in its implication. But what stood out right away for me is that - these rewards don't work on me. i do check in occaisionally on foursquare, but only to give a boost to a business i support. i don't read recommendations or 'follow' my friends activity - seriously, unless i was trying to track down someone, i can't imagine wasting time that way. i've also never had any interest in any of the online games offered thru social networks.

Because ultimately, i just don't give a shit about badges or points. And this got me thinking about my attitude towards games in the 'real' world. i won't say i don't like games or playing - but i only like certain *kinds* of games. Games with a strategy, that require puzzle/problem solving; yup, i dig those. But simple competition, accumulating points - *yawn*. Want to put me to sleep? Try to teach me a card game (as a good friend found to his consternation). If you really want to turn me off, put in a competitive edge, winners and losers. Play for money and i'll elect to watch paint dry instead.

All this makes me a 'bad customer' for games or apps that use simple game strategy as encouragement. And *that* makes me wonder what i'd be a good customer for - and who is already finding ways of modding my behaviour to suit their marketing demands. Will i know it when i see it? Or will i find myself blindly playing along because its 'fun'? Just some things to think of on a rainy Sunday night..

Wassail and Hail the Autumn Moon

2011-09-26T23:42:00.004-04:00

OK, you know how crazy my life usually is, right? Well i swear the past couple weeks have been twice as busy as *that*. Maybe three times. Younger daughter moved up from Kent, elder daughter & beau moved out of their Tremont apt, into my living room, then out of my living rm and into small house, and my parents moved out of small house of - 15? - yrs occupancy into 1 bdrm apt. All in August.

Then, i performed as a statue for the Tremont Arts & Cultural Fair 2 days in a row, ran merch for Morticia's Chair as a pirate wench immediately after the second day's gig ended.. had one of those sewing side jobs i get every so often.. attended my monthly mantra meditation group.. landed a job costuming NINE GAY MEN (well, one at least is straight but playing gay) for a show opening Oct 7th.. got backed into in a parking lot and filed an insurance claim for the first time in my life.. remembered too late why i don't go to Oktoberfest.. took a Zumba class but have been too busy to get back for another.. wrote and led an equinox meditation for a small group of friends.. met an actress friend for coffee, went to a few birthday parties, attended a cookout (at the home of Michael Symon's personal assistant - sounds swank but we was punkrok bitchez together way back when) as well as a couple dinner parties, one w just me & my girls.. went on a promo pub crawl to try & book the Chair some shows.. AND I'M PRETTY SURE I'M FORGETTING SOME THINGS. That's how i've been.

Here. Have a picture of the planters i'm making in the evenings.

Maybe i'll be around here a little more this fall; right now, just for today, i have a wi-fi connection right from my apartment so am not dependent on the hours of a coffeehouse (not that i don't love me some coffeehouses). Then again, i don't really see the pace letting up any anytime soon; i'm spending this sudden bonus of internet time catching up on a million things i've been meaning to get around to but could never remember to do when i'm out somewhere. Taking the time to sit and do nothng but write blog posts seems wasteful, somehow, which is why you haven't seen one in a while.

To that end, may i recommend you look me up on Tumblr? Praise them, they support SMS udates; so brief thoughts, cellphonecam snaps, and interesting articles other peole have written are winding up there these days. Some more personal interaction is happening on Google+, and virtually all my random thoughts get tweeted when the mood strikes. Where i'm *not* spending much time anymore is Facebook - new changes there always seem to be for the worse, but its getting so intrusive and clunky as to be unusable. Tumblr will reblog there, so i'll be maintaining some presence for the time being; but i'm no longer actively following much of anyone. But if you really want to talk to me, those are the places i can be found.

Summer slowing

2011-08-05T20:31:00.002-04:00

Dear diary:

i know, i know. Every time i say i've had a quiet couple of weeks, it turns out to be anything but, right? This at least *feels* like i've not had so much going on, maybe because in the first half of this summer, i had TOO much happening all at once. On the other hand, i'm not sure just now if i even posted an entry two weeks ago. Which, if true, would indicate things haven't slacked up much at all.

Well, assuming i *did* write about Starwood (i can't find a saved draft, but i kinda think i did)[ah and oh - its on my magickal blog] then all i've done since is attend my very first burlesque event ever - which will hopefully not be my last! - where i performed as a glasswalker for the first and probably only time this year (strike that; i'm working a circus-theme gallery show in October).. performed as a living statue at the Taste of Tremont festival.. saw one of my favorite hardcore bands from 'back in the day'.. tentatively booked myself to DJ a local gallery's benefit, and even more tentatively to offer a workshop/lecture there early next year.. spent a panicky few hours watching reports out of Norway, where someone very close to me Just Happened to be on vacation.. finally got around to checking out the cyber cafe that opened nearby, which is likely where this will post from.. never did make it back to see an actual run of Miracle at Naples, which i did sound design for and got *great* reviews.. got my jam on at a local rock club one evening, hanging out w the owner/pal from back in the same day.. See? Nothing much at all.

Knowing my life, this is what you call the lull before the storm. Or perhaps the storm is now, and that's why this is languishing half-written on a jump drive; August has begun with a crash and a boom and a bash - well, ok, technically the bash isn't til tomorrow ;-) The crash and boom parts are personal, but suffice to say its being one of Those pivotal weekends where everything is going to be different afterwards. MANY things. So much so in fact that i think i'm going to cut my losses and go with this, as lame an entry as it is; if i don't, it'll be half-past the full moon before i get back to it and i'd like to keep something up more regularly here.

So thank you all, you few who tune in; i'll be back around once i find where i've landed in the universe next door. Ta for now, lovies.

Moon-a and the June-a and the spring-a

2011-06-14T21:45:00.004-04:00

Hola, dearies. i am so way overdue for an update here that i don't even recall when i last wrote. i could cheat and look, but where's the fun in that? Anyway, i strongly suspect i haven't updated since the Fairie Festival, because it has been That Kind of Month. And a half.

Its been the kind of month (and a half) where i've been really, incredibly busy with Fun Stuff; and then because i've gone and booked up nearly every free moment, i've had a bunch of Not Fun Stuff insist on cropping up too. But let's do the fun first. As i mentioned, i was the the Fairie Festival at the beginning of May, for my twelfth year in a row. This is one of the Most Fun Things Evar, in my book. This was my first year performing as a statue (or - ? i moved around some, there) as opposed to gypsy magician-dancer-person which i used to do with Not Ex-Enough Husband. Statuing there worked Differently than it does on the street; but i expect to do it again next year now that i know that. i was barely home and unpacked from there before i turned around and went off to be a statue at the Hessler Road Street Fair which has been going on for decades and was always my traditional kick-off to summer when i was a Coventry street kid with glitter on her face - a long, *long* time ago.

After that, we did Pop-Up Pearl as the Cultural Freethinkers Social Hall. For which we had some Grand Freakin Plans, you bet; however, various factors got in the way of Grand Freakin Plans so instead we made paper-plate masks for the kiddies. Somewhere along about then i started work on costuming the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival, who are doing Othello and Love's Labor's Lost this summer, neither of which i am particularly familiar with. Then i was a statue again for the Gordon Square Arts District Day, which is where i live, yay! so that i was able to get dressed and glittered for the gig and then WALK there pulling my milk crate and ugly green crushed velvet bedspread and tip mushroom behind me on my trusty wagon.

Did i say tip mushroom? Why yes i did. i've been being an elven/faerie sort of statue lately, so i decded a mushroom was a better thing to hold my tip bucket than the column i made for when i'm all white and be-toga-ed. This mushrump is a little battered after all the rain it had to sit in at Spoutwood but i think some red duct tape will soon have it right as - er yeah, well then. Anyway this is the final shroom: And here's a picture of me (in my necktie jacket) with the shroom en situ at the Fairie Festival: .

But, sadly, then there have also been Not Fun Things. Like getting popped with expired plates or for making an illegal left turn (in a rush to check *one more thrift store* in search of elusive costume pieces; i was in such a rush i didn't even notice the No Left Turn sign), or having Not Ex Enough drop a multi-page scrawl in my tip bucket at Hessler. Or having a Falling Out with a formerly-best friend who can't seem to understand that i has a crazy life and if sie wants to see me, that needs to be accomodated and respected.. it hasn't been, so now i guess we're Not Friends Anymore.

But the most Not Fun of all has been visiting my elder daughter, the Lady Eclipse, in the hospital. For nearly TWO WEEKS NOW and we still don't know why, really. Tho it is probably MS. Whatever it is, it has laid her *low*; she's too weak to do much of anything, including stand up or write her name, and while the steroids have restored some ability to speak, her speech is still very, noticably, slowed. This is all kinds of scary and freaky to a point where i won't likely be saying much more about it here, but i expect this is going to be A Factor in our lives for quite some time to come.

Anyway, several of the Fun Things listed above deserve their very own paragraph or three or six. But its a quarter til two in the morning and there are birdies who expect me to come feed and water them and clean out their cages in a handful of hours so i am not going to write those paragraphs now. Which maybe means i won't write them ever and if so, that's the way life is speeding up. But i will try to get them written at some point Soon. Just be glad i managed to get this much done, cuz i am, okay? Okay. Next time, dovelies.

High Holy Daze of April

2011-04-25T20:29:00.003-04:00

Hello dear readers. There was a big fat moon riding high in the sky when i wrote this, so that must mean its time for another update in my never-ending quest to avoid boredom. And how have i been managing to keep it at bay since last we spoke? Well. Let me see.

Over the past couple of weeks, i have: attended the 'Cleveland Confidential' speaking tour at the Rock'n'Roll Hall of Fame; lined up an accomplice a friend to go to the Fairie Festival with; attended a friends birthday, the kickoff party for Recycled Rainbow, and the Battery Park Wine Bar - all on the same night!; begun work on a new performance outfit; joined the Pretentious Tremont Artist's drawing group for an evening; took a field trip to the Natural History Museum (where i somehow did not see the naked mole rats, Woe); held TWO meetings on the Sekrit Project; had the flu; ~maybe~ signed on to submit an imaginary album cover for an upcoming show; paid an afternoon visit to both Daffodil Hill in Lakeview Cemetery AND Eggshelland, in company with my 'nephew' Pookie Bear; did NOT drink a cocktail named 'The Kevorkian' at a closing night cast party; began designing a skeleton marionette; and started tomatoes and peppers for the garden i don't have. This is why i keep a calendar: not only to know what's coming up, but to keep track of where i've been.

So where do i begin? Chronologically, i guess, and that means ArtWalk and the Pretentious Tremont Artists. This is a group of artists who meets every Friday evening at The Literary Club - which, despite its name, is a charming little-known little bar on a Tremont side street. i've modelled for them a couple of times but this was my first time on the other side of the sketch pad. Here's what i came up with, side by side with a photo of the actual model. Now, due to it being ArtWalk, i arrived late and didn't get an optimal seat; in fact, i had some trouble seeing her as clearly as i would have liked. Excuses excuses, i know. i didn't have to go with the quasi-cartoonish styling, but so much of what i've drawn in recent years has been exactly that.

i really want to get back to drawing and painting; i've had a definite mental block whose nature i'm Aware of, and have been meaning to join them for a while as a way of breaking this. Plus its a better use of a Friday evening than just bending my elbow at some other fine local establishment, a pasttime i've grown quite bored with in recent months. This isn't the first time i've drawn from life, but its the first in probably twenty years or more. i hope to make it back again soon.

The very next night was the double parties, as well as a memorial that i didn't manage to get to. Enough confusion working out who was going to be where when. i missed the early 'surprise' part of the birthday party, tho once i did catch up to them, i really *did* get custody of the yellow mushroom. Here's proof, for those on Facebook who thought maybe i'd slipped a gear: Instead, i went on to the kick-off party for Recycled Rainbow. RR isn't our regional burn; Scorched Nuts is that - but its a Burning Man-inspired event that's grown out of a series of household 'salons' that used to happen a few years back til they got too big for one house. i've only made it to one RR so far; every year i hope to catch another. i really like and am inspired by the work these folks do and wish i could be more involved. Then again, i sometimes think in terms of micro-regionalism: they're doing their thing over there in Lakewood, while i'm involved with the Tremont/Ohio City/Gordon Square axis. And as long as there's interest to support it, why not have Their Thing there and Our Thing here?

Our thing.. *giggle*. i'm still not quite ready to spill on the Sekrit Project, maybe next blog. It IS going to be a Real Thing, even if only "just for one day". Funny how Bowie and Heroes/Helden have been weaving thru my life as a theme these past few weeks. Anway, multiple meetings should be a hint: this one's gonna be Coolest Thing Yet, or at least the most time- and energy-consuming!

Next up, Cleveland Confidential. The tour's wrapped up now, so if you didn't get a chance to see it, well, the Rock Hall is supposed to make the livestream available as a podcast, so check their website. That it happened at the Rock Hall was - kinda mind-blowing. If you don't know what i'm talking about, four guys from the earliest days of punk rock here in Cletown all have books out, and went on a speaking tour in support of them. Those four are Bob Whoozeewhasis from the Human Switchboard, Mike Hudson from The Pagans, Cheetah Chrome from the Dead Boys, and David Thomas from Pere Ubu. If you know ANYTHING about punk rock, you know at least one or two of those names.

Tickets were available by reservation only, despite being free; i was really surprised they didn't add a second show here in their freakin' home town. It was something of an Old Home Night down there, tho there were a number of faces i might have thought to see that either couldn't be there or just weren't, for whatever reason. But it was quite the time. i'm still trying to wrap my head around the concept of these four being at the freaking ROCK HALL, because... aww splutter mutter! i'm just a wee bit younger and so wasn't physically around when they began their careers, but old enough to have followed them vicariously through the local free papers.

Yes, once upon a time, there were many free weeklies here in town, not just the Scene; and Scene was a far, far cry from the paper you see now. Those weeklies had an immense influence on me; they're pretty much how and why i got into punk. And not just the papers, but one person who wrote for them, specifically, Peter Laughner. At the age of fourteen, a weird, artsy-hippie outside recently transplanted from a college town with a notorious radical past (Kent State, hello?), i was perfectly primed to soak up every single word i could find from someone who was nearly a decade further down that particular path. i could (and have) written much more about this but there isn't time nor space here. Suffice to say this was something more than just a trip down Memory Lane for me, tho i'd have to put more thought into it before i could say just what, and i'm too tired/too busy for that.

In fact, i've been so busy that i never finished this post and now its already time for the next one. Ai chihuahua! So let's try to wrap this up in short order. Eggshelland: a springtime tradition that's been around as long a i have, give or take a year. One of those odd little local 'roadside attractions'. i think i first saw it after we moved to Clevo in 1970; i know for sure i took my kids when they were small. Now that they're grown, it's time to share with a new generation: Pookie Bear.

Pookie and his mom, my friend Sue, seen here surrounded by a few shots of this year's display. Yes, those are all real egg shells. Every one painted with enamel paint and stuck on a peg according to a grid pattern. Pookie, sadly, was much more impressed with the rope keeping patrons on the sidewalk, and the clasp on his stroller seatbelt. Ah well, maybe next year.

And with that, its now time for yet ANOTHER update. Which i haven't written yet. Let's get this posted and i'll see you again as soon as i can.

skirt the full circle

2011-04-01T16:56:00.005-04:00

Dear diary -

These past couple weeks i had the centerpiece exhibit for the March ArtWalk at Doubting Thomas gallery; saw Easy Action and Cleveland Psych-Out with the Cynics and Rainy Day Saints; did the sound design for the first production of the 2011 season for convergence-continuum; put in an application for Pop-Up Pearl; celebrated Ostara with old friends i seldom see; had a lovely dinner with *other* old friends i see even less as they live in Ontario; walked downtown to see the St Patrick's Day parade; attended the world premiere screening of Long Way to Oblivion, a short feature written, shot, and based in Cleveland; and what else. Oh yeah. Got a year older and threw myself a party. You know, a typical few weeks in the life of a wolfkitten.

i've already written about the sound design in my last entry, seeing friends and bands is just what it sounds like, and getting old is a drag, and not in the fabulous lime-green false eyelashes sense either. i am really glad to have been invited to see the Canadians when they were in town, as One, they're just wonderful, fun, artsy people; and Two, it was really lovely and affirming to share food and wine and conversation with a group of folks who are all, in one way or another, continuing to live authentic and artistic lives in the face of a society that does not actively encourage either one.

What i really want to tell you about, tho, is the piece i did for the show at D.T. I'm probably more proud of the concept than i am the execution - not that it turned out badly; just that it didn't quite live up to the picture i had in my head, but then, when does art ever do that? The theme of the show was Full Circle, and i spent a couple weeks after agreeing to do it wracking my brain for something that would fit that idea.

What i came up with was first, the Wheel of the Year: the pagan concept of the turning of the seasons as a circle that we move through. But how to depict it? It would have to be shown in a circular format, obviously; however, i knew i wasn't likely to stretch a canvas into anything like a round shape. Finally, inspiration! i would make a circle skirt, of course, of course. And so i did.

It began as a plain white flannel sheet from the thrift store, a sketch, and a pattern (Simplicity 3847). Once the four panels were cut, i made a loose sketch on the material, and then the fun began. Originally, i wanted to do it all in batik, but batik is messy, i don't own a tjanting (batiking tool), and of course i'd left myself not quite enough time to work on it properly. Of course. Over the course of a couple days, i did get some rough wax outlines painted on. i'd purchased dye to use, but it wasn't turning out as i'd like so i opted for (shh - don't tell) food coloring instead. Which means the garment is likely NOT washable but its Art, right?

i'd found some tiny applicator bottles at Pat Catan's and used those to squirt on red, yellow, green, blue and black (that last being thinned acrylic). i know i had a couple shots of the panels drying on my porch that i want to put here, but now i can't find them to save my life. Instead i do have two pics of more-or-less completed panels:

Spring-summer first, then fall-winter.

The wax contained the colors somewhat, but there was more bleeding than i'd anticipated, so i had to let each color dry thoroughly before adding the next. Once everything was dyed, i had to remove the wax by ironing the panels between pages of newsprint - pages and pages and pages. i should have taken a shot of the mess this made of my workroom; i was ankle-deep in wax-soaked ad supplements by the time i was done!

After that, it was pretty simple to assemble the skirt - yes, including a zipper, to the surprise of some at the show. You can't see it here, but i used silver thread to hem it. Each panel has sequins or glitter embellishing some part of the design, and the pagan names for the eight holidays (solstices and equinoxes, plus the four 'cross-quarter days' that fall midway between them) written in gold metallic pen around the waistband. The piece will probably go up in my Etsy shop soon, cuz what else am i going to do with it?

And here - ta-da! - is the finished product en situ:

the upper edge wasn't tacked down enough to keep it from sagging, hence the ruffled look; but i really like the way it was surrounded by my friend Natalia's photos, all printed on round media just for this show. Here's a picture of the curator, Chelsie, in her fabulous outfit at the closing party.

Chelsie has a small part in Long Way to Oblivion, as do a number of my friends. The writer/director, Shawn Mishak, was the first person to ask me to submit something for a show back when i'd first returned to Cleveland in 2006; he hosted the long-running open mic at Edison's that was part of my weekly routine for years, and has been a true and supportive friend ever since i met him. The camerman/director of photography, Noel Maitland, was part of the technical crew at convergence when i first started, and (along with our late and much-missed friend brin) was one of the people to show me the basic ropes of sound design - so not only was there no WAY i was not going to attend their premiere, it all kind of comes - wait for it - Full Circle, don't you think?

And on that note, i better duck and run before you can reload. i promise i'll ~*try*~ to get another entry up mid-month, but April is teh crazeh tiem for me. i've already started prepping for the Fairie Festival that happens at the end of the month, and that is going to eat my time and my brain in a major way. Plus i modeled for the Pretentious Tremont Artistes group tonight, running lights for Morticia's Chair at the end of the month, costuming the next convergence production (and making puppets. PUPPETS!) and pulling together a one-day arts and community center prototype for Pop-Up Pearl so-o.. don't expect me to touch down anytime soon. But i promise i'll check in here when i do. Ta lovies!

The Alchemy of Sound Design

2011-03-11T01:15:00.001-05:00

i've been meaning to put up a post for a while on the process of sound design, and now - while i'm in the middle of one, yet stalled - seems as good a time to do it as any (i'm stalled temporarily because the internet is down at the coffeeshop and i need to download files). Designing sound just might be my favorite thing to do for the theater, altho costuming runs a close second. As i tweeted last night, sound design is like DJ-ing - only different.

The process of putting together the soundscape for a play begins at the very first read-through. Listening to the actors go through the script, even at this early stage, can give you some ideas of where emphasis should fall, and what sort. Usually at this point, the only notes i make are emotional states: 'tense', 'mysterious', 'sexy'. However, if a particular song comes to mind, i'll put that down too, tho perhaps not right in the margins (ProTip: make notes in pencil!).

The next step is finding a cornerstone piece. Maybe this is suggested by a particular line that reminds me of a lyric; maybe it will come from a movie i've recently watched, or a CD i've been rocking lately. Quite possibly the director will have some suggestions, for types of tracks if not particular pieces. Whatever the track, it will sum up the overall mood of the play for me. Once i have this defining piece, the rest of the tracks i use will largely be grouped around it. Its not impossible that my cornerstone piece may not even get used in the play itself, altho if not it probably *will* show up in the pre- or post-show music.

For the play i'm working on now, the cornerstone was a piece by Brian Eno (which hm, come to think of it - i haven't found a place for it yet), 'Lantern Marsh'. Brian Eno leads me naturally to Robert Fripp, and i found a CD at the library i hadn't heard before, "That Which Passes". David Bowie associates with both of them, and Phillip Glass created a symphony based on the album "Low", which Bowie and Eno did together. 'Low' was recorded during Bowie's 'Berlin period', and Berlin suggests one of my favorite movies, "Wings of Desire" - and so on.

Now, this particular play revolves around the idea of instant media celebrities, so the director wanted to incorporate some NPR-style soundscapes. So while my overall mood was being created by the Bowie/Fripp/Eno/Berlin axis, a secondary thematic current has to be built around the notion of documentary soundtracks: lots of ambient soundscapes and sound effects. Often a script will call for particular sounds and even songs - i'm less happy when the playwright includes specific songs in the script, because i seldom agree with their tastes and choices, but you work with it. i found a site that offered free themes for use in podcasts, and was able to grab some things from there for the news aspect; other online sites provide canned audience reactions.

As you might expect, an NPR-type jazz intro theme doesn't in the *least* blend with the Teutonic dark ambient soundscape. This is good. Now, we can heighten the contrast between the fakely-cheerful media gloss on a subject, and the bleak discordance the subject is actually experiencing inside - a discordance that will become increasingly apparent as the flow of the narrative reveals itself.

This brings me back to the similarities with DJing. When i did college radio, i always preferred the late night slots, so that i could stretch out and put together hour-long sets if the mood was right. i would program based on my own mood, of course, but my mood was shaped by the group around me (the strange little tribe that called itself Thee Dark Lodge) - and i would begin to discover during those halcyon nights just how much an overall mood might pervade a scene, a town, a region. i would tap into an emotional state and program pieces that matched that state - which, in turn, would further SHAPE that state for anyone who happened to be tuned in to that night's show.

With sound design, i'm still shaping the flow of emotional reaction in my audience, although i only carry part of the responsibility for that influence. The actors themselves have the bulk of it; the lights, costume, set and actions contribute as well. Ideally, my sound design choices will work with the action onstage, serving functionally as an amplifier to what's being presented. Its a well-known cliche that movie music will clue you in to the action: Uh oh, here comes the scary part! Scoring for a play serves exactly the same function. Music and sound can indicate a mood, but they can also indicate a place – which may be somewhere different from where the action is occurring – a time (likewise) – or a particular character. You probably won’t use a character theme for every entrance, but if you use it a couple times, then that music can ‘refer’ to the character even if they’re offstage.

If you’re curious how this all comes together, “Valparaiso” by Don DeLillo opens Friday, March 18th at convergence-continuum. Doors at 7:30, curtain at 8:00 pm. Want to make a night of it? The Tremont TapHouse is just down the street, and a number of other fine restaurants like Properity, Bac, and Grumpy’s are right around the corner. And sadly, i am not getting kickbacks from any of them, i just like to promote good LOCAL entertainment. If i don’t see you there, i’ll catch you back here sometime real soon!

triple theater thing

2011-02-25T15:44:00.005-05:00

Dear blog, i've been bad ("Monster hospital, would you please release me?"). i skipped the new moon update and am late with this one; oh well. i notice how i've been inundated with requests for the latest installment, a-HRM! On the other hand, this means i have an entire month of goings-on to catch you up on this time.

So what have i been up to? Theater benefits, mostly; or so it seems. Guess it's the season for them! The first of these was stage-managing a benefit performance for Cleveland Shakespeare Festival at the lovely old Brooks Theater of the Cleveland Playhouse. If you know anything about theater in this town at *all* you likely have a soft spot for the Brooks; i know i do. That it may become one more monster hospital parking lot Real Soon Now is simply heartbreaking. Some of my first exposure to theater outside a college milieu was at the Brooks; both my children have had pieces read there when they were at Cleveland School of the Arts. Its a quaint little brick box with faux-medieval touches - which happen to include an unheated booth. Did i mention this show was in January? Brr! But getting to wander a wee bit in the basement of the Playhouse - the Playhouse, yo!! - during set strike made it almost worth it. i also came a little too close to breaking my finger during that strike by dropping a door onto it (a framed door, set into a bit of prop wall, with supporting wings). i probably did put a hairline crack in the bone but wtf, its not hurting now.

Next up was Street Beat! the annual benefit for Near West Theater, who i had not worked with before. This is their 30th year, i believe, and they clearly are both established and - by the shoestring standards i'm used to - moneyed. Their benefit was held at Trinity Cathedral downtown; another survival from the days when Cleveland was mentioned in the same breath as New York and Chicago. i happen to have another soft spot for neo-Gothic cathedrals, having spent quite a few happy childhood hours in one (Church of the Saviour in Cleveland Hts - but that's another story). As their theme was a street carnival, they hired me to perform as a statue, reprising my Snow Queen outfit from Yuletide (late-breaking addition: a photo of me at the benefit!). They had really done up the interior, with street lights, scaffolding, recorded construction and traffic noises, and an Emcee dressed as a cop.

i was strategically placed near the entrance so i had a good view of everything. As always seems to happen, when i first get up to perform, i have a few moments when i think, i'm not going to be able to do this. My knees hurt, i'm not standing right, this outfit is way too hot. And as usual in about ten minutes i got into Statue Mode, where i apparently just sort of tune out a certain amount of body awareness; and i was fine. i'm not sure if i'm getting 'better' at it, but this was the first time i've had someone stand so close i was actually poking them with my hand, and they didn't seem to realize it. This happened two or three times that night. i wonder if i had given them an actual poke or pinch, would they have jumped out of their skin?

The best part of the evening for me - well, aside from the to-die-for little tarts filled with almond creme - was getting to speak with one of the directors of the Ingenuity Festival. i'd already pretty well made up my mind to apply as a performer there this year, but talking with him helped me shape a concept a little more clearly. i think i can work something out that i can use there and at the Fairie Festival - oh, did i mention i'll be performing there as a statue this year as well? Yep, got accepted. Awesomesauce with those magnificent tarts on top. You'll be hearing more about that, never you fear. Incidentally, this photo of Spoutwood's own Greenman with my pals Frenchy & The Punk (formerly the Gypsy Nomads) comes from The Painting Queen, coz its WAY better than any of the ones i've taken.

Then finally we had Zombie Prom, the fourth annual Liminis benefit bash. Isn't that logo lovely? Our own Jim Smith did that. It seems there's a musical by the same name; but as a resolutely NON-musical theater, none of us knew anything about that. The space was decorated as, i guess, for prom; since my BFF and i were stoner kids, we opted to buy some more 'lumbos rather than spend the cash on going as Carrie (replete with pigs blood) and her beau, as was our original plan; so i don't actually know what prom looks like. Except i can guess it probably never has body parts dangling from the ceiling like ours did - !

i'm not a big fan of the whole zombie thing; somehow i just don't Get It. Which maybe explains why i waited til not quite a week before to go shopping for a prom dress. Naturally, in that short a time, i wasn't able to find anything remotely suitable (and in my size). i did, however, find a lovely blue satin bedsheet for under three dollars. Well then, i guess i'm making a dress - ! Fortunately, i have a pattern i'd even made before that is simple and quick to assemble. Ah, but the imp of the perverse was not content with quick and simple. As i was finishing basic assembly, there came an imply whispering in my ear. "This dress isn't turning out half bad," it said. "Be a shame to get stage blood all over it".

Well, that imp might be perverse, but it happened to be on my side, this time. It reminded me that at least one kind of zombie is created by voodoo - and who do voodoo but a Creole priestess? Now as it happens, i've done a bit of research into the ways of the Loa and their priests and priestesses; so not only did i know just what to wear, i was able to assemble a costume right from my very own wardrobe. Sadly, however, not too many *other* people there knew much about Voudon; so i got mistaken for a gypsy more than once (but when is a gypsy ever dressed all in white, with dreadlocks? *sigh* These people). Maybe i should have brought cornmeal and drawn veves on the floor; i considered it. Or marked a small bottle as 'rum' and gone around spraying mouthfuls onto things. Somehow, tho, i don't think our director would have appreciated either one, authentic behaviours tho they might have been.

So that, gentle readers, is how i've whiled away the snow-filled hours this past dark month. Which is getting brighter! Here's a lovely picture of my outdoor guardian gnome taking in some sun after a recent crazy snowfall. i'm already busy busy busy with projects for these last few weeks of winter: sound design for the season opener, holding a sustainability salon, an art project for next month's ArtWalk that is totally *me*, and more. But i'll tell you all about that next time, so be sure to stop back when the moon is new!

triple theater threat

2011-01-24T16:59:00.001-05:00

Wow. Two weeks already? Well, the moon looked pretty full last night, so i guess its time for - (dun duh DUH) An Update. Rather a happy exercise, as it happens, since it gives me a way of Keeping Track. Ah, and welcome to the blog post of Theater Benefits and Pointless Capitalization, it seems!

Its funny, every time i sit down to write one of these, my first thought is, 'Well, i didn't do much this time'. Then i go look at my calendar. As always, i wind up with a full paragraph of do-ings. This week? No different. So - onward!

Over the course of the past two weeks, i've attended a couple meetings for the upcoming benefit at the Liminis, signed on to stage-manage the benefit for the Cleveland Shakespeare Festival and to do sound design for the first convergence production of the year, re-scheduled my audition for the benefit for Near West Theater, ordered garden catalogs (none of which have yet arrived, grr), had another 'tweet-up' with my new/old friend, took down my tree, went to the Capitol Theater for the first time, and spent a lot of time curled in bed watching DVDs. i've also shifted my work schedule so that, in theory, i will have two days off in a row. It hasn't quite happened yet, as i keep getting called in to do things on a day off; but i'm hopeful.

By the time the next blog goes up, we'll have made a formal announcement about this year's Liminis benefit. Since that hasn't happened yet, all i can say is: BRRAAAIIIINNNNSSZS. i am busy wracking mine in an attempt to secure suitable entertainment. It's tough, because we're going up against both RAMONESMANIA and the Brite Winter Fest; but i'll get it done somehow. As for the Near West benefit, i'll probably be reprising my Snow Queen character; i've never 'auditioned' as a statue before so i'm not quite sure how that will go. i guess what it really means is, i need to put together a promotional packet for myself, pronto.

What i'm really excited about tho, is working the CleveShakes benefit. i'm not sure which is cooler here: that i got to learn how to run two new programs (i run sound AND lights on this one), or that i get to crew a performance at the Brooks Theater! Some of my first theater memories are there. Some of my first exposure to Shakespeare happened there - although i realized this morning that my *first* Shakespeare memory is also my "born in a trunk" moment, struggling to stay awake and watch my dad perform in a student production at Kent State while my mom worked box office.

Curiously, he was playing one of the witches in "Macbeth", a play that theater people can be superstitious about, considering it 'cursed'.. and the play we're doing for the benefit, "Scenery" revolves around the backstage action in a theatrical couple's dressing room on opening night - including the mysterious gift of a copy of "Macbeth". i love it when things come full circle like that.

And that, dear friends, is about all there is to report this time out. i've been pretty spectacularly UNcreative; i got as far as purchasing a new sketchbook but haven't even sharpened the pencils that i bought with it yet. My thought is to drop in on one of the Friday night open life drawing sessions over at the Literary while i still have some Friday evenings open - well, *when* i have one open again, which won't be til February. And sometime in the next couple weeks i've got to create a piece for the spring show at Doubting Thomas; sadly, i as yet have NO idea what that will be.

Finally, i have to start building up my stock for the Fairie Festival in May - assuming i get accepted back, of course; but as this will be my twelfth year vending if i do, i'm gambling on it. Still waiting to hear if they also will accept me as a living statue; if so, i'll have to get busy and start creating a faerie costume for myself, won't that be a burden! But let's not get too far ahead. We're at the coldest point of the year right now, so i am going to go bake some coffeecake for a potluck brunch and then maybe climb back into bed to get warm til its done. See you in two weeks!

End is but a new Begin

2011-01-10T15:56:00.005-05:00

Y helo thar, readers. Hop enue yar. Seems like Lady Moon spun thru these past two weeks at double time; but then, i was late on the last post and there was that stretch of holiday craziness to get through, now mercifully over. i think the plan is to sum up what i did, but do i even know? i suppose that i do, and now that i gather my wits, there really *wasn't* very much since the last post. Which should make for quick disposal. Oh dear, that never bodes well, when i think that - !

There was the end of 2010 and the beginning of this year more than anything, of course. New Year's Eve always a juggle of more invitations and obligations than i can possibly keep. There's the dress i decided to make at the last minute, which, once completed, i didn't wear. There was the stop at Ed's, and the party where i ended the night, and a midnight between them spent quietly in pleasant company. There was, at last, family xmas: an overshot roadtrip to pick up younger daughter, dinner at the folks, gifts. There was a serendipituous tweetup with a woman likely to become a regular partner in crime; and a benefit to cover medical expenses for the Perfect Guy. And finally, the con-con holiday hangover party combined with (to my knowledge) first-ever company meeting to kick off our tenth season.

i didn't do much crafting, except for making these silly little Santa candy dishes. These were inspired by an old family photo my brother had put up - can you spot the original behind our fabulous 70s outfits and Mom's groovy pigtails? Hint:Its on top of the piano. It may yet reside in a box at my folks; they haven't broken out the full compliment of xmas goodies in years. i'm not sure my grrlinas Got It, but what the heck, i had fun.

Hopefully they appreciated the legwarmers made from recycled sweaters a bit more. Those, of course, i didn't think to take pictures of cuz i'm smart like that. Not sure if i found the idea on Instructables or, more likely, Burda Style. There WILL be more of these, because legwarmers possess teh awesome, and repurposed clothing automatically doubles that quotient. You can cruise my Etsy shop in about a month, bet you'll find some. Of course you can cruise it right now and find other things - go on, i'll wait.

See, wasn't that fun? =} Oh, speaking of Etsy reminds me i also put in my application to vend at The Fairie Festival in May. OK, somewhere i have a picture of me at my cart last year which i wanted to use, but i can't find it ::gnar:: So here's a pic of the Maypole instead. This is simply The. Coolest. Event. EVAR. Its so cool i put in a dual application this year, as vendor and performer both - hoping i can come do my statue thing, and put an assistant in charge of my cart. And speaking of *that* reminds me i also applied to perform as a statue at a benefit for Near West Theater next month. i have an audition in a couple weeks which will be amusing i think; i'm going to show up, stand there and ignore them.

And oh dear, i did do even more than i thought at first; because i seem to have signed on as Stage Manager for Cleveland Shakespeare's benefit which i will probably be completely immersed in by the time my next update is due. While i ~could~ have said no, i couldn't really, as CleveShakes may not solely be the brainchild of my boss but is pretty damn close; but its also at the Playhouse and yes, thank you, i'll take a resume credit there in exchange for the last two weekends in January.

There's not a lot to say about family xmas except OMG LOOK AT THIS DOLL , shown here posing with Erl the Stuffed Dog. Elder daughter has officially put her Maa's crafting ability to shame. Younger daughter also received a doll; *hers* is a stuffed - and bearded! - version of The Snuggler. i don't know why; young people have ways different from our own. My dollie has yet to tell me what she'd like to weat instead of a scarf - when she does, i'll make it for her.

i suppose NYE gets a paragraph or two as well. i mentioned making a dress - i'll find some excuse to wear it somewhere, don't know where yet tho. When i bought the material, the clerk at JoAnn's warned me i'd have glitter everywhere. My inner drag queen rejoiced, but i'll tell ya what, she wasn't kidding. Its a lovely blue velour w/silver glitter crescents and starbursts, that leaves a shimmering slug trail behind it anywhere i would have or will wear it. And where did i go, in the big blue satin shirt i wore instead - ?

My first stop was at Edison's, of course. Morticia's Chair were already playing when i arrived, so i didn't really get to say hi to the guys in the band. The place looked great, all done up in black and white tinsel rope, and was starting to fill with people, but i couldn't stay. i've spent, i think, the last three or four New Year's Eve's there and that's plenty. i'd accepted an invite to a party with friends from the Clepunk crowd and was headed there; but i made a stop along the way and ushered in the new year there, listening to WCSB and fireworks going off in the neighborhood. Might have stayed if i hadn't promised the hostess, who had made up a sweet little crash space just for me, complete with a ragdoll. That was a lovely time as well, where i also would have stayed longer if the birdies didn't require my presence the next morning.

One last thing i did and then its on to what i will be doing.. i attended a benefit at the Happy Dog for Dave P from the Very Knees, who had to deal with an unpleasant attendee at his own New Years party and wound up with a broken arm for his trouble :-( Jovana from Hot Cha Cha said he's been crowned King of Cleveland and i don't know about that but it could be true. If you've ever wandered downstairs to This Way Out during a show at the Beachland, you've probably talked to Dave. Not sure if the Hot Cha Cha grrls organized the benefit for him but it sure was a crazy turnout.

This leads into what i will be doing nicely, as for a while i've been talking about having an All Grrl's Night Out. i got the bright idea to talk to Jovana about it and now it kinda has to happen. Hoping to make it at the end of February; there will be MUCH more - maybe even a special separate post! - as soon as i get it on its feet. Of course, i will also be organizing the convergence annual benefit event to happen in mid-February, so there is not going to be anything like 'down time' in my life just because the temps are in the teens and no one wants to go out and do anything in this weather. Speaking of this weather, here's a lovely photo i took off my porch during a recent snowfall: .
Seriously, this is right in the city, just a couple miles from the center of downtown Cleveland. Ain't it sumthin'?

Alright kids, time to go stir the soup. See you at the full moon..

wrap'n'roll it..

2010-12-31T15:43:00.001-05:00

O i know i should be writing, i'm past due by my own schedule for a post. But the past two weeks have been such exhausting fun all i want to do is sit here. Maybe even watch some movin' pitchers in that funny squawking box in the other room - and if i want *that*, gentle reader, you may know that i am tired indeed, for such things hold but little amusement for me as a rule.

What is it i have done since last i posted, to weary me so? If one can but believe it, i can scarce recall; i know only that it has been the holidays, and there have been many parties, and it seems i attended them all. Thereby at last turning me into one of the Bronte sisters, apparently. Next thing you know i shall take to my bed in the garrett, not to rise til spring or perhaps at all; the consumption having gotten me at the last.

Well a well, then, if that be not it.. then i suppose i spent four nights a week in the most horrendously pink dress i ever sewed (what was i thinking at the time?!), my hair in pigtails, belting out "Sow Took the Measles" in my best bad country drawl. i - oh! - i did two craft shows, my first in months. i attended two friend's holiday parties, another friend's 40th birthday bash, and a gathering of Clepunks/former WCSB jocks at Prosperity Social Club. i sat, freezing, on my porch to watch the lunar eclipse, got my picture taken on Hovaclause's lap, went caroling on Xmas Eve, had an open house (with full turkey dinner) at Chez Wufkitn on the 25th, got wow-ed at the Project "R" DVD release party at the Center for Rock Research, and finally saw the greatest Xmas band in the world, Missile Toe. And it hasn't even *been* Christmas with my family, yet. i guess maybe i have good reason to be tired.

i don't know if i need to break those down much further. i'd like to shift, in the hopefully-near future, to doing one 'wrap-up' post like this, and then giving the details in smaller posts made every other day or so; but that won't really work til i have full, regular internet access again. And honestly, i don't know if i have the time to keep up with that much blogging, although as my tendency is to write one big SPLAT of a post i'm hoping i can still do that then edit it into bite-sized pieces.

i also am likely going to start a second blog. Yes, i know, i was just saying i don't have time enough for this one - what, am i crazy? Well yes, but never mind all that. i feel like i'm beginning to get a focus with this one, something i lacked when i began it. i want the second blog as a place to put my more metaphysical ramblings, which will likely happen much more sporadically; and keep this one as an outlet for my art/craft/theater/performing etc activities.

And so with that, my small but cherished band of faithful readers, i shall take my leave of you, ne'er to be seen again until Father Kronos has once again passed away and been replaced by his newborn child-self - which is to say next year, for the less mythically-minded amongst you. May your days be merry and your toes be warm, and i shall see you in 2011!

wrap'n'roll it..

2010-12-31T15:43:00.000-05:00

warm up winter

2010-12-07T15:19:00.005-05:00

Wow. Time for another update already? Well, its a dark moon, or was on Sunday, so i guess it is. As usual, its been a crazy-busy two weeks. Since the last time we talked, i created a fabulous Astarte costume, learned to play the Polish National Anthem on my accordian, got called in to consult on sending on an unquiet ghost, quit smoking, found another of the elf figurines i collect, had a holiday dinner at elder daughter's house, spent a lovely evening catching up with my sister-in-lawless, realized a childhood dream of becoming part of the Xmas display in the window of Higbee's downtown, lost my voice just in time for opening night, and started to decorate the apartment for Yule. That seems like maybe a smaller list than last time but i assure you, i've been plenty busy.

First, Astarte.
She appears as a character in the original play we're producing this holiday season at the Liminis: "Aporkalypse!. Now as it happens, i'm a bit familiar with historical Astarte, who was represented as looking like this:
which wouldn't exactly work for us here. Not that we've any strictures against nudity. If anything, the combination of long skirts and snakes would have made some of her choreography difficult. So i opted for something more bellydancer-ish (a choli top and baggy pants) but in gold lamé. Gold cuz its all middle-eastern yanno *cough*. The result, which i do not yet have a picture of, is rather a drag version of Princess Jasmine, especially since her headpiece is constructed out of cheap glitter xmas ornaments:
Oh, i had fun making that. i really wanted to get a tree-topper spire thing to put up above the star, but she apparently crawls in between one actor's legs at one point, so no spiky headwear. Alas.

This same play is why i learned the Polish National Anthem, as well as a little ditty called "Sow Took the Measles". Aporkalypse was written by local playwright Chris Johnston, with the convergence crew in mind. And the actress who would have originally played the mother figure can pick out a basic tune on accordion, so once again my instrument was cast and not me - how does this keep happening? However, she had to decline the role due to other commitments, and the actress who replaced her does NOT play. No problem: Chris just re-wrote the scene to incorporate two new cameo characters who come carolling - and just like that, in addition to costuming i was suddenly IN the play as well, with lines and everything! (The other caroller is played by my friend Joe, who really *knows* how to play). Sadly, i also caught my mother's cold on Thanksgiving, which became laryngitis the night before we opened. i only have five lines, so i stayed silent right up until we went on and somehow managed to croak them out at an audible level - but the general consensus is i had tranny-man voice.

The ghost is less interesting a tale than it seems, at least from my perspective. A dear friend's neighbor passed away, and he felt the spirit was still wandering their duplex. i wasn't able to sense it in the short time i had, and i've been assured he's since gone on to wherever such spirits go. i've never tried to lay an unquiet ghost and don't really know what i would do or have done had i Sensed him. Circumstances did not allow me the time to tune in and find the spontaneously 'right' course of action i'd hope to have chosen, so whether i can or could have done anything remains unanswered.

The elf figurine was a wonderfully lucky stumble that i probably should not have splurged on, but couldn't resist. i don't know anything about these figures other than they come in several sizes, they're almost always seated, almost always holding or playing an instrument, and they appear to be from the early-mid 60s. There's no markings of any kind to help identify them, and googling 'elf figure' is too vague to be useful. i have half a dozen or so more of them, but its been nearly five years since i ran across the last - which is the rare variant seen in the background here.

Most of the ones i own are in storage with my beloved gnomes, so i'm not quite sure how many i even have - about six small ones, i think, another medium seated one like the one i just found, the unusual standing elf, and the prize of the collection, a large seated elf in luxuriant gold-trimmed red velvet.

And speaking of velvet..
Certainly the high point of the last two weeks was appearing at the lighting ceremony downtown as the Snow Queen. As you may know, i perform as a living statue. A month or so back, i saw an ad for the lighting ceremony and had the brainstorm that i could perform and stay WARM if i had a nice cloak! So in the spare moments i had not costuming the play, i made myself a lined white (ok, panné) velvet cloak. With a thrift-store blanket sandwiched in the middle; the cloak turned out to be as warm as a coat.

The dress was left over from the bridal veil job i did a few weeks back: i had to detach the bodice from the skirt, because while the skirt fit, that tiny bodice was never going around my giant earth-mama bosom. If i do this again, i'll do a better job with the bodice than just pinning it to a blouse, but i only had a little time to get it together. Of course the piece that really drew it all together was the crown:
And you thought i had fun making Astarte's headpiece! i want to try my hand at some more crowns in the future, possibly for the Fairie Festival next spring (*if* i get on the stick and get my application in, eep!) Since part of the time i was performing i was out on Public Square, i did encounter a higher-than-normal volume of street people. One of whom snarked in passing that my outfit must have cost a fortune - well, if i'd bought the dress new he'd be right; but in fact the whole thing was put together for under fifty bucks.

The really cool part, tho, was getting to be in the front window of Positively Cleveland, which occupies the space that was once home to Higbee's Department Store. If that name sounds vaguely familiar to non-Clevelanders, its because that exact same window is the one the kids have their noses pressed to at the start of "A Christmas Story". The Santa scene was shot on the ground floor, when the store fixtures were all still there - sadly, much of its gone now; although the panelling still exists.

That morning, i'd been upstairs in the Silver Grille, a name that conjures magical memories for anyone who grew up here. The Silver Grille was the fine dining restaurant up on the tenth floor. i'm not exactly sure when Higbee's was built, perhaps early-mid 30s? But its a great example of Art Deco design, and the tenth floor is still intact. One rides up the same classic old elevators and there you are.. i didn't walk around the corner only because i wanted to believe that if i had, i would've ALSO found the Twigbee Shoppe, Bruce the Spruce, and whatever magical winter wonderland the display department had put together that year.

The restaurant is closed now, but the room is available to the neighboring Ritz-Carlton for special occassions. My friend at Positively Cleveland had put together a brunch there that morning where people could come up and revisit memories of Christmases past. There was no appearance by Mr. Jingeling - another local tradition - as i believe the character was retired after Earl Keyes, the man who portrayed him longest, passed away. Anyway, i just realized that Mr. Jingeling resided on HALLE'S seventh floor; why, that was blocks away! Instead, those who attended got to listen to live music by Ryann Anderson ("Music that's like ice cream for your ears"!) and see the Snow Queen standing in front of the central fountain.

i could wax on (and on, and on) about my memories of past holidays downtown. My brother's birthday is the 18th, and my family would come in to town every year around then, to spend a weekend in a downtown hotel room, see the displays at all the stores, visit Santa and Mr Jingeling, do our shopping at the Twigbee Shoppe, and ride the miniature train around the base of the twelve-story tree at Sterling Lindner. Sometimes we'd have brunch at the Silver Grille, where kids meals were served in little cardboard stoves (!) but often as not we'd eat at - was it the Minute Chef? - that faced right out on the Square, with the mysteriously forbidden-to-kids Kon-Tiki Room just beyond.

Its hard now to capture how very special this was. Its a standing family joke that the year revolved around two poles for my brother: Cedar Point in the summer, and the visit downtown in winter; and as soon as one high point had been passed, he'd start asking how soon it was to the other. In these days of on-demand everything, there just isn't the same anticipation; and without the investment of energy and wishful thinking, the sense of the numinous isn't there when you do get whatever it is. We knew, if we missed that trip up to town, it would be a WHOLE YEAR before we'd see the little moving figures in the windows, get the key to Santa's castle, walk up and down the marble ramps in the Terminal Tower and experience all the other delights that were *only* to be found at that time of year.

The funny thing is, before he moved to California, my brother did several Christmases downtown - why, here he is as Tinsel the Elf, greeting baby Eldest Daughter:

i'd forgotten that one, to be honest. What i do remember is him as a Tin Soldier - first in the toy department at Halle's and later in the window at the May Co. i learned several of the living statue tricks from him, altho i don't think he called it that when he performed. After he moved to California, the tradition of the Tin Soldier continued, with another local performer in the role at Tower City. Last week, a quarter of a century later (!) i finally got my turn.

And that is MORE than enough blog for tonight. See you in two weeks people!

November cumen in

2010-11-21T14:49:00.004-05:00

Hm. i hope i'm not late for this post. i think its been two weeks since the last; i've been calculating it more by the phase of the moon, truth to tell. Wasn't my intention when i started but i like the thought of posting at new and full moons. If i were following that logic, the full moon post would be what projects have reached fruition, while the dark would be about those in potentia; but i'm pretty sure my life doesn't schedule itself so neatly.

Let's see if i can once again condense two weeks of activity into one paragraph. Short and sweet is not my metier, people! But since Halloween, i've perfected my vegan tiger meat recipe, embellished some jeans, finished up one play and gone into rehearsal for another, begun preparing for a new statue gig, made some great breakfast cookies, got killed off as the unknown victim for a murder mystery, caught a deliciously creepy gallery show and another installment of Pecha-Kucha, gotten back behind the lighting board for my friend's band, and been immersed in a fabulous book.

Oh, and i delivered the wedding veil i mentioned before. And now, thanks to the miracle of Teh Internetz, i can show you a picture of it! Here:

No, its not the most stunning piece you've ever seen in your life. But i'm pleased with it, and more importantly, so is my client. We were going for an Eastern Europe meets 1920s sort of effect; i'll let you decide if i even came close. i've never attempted something remotely like it before, but when the requests come in, you say yes first and learn how afterwards. But enough of the old news.

Looking over the list, i realize that i can't elaborate on each of them without rambling on (and on, and on, and on). Soo.. perhaps i'll give you ONE chunk now, and then as i get time, will put up little sub-posts about the rest. Like i said, still working out my approach to blogging; its not like the old LiveJournal where i'd spit out whatever came into my head! (and apologize afterwards, ha ha). There's a bit already been promised, which is what you'll get today; we'll see what happens from there.

*ahem* Proceed.

On November 13th, the previous play ("Brainpeople", which got wonderful reviews) wrapped up. One of the central plot points in this play is the consumption of a roasted tiger cub, and one character in particular eats a fair amount of it. Now, finding something to stand in as tiger meat wouldn't've been so hard, but the actress playing that role happens to be vegan. As the in-house old hippie, the director turned to me and asked, 'what can we use?' My first question to her was, did she have a gluten allergy. No? Awesome. We're having seitan.

At some point last spring, i got the urge to see if there was such a thing as vegan corned beef, and found a recipe that tasted GREAT, so i figured i'd just use that again. Except.. i saved it on my netbook, which currently has a case of teh deads (contributions towards a new LCD screen can be PayPal'd to gothikfaerie@yahoo.com ;-) OK, fine. i found it online, i'll just find it again. Except.. i couldn't find the one i'd used. It ~might~ be Breanna's Vegan Corned Beef, the link for which seems to be no longer active. Instead, i found one that seemed close on The Domestic Vegan , which tasted ok, but i didn't care for the texture much.

So every week when it was time to make the tiger meat, i'd tinker a little. Until finally i came up with this:
My Vegan Corned Beef

Dry Ingredients:

* 2 c. vital wheat gluten
* 2 Tbsp. nutritional yeast
* 2 Tbsp. minced onion
* 1 Tbsp. paprika
* 1 Tbsp. garlic powder
* 1 tsp. caraway seeds (ground)
* 1 tsp. fennel powder
* 1 Tbsp. salt
* 1 tsp. black pepper
* 1 tsp. chinese mustard powder
* ¬1/2 tsp. ground cloves

Wet Ingredients:

* 1 c. water
* 1/2 c, tomato juice
* 1 Tbsp. liquid smoke (hickory flavor)
* 1 Tbsp. red wine vinegar
* 1 Tbsp. brown sugar
* 1 tsp. soy sauce
* 4 lg drops red food coloring

Directions:

Grind spices in blender til powdered. Gradually add flour and flake yeast; transfer to a large bowl. Combine wet ingredients in blender, rinsing out floury residue. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry, and stir to combine. Particularly if you use the food coloring (you may not want to; it heightened the effect for onstage), at this point it will look something like this:

Knead with your hands for a couple minutes, until everything is well combined & strands of gluten start to form. On a clean surface, shape the seitan into an oval (about 8" by 5" with a 1" thickness). Let set for one hour. Loaf may rise some during this time. It will only become slightly more attractive, however:

Bake on a lightly-greased cookie sheet at 325F for thirty minutes. While the loaf is baking, fill a large pot with about 12 cups of water or vegetable broth, to which you have added 1-2 T wine vinegar. Add 2 bay leaves & 1 potato, cubed; 1/4 head of cabbage, rutabaga, turnip, and/or beet (for color). Bring to a boil, then lower heat to keep the water simmering. When the loaf is baked, it may look something like this:

The original recipe recommended wrapping it in cheesecloth before the next step: I did that the first time but then didn't bother and aside from losing the string marks where it was tied, it didn't seem to matter much. Simmer your tiger meat for another thirty minutes, then remove from broth with tongs or slotted spoon. You guessed it: its

The final product came out with a darker 'skin' and a nice chewy, moist texture. Without baking, you get something really rubbery; without boiling, its a lot like bread. i'm going to try this just for myself at some point (when there's no more leftovers in the freezer) and probably tinker with the seasoning more; i still never got the great corned flavour of the original recipe. However, this one also makes a great hash: cut slices into cubes and fry up with cubed potatoes and onion, maybe an extra bit of soy sauce and/or garlic powder. Sunday morning noms!

Anyway that's all i have time for today.. could be more in days to come, stay tuned..

All Hallows wrap-up

2010-11-03T16:00:00.004-04:00

A new blog has been promised, and a new blog you shall (hopefully!) have. For a new year, an' one keeps to the ancient Celtic system of reckoning. That's more internal, since externally my world still confirms to secular rules, but i mark what i can. In the same way, i might internally have observed Samhain, but externally it was Halloween, quite possibly the busiest time of the year for me (well, tied with Beltane half-way round the calendar wheel but that's a springtime tale). So what have i been doing since last the moon was full?

The concise version is, running sound for a play, making a wedding veil, creating Halloween costumes and making birthday presents by hand. i picked up a part-time job working at a pet store that will pay my rent, and started winterizing my apartment. i've been making several attempts at perfecting my Vegan Corned Beef recipe. i spent an afternoon in a local cemetery, attended a party at a Roller Grrl's house, and saw the Dickies at a massive Masquerade Ball around the corner from my house. That pretty well sums it up; the details follow.

First, i've been running sound for "Brainpeople" every weekend, for one. A very different sound plot than the previous play; this one is largely experimental, lots of Zoviet France and Crash Worship, mixed in with selections from several soundtracks, most notably "Frida" but also "Interview With The Vampire" (same composer, it turns out) and "The Crow". Which may give you an idea of the tone of the play.

Along with running sound, i've been providing a food item that's consumed onstage each night. The script calls for tiger meat, which even our beloved West Side Market is unlikely to provide - but besides that little obstacle, the actress who eats the most is vegan. Last spring i'd run across a great recipe for Vegan Corned Beef that i thought would work; but its saved to my netbook, which is out of commission with a cracked screen just at present. And i haven't been able to locate quite the one i used in online searches since. So i've just been experimenting a little each week, trying to come up with something that's both tasty and toothsome. The recipe i found produces something that tastes all right, but has the consistency of Silly Putty; not what we're going for at all. i'm hoping to get it right by the end of the run, at which point i'll post MY Vegan Corned Beef recipe.

Another thing keeping me busy was making a wedding veil for an acquaintance. She's going off to Eastern Europe to wed, under somewhat curious circumstances which are not my business. Millinery, on the other hand, is. i created a sort of Russian cap in white satin, with some ribbon embroidery and a central heart of pearl roping, with silk flowers (including her favorite, pink lillies) around the brim. The veil itself is rather plain, just iridescent netting with a lace trim at the hem, falling to fingertip length. Her dress is simple, spaghetti straps and not a lot of frou-frou, so i tried to keep the veil appropriate. i hope she'll like it.

With the onset of winter, i've been trying to prepare Chez Wolfkitten. This will be my first winter in the new apartment, and the prospect of heating bills has me on the nervous side. Tho i might have complained, i LOVED having steam heat at my old place and will miss it muchly here. i've been covering my windows in plastic, a window a day or so. The bedroom has two layers and will have one more before i'm done, as the windows are directly above the head of my bed. If it gets too bad, i may even have to re-arrange the room, we shall see. The living room doesn't have any as yet, its last on my list. However, i've had it closed off all month, and a tapestry hanging over the French doors that lead in. There's a good ten degree difference apparent when i do walk in there. Aside from entertaining, tho, i don't need to use it much; i lived in two rooms at the old place so i'm used to not needing a lot of space.

All this and i've not even spoken of Halloween! Two of my friends went up to experience Detroit's Theater Bizarre firsthand. The city came down on the T.B. collective and made them move to a club, which rather dampened the experience as i understand. Not having been there, i can't comment much - i'd've happily gone if i wasn't in the booth. i should change the subtitle of this blog to, I Can't, I Have Rehearsal. There's more behind this tale but i have to keep the details to myself for quite some time yet.

And then the Big Weekend. i only had one real request for costume assistance, attaching a life-size fake crow to the shoulder of a leather coat. The bird itself fell apart before my work did. Interesting that crows continue as a theme. i'll forever be a weregrrl and a mermaid, but the crows and i, we have an Allegiance now. Speaking of crows, i don't think i've mentioned that my new part-time gig is working in the exotic bird room at a local pet shop, have i? Birds again.

i mention it now, because it plays into *my* costume. i'd started with the concept of Showgirl from Outer Space; lifted from a favorite movie, Vegas In Space by way of an outfit i'd worn in Say You Love Satan as the club DJ, based on a Mardi-Gras colored wig. Well, once i started cleaning up after a couple marathon wing-clipping sessions, i got the notion i might glue some feathers around my eyes, feathers and rhinestones, that sort of thing. Fortunately, a week or so before i realized that if i took the time to do that, i'd never make it out before the night was over, as i'd have to get ready post-theater both nights (yes, of *course* i went out Friday and Saturday! Didn't you?)

Instead, i had the brilliant idea to make an appliance and glue the feathers to that - which became a papier-mache domino mask, covered in green/gold feathers with sequin accents. Oh goodie, someone's posted a picture:

i'm quite happy with how it came out, even tho i wound up *nothing* like the original concept - only the wig and my snakeskin leggings were the same. But about three days beforehand, i had the brainstorm that instead of trotting out my pirate dress again (that is SO three years ago) on Friday, i should instead go in my Circus Grrl persona, much nearer and dearer to my heart. i have a great frock-coat style jacket, on semi-permanent loan from the theater (*ahem*), the above-mentioned leggings, and knee-high black riding boots. Oh, and my corset, of course.

Naturally, once i got that bee in my bonnet, nothing would do but that i create a tiny tophat to complete the ensemble! i've never made one before. This one is uber quick'n'dirty: posterboard covered in fabric. Only later that night did it occur to me i'd not created a way to attach it to my head; amazingly, two bobbypins held it at that rakish angle all night long. There was drama and delay getting to where i was going, so that by the time i arrived at my favorite watering hole, they were closing up and heading en masse to some *other* bar. Which turned out to be one of those places Suburban White People go to 'let their hair down', complete with obligatory cover band. Who at least got props for having a horn section. Downed a quick cocktail or two and made our escape.

Only Zombie Jett was up for the Roller Grrl party. Shortly after this pic was taken, he peeled the extra eyeball off his face and bounced it around the kitchen before it came to rest on the back landing. For this portion of the evening, i had donned my ultimate accessory - the accordion! - and was cajoled to play a tune for a charming young Scorpio mime. i got into a discussion of seitan-cooking techniques with Mr Roller Grrl and a friend of his, had a smoke on the porch, scooped up the drag queen and dominatrix i'd brought to the party initially and tottered off home.

Satyrday night - yes, its almost over, i promise! - i'd arranged to spend hanging out with another Scorpio lady friend of mine, who made a mysteriously fetching vampire. She met me at Chez Wolfkitten, we did our final primping and walked over to Cleveland Public Theater. Which was madness, madness i tell you madness. Hundreds of people. So many that to say "I'll see you there" was a crapshoot, and i did *not* see at least one person who made that promise. But i did eventually see most of my closest crew. One or two recognized me straight off, but i had to lift the mask before most people knew who i was - which led to the ribbon finally giving way by the end of the night.

One of my favorite costumes of the night was a friend who went as the Facebook 'poke' - just a foam sandwich board with the Facebook 'f' logo, and a pointer-finger hand on a stick; but props for creativity! There was another dressed in black & white stripes of varying sorts, who had black&white concentric circles on his face. They gave him the look of being a cyclops; very cool! Another friend was a transforming werewolf; his outfit consisted of shorts, tennis shoes, Elmer's glue, and a LOT of scraps of hair. He said the local barber college wouldn't part with sweepings so i'm not sure where he got it, but for such a simple approach it worked really well. Maybe its his wolfish grin.

i got to spend a little time chatting with someone who i've been wanting to mend fences with for a while, very glad of that opportunity. Got to spend a little while too, chatting with the Rev. Ivan Stang and Princess Wei R. Doe (Queen of All UFOs), which made me even happier. i don't get to see them near often enough, which is silly given that we live all of what, ten miles away from each other?! The ball ended at one a.m., but not all of us were ready to head home yet. Some folks opted for the Happy Dog, which was walking distance and might have been a better choice. A few others, myself included, headed up to the Spitfire for last call. One bartender had a far too credible Superhost outfit on, which will mean nothing to non-Clevelanders, but trust me, if you get the joke it was great.

And that, ah my foes and oh my friends, was my All Hallow's weekend. i'll (attempt to) be back in two weeks' time, with the next installment. This too promises to be a busy, busy month - lots of costuming to be done - so i'm sure i'll have something for you to read. i hope you tune in.

farewell reel

2010-10-29T15:27:00.001-04:00

Me again. If you've read more than one post in this blog, you are aware that i've never quite settled on what i want it to *be* - which shouldn't surprise me, as i've never quite settled on that about myself either, even after a half-century of trying to figure it out.

i know i don't want this to reflect my inner ramblings and quirks; if and when i feel like sharing those with the outside world, well, i've got a space for that. Yet ask a Pisces not to talk about her feelings, or vague, mystical pronouncements? HA! Well, you can ask. Just don't hold your breath waiting. Unless you're into that sort of thing.

However, by the time this posts, it will be a new year. Yes, it will. For me. i observe a modified Celtic-eclectic version of the Wheel of the Year, and if i say its new - just don't argue, ok? And since new years are for new things, let's try something new here.

Whurgh. That's already three paragraphs of expository rambling, and if its taking me this long to get to the point, then - maybe what i'll do is make this post the LAST of the old year, and put up the New Improved Active Avoidance a few days later, how's that. Fine. Glad we got that settled.

As of next week, then, i am going to attempt - as a personal discipline - to post twice a month, summing up the events and projects i've been involved with since the previous post. i always have a million things going on; i really should be talking about them here. Consider this a farewell to the old paradigm Active Avoidance, then, and tune in next time to find out what wacky hi-jinks your narratrix has been up to this time! (hint - big favorite holiday weekend.. should be a good one).

Oh, one more thing. With the temporary discombobulation of my beloved Nettie, this blog is going to have to remain picture-free until i can get her a new screen. i'm still *taking* pics; i just don't have a way to upload them without the ability to plug in a memory card - which my iMac doesn't possess. You shall have to illustrate my befuddling variety of misadventures *with your mind*. See? Challenges for me, challenges for you. Its going to be an equal-opportunity kind of blog.

Dark Lodge summer slight return

2010-10-14T19:33:00.001-04:00

Once again, everything's gone arse over teakettles in wolfkittenland. Stability, i do not know ye. i'm still close enough to young i can laugh delightedly: whee and whoopsie-daisy! but the era of living out my days in an abandoned boxcar get less romantic as they loom larger on the horizon.

Ah but fie on that for today. Today i awakened in a snug little bed in a pretty new apartment - well, not new since the last time; i'm not THAT unstable i hope! - hailstones pattering my window. And i could lay contentedly under the covers and listen until they were done; no rushing out to Leeloo Dallas Moolti Jobs today.

Ah yes, i am once again employed. And employed. And busy as ever. And yet curiously still well below the poverty line; i guess i took that vow in a life i no longer recall, but still seem bound by it. My mornings now are filled with birds - i'm the bird room assistant in the warehouse section of a major pet store chain. Lots of poop and screeching; but i'm left to myself better than three-quarters of the time, my head free to roam while my hands do what they must. Afternoons are 'free' but so far have been filled with one and another small side gig. Two evenings a week i have the Clinic, teaching women's health exams to medical students. After that its off to the theater, tho by the end of this week that will only be weekends. Two days off a week, but not consecutive and alternate Thursdays aren't really 'off' at all as that's the day i clean a yuppie condo. No statue work til next summer alas, as that makes me nearly as much dosh as the Clinic job; however, one way and another and another i'm staying just barely afloat and that's what matters.

Aside from that, i've returned to a world i thought i left behind a quarter century ago, and that may be the strangest of all. Once upon a time, in a journal far, far away, i undertook to write a 'small' history of all the strange places i've been in my life. Strange in internal ways; i'm no world traveller despite my gypsie leanings. i couldn't compose such a thing and not include the events of 1987-88, my Basketcase summer; an era with a strongly identifiable astral signature to it. And at the time i was writing (a little over five years ago), as i got to that section, i realized i could detect traces of that same signature in the air once again. In fact, part of that feeling was an internal urging to check in with a certain silvered Duke; at that time i had NO idea where or who he was, little say that he'd come to play a regular role in my life a few short years on.

Lest he sound too central - i've had a few other quasi-mythological characters pass through my life, to greater impact - his presence is part of the return of a group we half-jokingly referred to as thee Dark Lodge. Less than a formal coven, more than a group of friends, a high percentage of what i term 'natural witches', that is, those with an active Awareness of things beyond our mortal ken. There may be a story there, but one for telling another time. For now, i'll simply say that when that era passed and we all went on to our separate lives, i thought it was an era done and over with.

Its not.

The focus has shifted some. Guggi, who was at the center and helped hold it together, has been gone from this life for over a decade - tho i rather suspect if we got all the key players together and made a serious attempt, we might hear from him even now. Who plays what role isn't important; the fact is that somehow, something rather like thee Dark Lodge has drifted back together, and once again become the central feature in my life.

In MY life! Which has been led as a 70s stoner, a hippie, a punk, a pagan, a goth, as mother and Brownie troop leader, as social gadfly and village witch, as real-time performance art, as crowgrrl and woodnymph, sacred energie technician and faerie shaman. The One Who Wears the Masks stays the same, but everything else mutates subtly, regularly, a dance ov give and take with my environment.

So for the waves on the sea of possibility to have returned me just *here*, so clearly back with the strongest of all the tribes whose tokens i wear around my neck, tattooed to my skin, painted on my back - ov all ov those, Here is where i have returned. To the Source. i wonder how long i'll stay this time..

freelance quantum wufkitn

2010-08-20T16:26:00.000-04:00

Friday the 13th has traditionally been a good day for me, and this just past was no different. Except maybe that it was better than some - ? Top ten, i'd say, if i were able to count such things. Actually, its the weekend as a whole i'm looking at, or even back into the week.. from the new moon on, let's say. A good time to mark a beginning.

Dark moons have been a noticeable event in my life for the last twenty years or so. i've mentioned that fact before. Long enough you'd think i'd remember to pay attention when one's coming up, but they're as likely to sneak up on me as not. i hit a peak, crest a wave, look at my little Lunabar app, and - oh, go figure. That's been as certainly true with this one as any.

So maybe it wasn't until Saturday that it struck me, really; but then, i'm often so caught up in the moment i don't have time to Process until afterwards. But at some point Saturday i realized - i have a stack of checks sitting on my desk, waiting to be deposited. Wait, now, i have *what* - ?! But its true. i'm hardly rolling - all but one are for less than a hundred dollars - but neither am i in danger of defaulting on the rent, at least for next month. After that, who knows. Its a crapshoot - welcome to the world of freelance! - but right now, just for today (if you will) i'm doing ok.

Also on Saturday, after closing night for the last play, i had a really nice conversation with one of our troupe members. Who is also going the freelance route, a bit further down the path than me tho. But he was very encouraging, seemed like he Sees it how i See it. i've been feeling pretty good about how things are going anyway, but hearing someone else's take on it was really nice (and definitely appreciated, pal, if you're reading this!)

Somewhere along the way with this, i also had a moment of feeling.. of realization.. how can i put this. Five years ago i was in such a different place - emotionally, financially, physically.. and at the time, i Saw that a wave of change was coming in. i didn't know where the wave would take me, only that Something was building. Now, i suddenly feel like i know what it was building towards, that i'm Here, Now, this is It. By which i don't mean at an end or stopping point; maybe the end of an era or phase and the beginning of a new one, but not Over over. i'm certainly not ready to be done, by a long shot.

Saturday night i went home early, no reason to stay out. In a good frame of mind after hanging out with my pal. My apartment, lovely new place, was quiet, a lazy humid breeze drifting up from the lake. i went into the living room in the dark, still not used to having so much space of my very own, and started doing yoga - a nice long session, stretching myself beyond my usual limits. Moving very slowly, Subliminal time, so as not to pull anything; and then settling into statue mode. i wanted to try a new pose, see if i could hold it, and i think that i can, that it will work (a variation on the Venus de Milo - obviously variant, as my arms are staying attached thanks just the same!) Did my regular workout after that and then went to sleep to the sound of crickets and the gentle oscillation of my fan.

Things are coming together in my life - i feel that finding this apartment is a symbol of that, not the cause, of course. But as if that was the last key i had to turn in the lock, and now the door has opened. Life could be very scary right now; i have no idea how i'll pay rent in October, little say electric or food or heat. i signed a year lease that i can't promise i'll be able to carry out. And yet somehow i'm not worried - in fact, i'm quite the opposite of worried; serenely trusting in thee yoniverse that S/He will provide.

i don't believe there are accidents - maybe causes and effects we can't perceive or understand. Not accidents, though. i'm here, where i am, because this is where i am *meant* to be at this juncture. The place fits me too perfectly. And if i managed to make this lucky stumble, to some place i feel so content, so able to live my life, then i Trust and believe that the means to maintaining it will appear. This is already beginning to happen; opportunities i would not have expected or looked for seem to be springing up. i'm cautious about getting too optimistic, settling back and thinking i've nothing to worry about, but at the same time trying not to worry things *out* of existence, either.

A final tangent and i'll close: i'm a reader with a broad spectrum of tastes, have been my whole life. i therefore pick up books at the thrifts fairly regularly; a twenty-five cent investment can provide a week's worth of entertainment, albeit some much more entertaining than others. One of my recent acquisitions, "Timescape" by Gregory Benford, might not seem entertaining to most folks. Its what is known as 'hard' science fiction; that is, the science in it is real, or real enough to speculate upon. There's not much sex (what little there is involves the closest thing to a villain in the piece, nothing racy at all) and even less violence. Nary a car chase to be found. i've been looking forward to getting home every night so i could get back to it.

The book deals with the possibility of a sort of time travel, or at least communication backwards in time; and the problems arising if such an endeavour proves successful. Since the author is equipped with a working knowledge of quantum physics (circa 1980), one of the possible consequences of such communication is the notion of parallel universes - a concept i've spent a lot of time thinking about.

One of the most interesting things in the world to me is when you go far enough around the circle that magic becomes a science, and science blurs and dissolves into spirit. Sir Arthur Eddington is quoted as saying "The stuff of the universe is mind-stuff", one of the shaping mantras of my life. This book doesn't go quite that deeply in, but it does ultimately begin to deal with the question of what happens when the universe splits in two (Another look at this, one more accessible to the general populace, occurs in the movie "The Butterfly Effect").

The protagonist realizes, near the end of the story, that his universe shifted and changed, and that his former future was no longer 'future', that it, in fact, no longer *existed* for him. He is even able to narrow it down to approximately when the shift happened, one of several events that might have thrown the switch (as readers in the 'outside observer' mode, we know very clearly which event, as the outcome - the author chose a well-known historical moment - turned out very differently in our world).

What intrigues me is the notion that his fictional description of the sense of shifting futures, and at least one theoretical speculation on how this could happen, very strongly mirror my own experiences, and intuitive sense of the same - my 'magic' just took a giant step closer to his 'science'. Is it then so wildly improbable that 'magic' brought me into this apartment, is bringing me new opportunities, even that it put a randomly-chosen book from the thrift store into my hands with a possible explanation for how such things might happen - ?!

Of course, any sufficiently advanced technology will appear as magic to less advanced civilizations. But whether its that hoodoo that you do or the Wheeler-Everett-Graham model doesn't matter to me. All i know is, the universe is unfolding as it should, and for once i seem to be surfing the crest of the probability wave. Um - cowabunga??

new diggins

2010-08-05T00:39:00.001-04:00

Alright, i confess - i am a bad blogger. At least in the Y Hlo Thar World expository sense most people use when they blog; i'm far too good at the Oh Teh Noes Why Didn't He Call, staple hand to forehead sort. i am trying to be better about it - and oh, nothing gets me doing something creative like telling myself i really *must*, now, tonight, get around to some OTHER project. Like writing a blog.

Having decided that yes, i am due - its been a month since my last one already, omfg, how can that be?! - i've proceeded instead to work on decorating some papier mache fish i'm making for a friend's shop, make and eat dinner, begin emptying my cupboards, sort and re-file my three crates of records and do some active listening towards the next play's sound design.

What's that about emptying cupboards, you say? Funny thing, that; as it ties right in to the topic i've chosen to soliloquize upon this month. To wit, my new apartment. i've put up some pics in the past of where i used to live, but i doubt any of them gave the proper impression of just how freaking *small* it was. Funky dog-leg hallway aside, it really was only two rooms, kitchen and bath. Which meant that my workroom had to do double duty as my kitchen - or should that be the other way around?

Yeah, i crammed a whole lot of stuff into not very much space and i made it work. However, in the middle of April i came down to a notice that the landlord was facing 'financial difficulties' (well, who isn't these days?) and we should expect our utilities to be going away, oh, any day now. It was not much of a step from that to the few remaining tenants fleeing the proverbial sinking ship the house had become - and just like that, as of June i suddenly found myself once again a squatter in my 'own' home.

Now, it's a little-known fact that i am not actually a Tremont resident. Most people *believe* i am, since i'm there every day one way or another; but the truth is, for the last three years i've resided in the nearby and, dare i say, equally trendy arts district of Gordon Square. But with this handwriting on the wall, perhaps the time had come to move to Tremont at last - after all, i've only been hanging out there for more than twenty years. i was even approved for an apartment down near Steelyard, yet chose not to go - heresy!

Sorry Tremonsters, but you just couldn't compete with what i found. Here's what sold me:

Ginormous closet of awesome, clawfoot tub on hexagonal tile, *living room*, full-size stove, linen closet - linen closet!! - PORCH.. Yeah, my world, it has been rocked. Still pinching myself.

This, then, is my excuse for not blogging all month - yeah! A good one, this time! i've been busy doing this:

i mentioned the ginormous closet, which can be seen in the first collage. When i got the keys and walked through on my own, i discovered two more closets, at which point i KNEW i'd died and gone to heaven. In addition to that spans-the-living-room one, i have a bedroom closet for clothes, and a walk-in off the dining room (now workshop/office).

At long last, i'll be free of my one pal's grumbly taunt that 'i sure have a lot of stuff'. True, i do; but i suspect if you took everything in *his* 2bdr+den house and crammed it into two rooms, it'd seem like a lot, too. Now i've got things stored out of sight, and my furniture isn't piled on top of itself. Well, mostly. This building's 93 years old;
they believed in high ceilings then. Who am i not to take advantage? (i also, as seen above, have a Greenman standing guard outside my living room, a lovely, rustic view off my kitchen porch, and an incredible view of sunsets over the lake. Also, not shown here, a view of the lake. That's right, LAKE BREEZES. Amazing).

i think i've done rather admirably with all this, if i do say so myself.

Not all the artwork is hung, and there are a few shelves still waiting to be filled. The futon bunk needs re-assembled, and i've a chair i want to bring from the storage locker. A chair, i might add, that has BEEN in that locker since it came back from Conneaut five years ago. i might even add in a coffee table, altho my lovely 1950s Swedish pine occaisional table must languish in the dark with the 1930s deco vanity a while longer.

Oh, and about those cupboards? i applaud my landlord's commitment to keeping the place vermin-free, i really do - par*tic*ularly after the last place =P But i'm one who takes full advantage of to-the-ceiling original kitchen cabinets. i cook for large groups on a somewhat regular basis, i bake at the holidays, i have Grandma Vernye's Fire King china and more tchotchkes than you can shake your stick at. Emptying every single cupboard, shelf, and cabinet in kitchen AND bath is a pain in the tuchus. Especially since i only just finished filling them all up. Ah well - there had to be a drawback somewhere..

Holy Pink Fourth

2010-07-05T17:17:00.009-04:00

Once again i haven't posted in a while. i guess i'm not in a very reflective period right now; plus the time it takes to sit down and write about things is time i'm not spending DOING things. i am doing a lot of things. Actually i suppose i do update on them; but these days i micro-blog via status updates (@wolfkitten - "Follow me on Twitter!"). But my head is full, there's a promise of rain on the breeze and its just me and the netbook on a futon on the floor. Yes its 3am on the night of the fourth as i write and i'm rambling.

Part of what's keeping me busy is The Move. The place i've been living the last three years Went Away, basically - landlord lost the place and no one's bought it yet, everyone but me moved out by early June. This mirrors my situation of five years ago in curious ways - it was exactly this time of year when i came back from Conneaut to Collinwood, and - well that was an adventure in and of itself. Both times i've been semi-squatting, which appeals to me on some urban punk traveller level but is maybe not quite so romantic when you're actually doing it.

This time, it was rather like watching the shoreline crumble around my little oasis on every side, knowing sooner or later it was going to eat away at my foundations. At the same time, i didn't have to bail suddenly, so i was able to look around a little and find something that was right for me. Which i believe i have. i'm still not completely finished; next weekend is scheduled to be the last big transfer, which means having everything *ready* to go before then. i'll get it done somehow, but of course this has ALSO been one of those manic energie periods when Everything is Happening At Once. And of course this place didn't come through until i was right on the edge of that next big wave coming in.

Summertimes roll.. One reason i've always loved Jane's Addiction so much. Not only were they THE summer soundtrack back in the day, but they captured the essence of those times so perfectly. i could, an i cared to, find parallels back to the endless Basketcase summer; the July 4th i lost and then re-found my High Priestess Tarot earrings on a beach i can all but see from my new living room. But to get there i have to use a stepping-stone, touch base with my most recent midsummer transformation. At that time, i could Feel that sort of wave i'd known in the 80s building again. And i had no way of knowing i'd be where i am, that i would reconnect with people who were There before, none of it. Not sure i could have even *pictured* this existing like it does. And yet here we are.

Last year at this time i was writing about a Horrible Holiday. To me, July 4th symbolizes a secular version of the ancient midsummer rites. Though to call it 'mid'summer seems somehow wrong - i understand the position it held in the calendar for pagan ancestors quite well, but we don't follow the same calendar, the same rhythms anymore. Its not that we have none; they're just attuned differently. July 4th taps into the celebration of the seasonal influences, but its overlaid with a different sort of festivity that glorifies all the forms of dominion i've rejected my whole life. Ergo not one i'm generally too comfortable with. In years past we'd try to get out of the city altogether - i've attended a few Rainbow Gatherings, and would go camping if at all remotely possible. And those were choices i made even before i got to know the joys of fireworks-induced panic attacks.

This year was different, though, and to my mind a lot better. Well, maybe not better than camping with friends; that's hard to beat. But good. Of course, it started off with an entirely different gathering of the tribes - a gathering of the tribe i have probably the strongest ties to: the Clepunk crew. Anymore people talk about 'the eighties' and everyone thinks Flashdance, Cindy Lauper, and big hair metal. Yeah, that was out there, but that wasn't remotely MY 80s. Mine was the local hardcore punk scene (which has never yet been properly documented), intermixed with Rainbow hippie stuff by way of what would become stoner rock. But with the emphasis on hardcore.

Did any of us then think we'd be doing this thirty years later? (and i have to correct myself, because i WANTED to write twenty =:o) We couldn't think that far ahead; Reagan was probably going to start a nuclear war anyway, so Live Fast Die Young seemed an eminently reasonable response to the world around us. Until, of course, some people started doing exactly that and you realized a cool bumper sticker does not a practicable life course make. However, the good thing about it now is that those of us who are still standing - and there are many more still here than not - have generally learned to be a little more intelligent about it.

Its not that we don't still like to go out and kick it; but most of us have come to terms with the fact that we have times when we can do that - and times when we can't. Even if there were still places like the Lakefront, Pop Shop, Underground and all the rest, we can't spend every weekend blowing it out like we used to (there are still scenes where you can find that, but its different energy for different times). Which makes the times we do get together for that reason all the more special.

i realize its a little preposterous to say that an event called Cleveland's Screaming was a positive celebration - dare i say life-affirming? Fuck it, i'm a punk but i'm a hippie too; effing deal. A celebation of Us, of our tribe, of having been through all we've collectively been through and still be able to drink, play fast music and have fun. As the screaming part of the title might suggest, there was always pain underlying our good times, but one of the things i always liked about the Cleveland scene was that we had fun anyway. We might go to war with Russia tomorrow but fuck it; tonight we're gonna get blasted and enjoy ourselves.

When i started writing this, i was thinking about the pain, and i feel there's more there to be said on that topic. But not just now. Right now, i'm still high on the sheer exuberant energie of seeing so many faces together again, of seeing bands i love and grew up with play out once more (some maybe for the very last time), of touching the same heart and spirit that fueled me then. Friday and Saturday night we all gathered - not at any of our old places; are any of them even still standing?! - but a newer club that understands and encourages the old vibe.

We've had a few 'reunion' shows over the years and i've been to most of them; this was the first time i was actively involved in one. It made a difference to how i perceived it, particularly on Saturday. i convinced the promoter to let me do my glasswalking routine - and not just at 'sometime' during the weekend, but right before the Saturday night headliners, the Pink Holes (and Jim, if you're reading this, i hope you understand now why i wanted that spot!) For one, i know how people react when i do it, enough to know these were *exactly* the people who'd appreciate it, and that was exactly the time when they'd appreciate it most.

But i also wanted to bring something back from other tribes, other worlds i've travelled to, as a sort of gift. Although i've had a lifelong love of carnivals, i didn't move into my circus grrl phase until after i'd left the punk scene. Likewise the theatrical aspects - i may not have been born in a trunk, but i was raised in very close proximity to one; but the closest i got to theater in those days was The Subliminals, the blacklight performance art troupe i was in. Now, these things are the biggest part of what i do, and i was really excited to be able to bring that to the table.

And it was awesome. i hear video was shot; maybe by the time i post this i can link it. (Alas not yet. Check back, i'll edit it in if it goes live).

Of course, to really grok the enormity of the weekend in fullness, you have to know about Les Black's Amazing Pink Holes (i could probably philosophize about the significance of so many of us taking new names on joining the tribe). And i'm not sure if i'm up to finding the words that can explain them if you were never there. Musically, they're not the greatest band that came out of the scene - although despite their claims to the contrary, neither are they the worst. Yes, there are Pink Holes tunes - from covers of "The Lion Sleeps Tonight". "Long Tall Texan" and the old Stridex commercial ("The Proof Is On The Pad") to originals like "Crazy Slut" "MSB Love", and the guaranteed to offend everyone "My Mother". They're fun, they're catchy, they're great to blast out of your car window. But in a way, the music was always just an excuse for - well, the Pink Holes themselves.

i leave it to others to tell stories of the crazy shows they put on. i know i SAW them back in the day, but i think i missed a lot too; they may have played nights when i was home with two little kids making pizza and getting ready for the afterparty. What i can say is that seeing them live always seems to be this intense, cathartic experience - not exactly the same sort i experienced seeing Crash Worship, for instance; and yet closer to that than you might imagine. They were (are?) a sort of ultimate expression of having fun despite the pain. You lost your job, you crashed your car, you found out your guy or girl has been stepping out - fuck it. They'll make you forget that for a night.

Because really, who can remember any of those things when there's a stripper in a tiny jungle thong bikini tossing gift bags with CDs and cans of silly string out to the crowd, smoke bombs are going off onstage, pool noodles and trampolines - trampolines! - are being thrown into the audience, a gigantic stuffed animal is being torn to bits like a pig among the Maenads and good lord, what do you mean they're only three songs into the set?!

And by the grace of a connection back, a strand from before i severed ties that re-wove itself a bit sooner than the rest, i wound up directly in the heart of this maelstrom. i got asked if i could run lights for them - which is a bit of an in-joke, because their 'lights' consisted of four strands of twinkle lights - the musicians in pink and the lead singer in white - connected back to a junction box with regular old light switches wired together. A far cry from the 75 channel intelligent lighting programmable system i'd run the weekend before (and that weekend should/may yet be be an entry unto itself).

This meant that as soon as i'd jumped into that tray of broken beer bottles, MC Joe Gizmo and i were striking my props, i found my barefoot way back to a rear corner, and it was ON. Like i said, i've seen the Pink Holes before, but never from that perspective. Of course, what with the styrofoam pellets, the silly string, the smoke and the stage lights, i couldn't see much but the backs of the bassist and drummer. Reports are still filtering back to me of the things that went on, onstage as well as off. Stagediving, nudity, silly string in inappropriate orifices, they brought it all.

And where i come from, that was a freakin' RITUAL. i first started travelling in pagan circles in the middle of my time in the punk era, and could never escape comparing the two. i can count on one hand with fingers left over the number of bonfire nights i've been to that approached the sort of energy we'd raise during a good show. None of the punk side was Intentional in a magickal sense, but does that make it any less valid?

Not to me, friends. Not to me. Our tribe came together and celebrated, and maybe i'll get a chance this week to note down the rest of it before its gone from my firefly brain. But if i don't, it will be strictly because of finding the time. The high points were many, and i'm still both honored and charged to have been present for our reunion tribal stomp.

to market: a manifesto

2010-04-21T01:55:00.001-04:00

i am having a small but minor epiphany and yes, the irony is intentional - but no less true. Its also no less an epiphany, which is why its enough to get me off my duff and over here posting.

i have spent the last two mornings in one of my own personal circles of hell: the world of corporate marketing. How could such a thing happen? Well, i threw something at the wall, and for some reason i don't entirely fathom, it stuck. i'll even go so far as to say that the reason may be that the Main Corporate BooHoo knows his stuff well enough that he sensed *something* about me - a certain energie that, if properly yoked to Company In Question might show some potential returns. But, like Cinderella's wicked stepmother, i said - if.

The fact is, what i've got simply won't work with their yoke. They'd get a little juice out of me, but not what they were hoping for, because they'd be coming with a colander to try and harvest water. So to speak. And in the past, my response would have been to try and freeze myself, or put me in a baggie, something, anything to keep from falling out the holes in the sieve - when in fact, a sieve just isn't the right tool, and i am not the right match for them.

i've spent much of today agonizing over this; am i being a Class A fool to turn down a job offer - just saying the offer actually gets made? (one reason i think i'm not is that, despite giving them two days of my time and labor, there's been no guarantee i actually am, nor will be, hired). And why does the possibility that i MIGHT be fill me with such dread? After all, i've been out of work for a long time now. Any port in a storm, right?

Uh, well, maybe not. i could go on with the metaphors, but ultimately what i'm realizing is, traditional marketing just doesn't work on me. And i may be - well, i am - part of a new paradigm that needs to be reached in new ways. You want to retain my business? About the *last* thing you'd want to do is call me up. No matter what sort of doublespeak term you couch it in, to me, that's telemarketing. Which means first and foremost, no matter what you have to say, i am not interested. i don't care how great your message is, you have just found the No. 1 way to make sure i not only don't listen, but will come away with a negative impression of your company for having used it. You also will not reach me with direct-mail, television, or print ads. You *might* reach me through an effective radio campaign; i'll admit to finding that "Five Dollar Foot-Longs" song pretty catchy.

Of course, i am about as far from a typical consumer as you can get; i may not have Cayce Pollard's allergy to corporate brands and logos, but my antipathy to them is pretty deeply ingrained. There are things i'll happily be a walking advertisement for, but none of them are corporations. And even something like the Liminis, i'd be kind of particular about wearing a logo shirt - tho hm, i'd have no problem at all wearing a Morticia's Chair tshirt (and really, why don't i have one after all this time?!). i guess it would come down to the design; i *am* nearly as picky as Cayce when it comes to color and font (not that you'd ever guess reading this, eh?)

But i'm also realizing, or re-realizing, that if i am going to get out there and promote any given something - business, band, concept - it simply, absolutely HAS to be something i Believe in. Not like hey, yeah, i guess that doesn't suck; like, i am seriously, personally, all about this idea. It reflects my core beliefs.

Ergo, a company, say - restaurant - that wants me to promote them is going to have to have a decent selection of vegetarian items, for starters. No, a turkey sub does not count. A cheese sub isn't any better. A sub with tempeh, or soy cheese, or vegan hotdogs? NOW i'm interested. And don't tell me how you use 'quality ingredients' - who's gonna come out and say they don't, right? McDonald's uses that. Are you using locally grown, organic, sustainably harvested ingredients? That i want to hear about. So you've got a points program to reward customers? *yawn* Who freakin' cares. i'm in a million of those; at best it means i get spam mail from your company that i won't read. Want to get me talking you up? Tell me how your delivery drivers are fueled by recycled fryer grease from your kitchens, or your packaging contains at least 40% post-consumer waste. Don't tell me you use 'the finest' imported olives; tell me about how you compost all the vegetable waste.

And most of all, don't make the mistake of thinking that you can present the same old products you've been hawking for twenty-plus years but Now, Follow Us on Twitter! and i'm going to think, ooh, shiny. You want me to follow your twitter feed? Be small, be 'indie', be Green. Be about the same ideas *i* care about. Be entertaining most of the time; give me a reason to WANT to know what you have to say. So that when you do have a sale, or a special, or a new product, i already know I Like You and I Care.

Needless to say, the company that i wasted ten hours of my time on is none of those things. And hey, what do i know; they've been around thirty years and have multiple locations, while i'm an aging anarchist that can't afford to eat there anyway.

But i still think i'm right.

2010-02-06T20:29:00.003-05:00

If you were to ask me, what's it going to be then, Art or Majik? i couldn't answer you. Because i'm not at all sure i can distinguish, any more. i'm not at all certain that any pure, true artist (define as you will) is free of the taint of shamanism; no moreso than i could find something shamanic that bears no stamp of the artistic.

i've noted before that preparing a piece of artwork is like preparing to entheogenically journey is like preparing to cast a spell. There's no difference, is there, Mr. BBC? In fact there is so little that i'm not entirely sure i could even disentangle by referencing the final outcome. With the first, there is assuredly something tangible, but the other two may produce tangible results as well. The second is the least likely, but then again what one brings back from journeys beyond thee Veil might well feed inspiration for the first; the creation of which involves the third.

i walk a razor's edge between the three, always have. Is this the line i walk?

i see no difference between that and a journey into Faerie; my Otherworld is equally at home and likely to appear under blacklights and strobes as by firelight 'gainst the trees. Most of my favourite bands would transport you straight into another realm, a shamanic, participatory event that Boujeloud himself would recognize.

These are the rituals of thee Kali yuga, mad Shaivites smearing themselves with cremation ashes - all is one, all is one, all is one.

And so if i write that i received email sent from beyond the grave last night, it is only of a piece, yes? i've known precious few shamen who were Conscious enou that i'd credit them the ability to work such a piece of majik. One, i believe, spent himself in a last final effect of simply staying alive - those who know me know that story. Another - well, might once have had that power, but chose to forego it, at least from my perspective. The third - must there be three for such things? - the third has pulled it off i do so solemnly swear. Here, have an example of art becoming majik in his hands:

Now, before anyone texts this in to the National Enquirer.. the email is 'only' from an autoresponder. That it bears a crowbird's stamp as apparent sender is merely a fluke of how he set it up. That it comes from a message board that was never, ever active, long months after i might have thought it shut down is explainable, if unusual. That the very next message in my inbox queue *has his name as subject line* - well, an accident of fate, innit? Particularly if the message notification was just a pointer to the same poem the second email carried.

It isn't. The friend who sent the poem doesn't even know the dreamland board exists.

Each year i seem to lose several friends. A drawback to aging i suppose; moreso because walking a razor's edge is a path few can navigate well. i was going to say, successfully, but i'm far from certain 'success' is a term one can apply to such a pursuit. This last year saw three losses of people whose impact on the community they left behind was much greater than they likely ever knew in life. One was simply a Good Person, a spirit everyone liked and no one thought could leave so soon. One was that and an artist/activist/focalizer besides, whose impact here echoed tho she moved from the area two decades before. The third - its triangles, triangles, triangles all the way down - all i can say is, whether he's got a tin shack in the mountains of Bulgaria or spends most of his days in crow form winging about the piney woods above Mabon, he came back to town this weekend. And he sent me an email to say hello.

Gifts and Gratuituous Gnomes

2010-02-02T23:35:00.002-05:00

Hokay. Well. i established this blog a while back to be my For Public Consumption one - yes, there are others. No, i am not going to tell you where. Having gotten that far, i've proceeded to flounder. Whatinole do i write about, if it *isn't* teh Excruciating Personal, eh? This is an ongoing challenge, and scrolling back will give you different answers for different days. (Also, as of this writing, it will give you different answers all on the SAME day, today. As i've yet to figure out how to fix that particular java error).

Well, today's installment shall be about ~me~, i guess, minus the waahngst. Which is rather silly, given all six of you who read this :::checks follower list::: - nine! Whoa welcome new people! - i think most of you know me one way or another anyway. But for the sheer fuggovit..

Pleased to meet you, i don't believe we've met. My name's Ian, and.. oh wait no. My name, well that's a variable thing too. i've had a lot of them over the years. a LOT. sade has been the most constant, and that's not 'shar-day', that's like the Manson chick if you were wonderin'. Some days i am also the Fabulous Sascha Peppercorn, which is a play within a play if all the world's a stage. And yes, theatre - acting - thank you - is a major part of my life.

No wait, back up - *performance* is my life. Sometimes that happens in a theater. Most times it does not. i am but an actor chappie who often plays the role of Judith (hopefully never Quaisoir) playing the role of sade playing Sascha. Got me? i am a living ongoing work of performance art. Not to the point of pointing a camera at myself 24/7, tho i guess i might now be capable of just that. Consider everything you see me do in that frame, tho, and we'll get on fine.

Camera. Ah. Yes. That was where i started. Despite having spent part of my college years in broadcasting classes, i am not a camera person. Photography is ~ok~, but i've never been immersed or fascinated by it the way so many are. In a sense, i don't *get it* - to me, a camera is, and has always been, a tool for two purposes and two only: record a snapshot of a moment or event; record a visual impression for later use in making Real Art. (There - that should piss off any photog friends who accidentally stumble across this ;-) i even dropped photography in college because the Process of it was just needless BS complication to me. i don't care about chemicals and exposures and silver papers and all that; i just want a PICTURE, for use as a later tool.

Fast forward to the 21st century. Over this past Yule, i happened to be gifted with two fabulously swell new tools: my little, as-yet-unnamed netbook, and a sweet Nikon CoolPix camera. It was much easier for me to begin using the first; i KNOW what to do with a computer. The second, tho, i had to poke and prod and sniff at a while. i am still finding out things about it (oh shit! that's recording video!! no no stopstopstop) - like, say, how to get pictures off of it and onto the laptop.

i has solved that problem. Behold:

That one's purely gratuitous. There was no reason to take it, except maybe when i don't live here anymore i can look back and Remember. But now that i have Little Toy One and Little Toy Two, i'm thinking that i can put them together here. Not so much in this post, tho that was my first intention (see previous post for Teh Art). But as a way of documenting this whatever-it-is i do, the things my muse demands of me.

i am, my life is, an ongoing experiment in art and magick. "We set out to change the world and only wound up changing ourselves". People who know me as the Celestial Mother or some goofy old hippie lady don't know that i am a *very* determined and driven fishie. My persistence is subtle.. i've been known to say i'm too dumb to know when i'm beaten and should fall down, so i just keep on pressing forward. i think this is the major reason i'm still standing, still somehow not dead, somehow not permanently screwed. Tho i go with Daevid Allen on that one: You Never Blow Your Trip Forever. Or to use a completely unrelated quote, Nothing is *very* bad.

This blog, then, careens wildly in all directions. It may be about art, it may be about magick, it may be about the hedgebear as winter king having a shadow because he is still mortal and must battle winter another six weeks. It may be about the vortex tribe or my gnome collection

(except for the little one holding a pole that used to be a rake, those aren't the GOOD gnomes. They're stuck in storage limbo) or the little guys in my china cabinet who aren't gnomes but are certainly their friends

or how it is i can be a big fan of Charles DeLint but am finding War For The Oaks rather twee. All of which are about the *same* thing, really, but its a game of Spot Your Lucky Warts to figure out what it is.

And if you do, would you please tell me? I'd kinda really like to know..

2010-01-31T23:09:00.002-05:00

Picture pages, picture pages, start your day with picture pages, lots of fun with cameras and with pixels!

Yesterday, Saturday, i went over to the theater to help prep the season brochure mailer. Fortunately, we had an accidentally-collated box of mailers, so we didn't have to do that. But we DID have to affix return-address labels, mailing labels, and stamps to over 1,000 envelopes.. stuff them with mailers.. add inserts about the upcoming benefit (Vegas Royale Spectaculare, Feb 20th, Lounge Kitty and Martini Five-Oh baby, yeah).. seal the envelopes and put them in a box. My work area looked like this:

Note the Rome to Milano trivet in the background, a souvenir from last year's season closer, Ouroborous. That took most of my afternoon.

When i left, i decided to head down to Steelyard, see if i could get some things i needed at Deal$. On my way down the drive, i was struck by the lovely view over the remaining bit of actual steelyard industry. AND i remembered i now have this spiffy camera (see the post before, or maybe after, this one). i couldn't take a pic while driving, so i parked over by the T-Mobile store, got out, and hiked back up to Quigley - i think that's Quigley. It was pretty effing crisp out. i had to put my hoodie up to keep my ears from freezing. My boots were not made for winter hiking. It was awesome. And here's the pic i took:

When i got home, i made dinner. Tai Pei frozen garlic shrimp with extra vegetables added by me. Half of what the carryout Chinese cost the night before, healthier, equally as tasty. i am, however, not yet so pathetic as to take a picture of my augmented frozen dinner, so you have to imagine that part. After dinner, i fiddled and putzed and doo-dah-ed around the house for the rest of the night. Those who follow my twitter stream know that i'm trying to make myself paint again - yes, this is an undertaking. i've got Things in the way of doing that, but i am trying to clear them out and get back to it.

Naturally, because it is me and i am Complex, the piece that has gotten past my internal logjam is demanding to be Complex too. i *want* (i think?) to be doing simpler pop-art pieces. i have at least one in mind with a self-imposed deadline on it. i have Ideas for half a dozen pieces. This is what's on the board.

You'll note no actual paint is involved here. And its on a shitty cheap canvas board from AG thats been in storage for twenty years. Trust me, if i decided No, i Must Stretch Real Canvas, NOTHING would ever move forward here again. i have this stuff coz my dad used to work for them (er - make that *thirty* years in storage??). i am not Saving it for anything. What is my excuse?

Last night i also decided to randomly google for a recipe for vegan corned beef. i found one. i found out i have all (well, almost all) the ingredients. i also have everything i need for a New England boiled dinner, aka corned beef and cabbage, which is so much a favorite i ask my mom to make it for my birthday and indulge once a year in actual corned beef (despite popular belief, i have not been a vegetarian for well over a decade. But i was for so long before that its really all i know how to cook). So round about 2 am i decided to start making this. It also did not get a picture taken of it, because an uncooked gluten loaf is not the most visually appealing thing on earth, let's say, and i pay attention to CakeWrecks. Don't you?

Today i got up and decided to finish the boiled dinner in the crock pot. Only my auxiliary kitchen counter has reverted to its secret identity as drafting table. What to do? Well, here's the solution.

See the crockpot? See the steam that is not rising out of it? For the past two hours i've been checking and poking it and wondering if its finally bought the farm because it was Not Getting Hot.

Then i plugged it in.

And with that, dear cats and kittens, i must away. i have an Event to manage in an hour; it might be a good idea to prepare, ya think? Love ya. Truly. Mwaah.

Space Mother tribe

2010-01-24T19:02:00.001-05:00

Not long enough slow Sunday. i have to perform tonight - Audio-Visual Baptism 12, at Now That's Class - and i know, *know*, i'm not prepared. Of course i've done the glasswalking enough times i can about do it in my sleep; that part doesn't really worry me. Maybe it should; tho my feet are always tough, the depths of winter don't quite condition them properly (for those who don't know, glasswalking consists of me walking a six-foot tray of broken beer bottles and then jumping off a stepladder into it for a finale).

But i'm more concerned about the rest of the act - do i add some accordion, if so what; not having touched the thing in months until a day or two ago. Never having any songs really *learned* and certainly none rehearsed. And of course, the crisis nearest a costumer's heart: What to Wear?? Normally i LIVE in tights in winter, but i need to be able to get barefoot quickly, so those are out. i don't have to wear anything special at all, of course, but it is sort of part of the whole routine. And if i put together An Outfit, will that also require painting my face? That sounds like so much work. But i am kind of fond of some modified commedia facial art. Probably won't decide til i'm there.

Of course, the reason i don't feel like doing any of this today is that last night was a night out w/my wild grrlz. Women (womyn, wimmin) 40 and above, with roots in the punk scene, colorful pasts and *still* colorful present.S. Right now we are a small tribe but could easily double and triple in size, as each of us could potentially bring in three or four more who 'really should' be there. For right now, tho, we're a small tribe of fierce wimmin who go out terrorizing the locals, or at least hijacking random karaoke bars. Naturally, this requires the consumption of a certain amount of alcohol.. while i amazingly do NOT feel particularly hungover today - the quantum effects of proximity to so much coolness? - i still do not feel at the top of my game.

Which is why i'm sitting here in my bathrobe writing this instead of getting my act together for someplace i have to be in an hour. Dear me. Someone shall have to spank me. And on that note..

To-Done list

2010-01-23T04:29:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a good day, a high energie day. Yesterday i:

put in a job application at a place i have a good feeling about;

picked up a friend's pupster who needed puppy-sat for the day;

took the pupster to my water brother's house; we were trading off (sharing?) puppy custody;

got coffee at Civilizations and used their wi-fi;

worked at the Free Clinic;

met my water brother at Edison's, where i had some difficulty persuading him pupster needed to go home;

wound up hanging out at said bro's house for a while, eating dinosaur-shaped chickn nuggets and watching Popaganda: the Art Crimes of Ron English;

finally took the tired pupster back to his momma;

had a nice long conversation w/puppy-momma about creativity and other good stuff.

Today was not yesterday.

i did:

take down and put away my Yule tree;

clean up my worktable almost all the way;

sweep the kitchen;

knock a couple smaller things off my to-do list;

spend too much time on Facebook;

pick up the accordion for a minute and depress myself with how out of practice i am;

drag myself out to Dollar(and twenny-nine cent) Paradise, where i at least got grapefruit juice, yum;

stop at Pat Catan's for some fairy lights and teeny silk roses to make up for the Yule lights being down;

lose my leopard gloves :-( ;

pick a really bad time to stop by the bookstore;

but still make arrangements to hold an initial discussion group for the workshops i plan to give;

have the gremlin cat suddenly locate a belt i've been looking for for months;

listen to all the Coil i own;

answer a difficult email;

do some laundry;

get some things written that i needed to get said;

fail at getting to bed before 4 a.m.
which may sound like a lot but still feels very unproductive. Tomorrow i will try to do better, or at least feel better about what i do.

The End.

Village Witcheries

2010-01-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

Y helo thar blogspot. We has not spoked at each other in a while. No point now in trying to say why; Now is the only thing that's Real, as Uncle Chuck would remind me. Where's now?

Now is two years away from 2012. Now is a world in which half the people i know don't have jobs and half of those who do are underemployed or hate what they're doing. Now is a world in which our national resources have been and are being squandered by the fistful in pursuit of the dead dreams of cold-war kids grown to treacherously myopic adulthood. Now the robber barons grow fat and gluttonous on our despair. Now is a moment - THE moment - in which we can, we must make a change.

Now, viewed through one set of lenses, is pretty effing grim - but i don't wear those glasses. What is reality? A peacock on a darkened winter lawn? Perhaps. The edges of reality seem to me to fray and tatter the closer we look. Of course there are those, those same selfish aging children, who prefer we never get close enough to the worn and ravelled bits to notice. They dangle an endless parade of Shiny Bits and String, luring us back to the cable corrals constructed to keep the sheeple penned and hemmed. Is there any safe thing we can stream from the idiot box? i wonder. i fail to trust anything too mass produced, taking the Smiley Face Principal as my guide: the more pieces there are of a thing, the more its energies are dissipated. Ov course a symbol can also be a 'physical' repository for emotional charging, so no matter how many swastikas there are, for instance, they're unlikely to ever become as trite as the Golden Arches.

But Now, another set of lenses are at hand. While the world is no more likely to end Dec 21, 2012 than at Y2K or Oct. 22, 1844, the potential for it to *change* is strongly at hand - if for no other reason than people expect it to. Whether enough people expect this strongly enough to create any true and lasting change is very much open to speculation - but for the sake of argument, i am going to proceed As If it were possible.

"Once - Majik was real, and thee Veil between the worlds was thin. And our people of the shadow worlds, the dream realms and fantasy dimensions dwelled in the woodlands, oceans, and ancient ruins of this world. They called us angels, faeries, demons or fair folke. We gave inspiration to the humans so that they may be creative: we are the dream-makers, the shadow weavers, the myth-catchers.

Now, as the natural world dies and humans lose their faith in magic, we are retrating back to our home worlds or shifting for a short time into changelines. For we see that humans no longer believe. And when magic dies, the Dreaming dies; and when the Dreaming dies, so does all the beauty of this world both dark and light. When magic goes out of this world, we go with it - and while you may not notice our passing, you shall know that we are gone by the greyness, the drab sameness of your world in our absence.

We do not wish to leave this world to its tears, its greyness. We therefore invite you to join us in a short yet sacred ritual containing magic both beautiful and ghastly. It matters not whether what you see are illusions or of the supernatural. Only Belief is important. Only Belief can keep the Dreaming alive."

Is this story Real? Is a thought of a unicorn a Real thought? (And what *about* those colorless green ideas, hm?) The fact is, as we discovered on the train, man, tomorrow never really happens. Its all the same fucking day, man. Yeah i lifted that too, but its an early version (to me) of the same truth. Who is the artist that makes the grass green? And what color is an orange, really?

It is in pursuit of the answers to these and other questions that i follow the flickering will-o-the-wisp that dares to call itself my destiny. i have stepped off a cliff, in perfect love and graveyard dust, in trust a cartoon cloud would rise beneath my feet. As long as i *believe* myself to be walking on solid ground, i am able to cross thee abyss. Is this True? Does it matter? Tho five minutes from now i may fall to lose it all, right now, just for today, this minute, this instant that shall never come again - i am in thee air.

At Samhain i wove a spell. Short and small, i did not complete all the parts that suggested themselves to me for fear of binding. But the shrine i honored and the prayer i spoke seem to have led to subtle yet definite variations - i am more and more certain i no longer inhabit the 'same' universe as this time last year. Of course one could argue that every breath creates a new world; but this is the far side of the butterfly effect. eXistenZ is not paused, but i have left a game within a game within. i need not name here thee energies i have invoked; one may look at me and judge, or ask me in the heart of the vortex. Suffice to say i feel thee dark hand ov chance steering me towards a stranger, truer, more active path than i have walked before.

i choose and guide as ever by signs and portents. A strong one - too strong, perhaps? - fell literally a week before the Solstice; an omen i've yet to fully interpret. i know only that i am Called ever more strongly: manifest-manifest-manifest. That my absurd and lunatic optimism must carry me every furthur on - and so, somehow, it does. At every turn, fall of near-crisis, something comes through and i am granted one more cloud, travel that much closer to thee far side ov this abyss. Only Belief is important, and the more i allow mySELF to believe, the more Belief itself is - sufficient.

My way now weaves a path i have not yet walked. It runs not so beside the track i walked before, tho' that still lies near (only two days away). i do not Know already where this path may lead; it is unlike thee other, unlike any other i've danced - but dance it i must. i could shy and hie me away, back to the safety of the known - but i would lose the cloud that carries me forward. My fingers know this better than i. By making this choice with eyes as open as i can, i seem also to have accessed something new. Something true. Thee ability to make things happen on a scale i've not dared touch - and perhaps beyond that, to a scale i don't yet dare perceive (but have, in sleepless dream). Time was - time is - time shall be no more.

i don't believe that has anything to do with this post directly, other than i'm listening to Current 93, Coil, Zoviet France as i write. Then again - perhaps it does. Perhaps as i step off, and step off, and step off into ever-deeper (yet narrower) abysses, to fall more slowly and less far each time; perhaps time is turning in to space.

i am become the Village Witch. For a particular village and a particular tribe; tho i've allegiances with other tribes and from time to time i have obligations to fulfill with them as well. This holiday season tested and proved both those things: as is ever the case, my presence was requested more places than i could manage to be. Well, that's social gadfly normal; but this year it seemed that i was tending to, and celebrating with, my flock at every turn.

Claiming this title feels arrogant to me; o right. What makes *me* thee old wise womyn - after all, its not like i'm the only pagan in the neighborhood. Certainly not the most initiated. And how do i even KNOW i am; just cause i've not encountered another? i don't, quite honestly. In fact, to my eyes there are unsuspected sages more places than you'd think; but they're unsuspected. Whereas i'm Out There, and the more i state this for the record, the more the universe/my tribe seems to be taking me up on it.

And so the road goes ever on. i lead a life of music, dance, spirit, theater and art, in thee absurd belief that i SHOULD be able to do so; that this is Just and Right and will somehow fall into place because. In the Now of wolf-thought, i have let go and let God/dess, and this is where S/He has brought me. One foot extended in the snake dance.

2009-12-05T19:43:00.001-05:00

grr. still cant log in to FB from my phone. i got a confirmation code, but can't put it in from here cuz of Technical Issues. Maybe just as well.. or not!!

2009-11-28T19:23:00.001-05:00

Edison's Pub has now been properly Christma-fied. Whee.

2009-11-20T19:23:00.001-05:00

It's not art until it makes me bleed. One way or another. Sometimes i think the literal way is better than the virtual.

2009-11-11T15:32:00.001-05:00

4got my phone 2day. Too many projects going on @once. Theater Mac being ultrawonky. Thank th Gods 98% is already loaded 2 the soundboard PC!

2009-11-10T14:15:00.001-05:00

back to the sound mines. If i turn back i'll be the death of you..

2009-11-07T15:41:00.001-05:00

guess my prev update didn't post :-p Tech officially over 4 today; the soundfiles that WORKED have been approved, so thats some relief. Now to edit a 43min Colorforms piece down to about a minute.. (*lots* of experimental/noise in this soundscape!) http://ping.fm/g9Yi6

2009-10-26T19:12:00.001-04:00

RIP Patty Dolan. One more candle to light on Saturday. :-(

ping pong headache

2009-08-13T18:31:00.000-04:00

It is time and past time for the tides to shift again. i sense them coming in.. too soon to feel, to see or smell; but they announce their arrival all the same. Everything is due to shudder, re-align itself into new patterns. And i am nervous, not knowing where they will fall. Where i will land when they do.

i have been riding a witch-wave, trying to surf the currents. To land in El Mundo Bueno. Surely a way exists to find it, surely there is some break, something that can take me safely through to where i belong - but i have not yet found it, and my time grows short. i know that i am on the path, headed in the right direction. Just not yet there. How do i find it, how do i break through to where i need to be?

i cannot follow where the crow flies, though i may speak with them as messengers. i am still Between, neither wholly of that world nor this. Its not that i wish to leave this world behind - i am not seeking that, not exactly. No, it is my path and choice to bring that world to this one, to shape and change the world around me so that it more closely resembles the places i go beyond the wall of sleep.

And the patterns are shifting. i have been on this cusp before, or one very like it - and yet not the same. The last time i was here it was darker, denser, the way ahead far less clear. Now - now i can see the places where things have re-aligned themselves. Old obstacles have melted, though the toughest still remain. i hold on to hope, Nothing Left But Faith to see me through. i always land on my feet somehow; but not without leaning hard on others to maintain my balance. Too much on some as those i sense 'should' be there duck away. Perhaps that is a failing of my senses.

By my touchstones, the subtle rhythm of the tides, messages in bird calls, secret directions in the pages of fiction, i'm on a road - i'm on The Road. i feel my luck could change, If. How much do i dare? i am not completely throwing down to Fate, walking away and passively waiting for the silver carpet to unroll at my feet. i navigate by faith and trust and instinct; they steer me generally in the right direction but not without bumping into rocks and tearing my fins on sharp knuckles. Sometimes i think i don't trust enough and sometimes that i trust too much - or in the wrong places.

i swim as the currents ebb and flow around me, comb out my hair on the rocks, and sing what i can. i have all stories to tell, and none. i have shored up my sand castle with pebbles, but winter promises to be early and bleak. Every lifeline i think i have found ripped away. i shall not drown, that avenue closed to me. i have seeded, and there is growth, but will the harvest be enough to sustain me? Majik demands my time, but will it honour the bargain i seek to strike? Too many questions. i must dive, and see where i surface next.

wedding carnage

2009-07-13T14:51:00.000-04:00

Lordy what a day. Me and twenty or so of my sisters (including my pals Sue, Carol, Deb and Holly) all got hitched to our cousins yesterday. Sadly, not a single groom lived to see his wedding night: "there's been a slaughter here". Blood all over the field. Now i know what it must've been like to be a maenad.

No, no, sade hasn't finally gone off the deep end and lived up to my namesake. This was all in the spirit of fun. And Theater. Acting. Thank You. Big Love (no relation to the show) opens in two weeks. Even if we *wanted* to have fifty brides and grooms onstage, as implied in the script, the Liminis just isn't that big - so we added a virtual cast of extras.

And what a hoot! We had around two dozen couples, guys in suits and girls in everything from full wedding gowns to bridal nightgowns to white cocktail gowns to oh hell, any old white dress will do! We got hitched - against *our* feminine wills, i might add - by a priest of indeterminate denomination. We had a big fat (authentic) Greek wedding dance. A few lucky couples got to cut the lovely cake, which was gaily trimmed with blood-red roses. A few more couples got in on it for a full-on food fight. We all drank (faux) shots and danced again, which turned into a mosh pit; and then a ridiculously fun pile-up, everyone on top of everyone else.

Alas after that those poor brave fellows were butchered. We had so much blood flying around that field, our cameraman had to stop and wipe his lens coz he couldn't see what he was shooting! Every bride had a different weapon - a couple grooms were just knifed but the rest fell to any tool we could find. Crowbar, hack- and handsaw (both weilded by the same vengeful bride), ax, etc. i chopped mine up with a machete. Mark got screwed to death with a big old shoulder-brace drill. Big Daddy had his hand lopped off by a kitana, and Shawn had both his arm and foot sawed off. There were body parts strewn everywhere, and gore-spattered brides laughing and carrying on despite the carnage.

When it was all over, we had cake for everyone and hosed sticky, bloody participants down on the sidewalk. Several of the blood-soaked brides and their reanimated corpse husbands went down to the Tap House for Bloody Marys. i had to pass on that as i was helping finish cleaning up - amazingly, the dummy cake parts all survived; tho they're a little worse for wear. Haven't quite figured out how i'm going to clean those for our gracious cake baker Dee - maybe she knows some trade secrets?

It was tiring being out in the sun all afternoon, and then i went and jumped in my friend's pool and lazed around for an hour after; so by nighttime i was preeeetty well worn out. Was supposed to spin at the Duck but i didn't really consider how much this would take out of me - well, it wasn't clear that i was even going to BE a bride until the last minute. Originally the shoot was going to be Saturday, but it stormed Sat morning and we were concerned about the cameras in the rain - not to mention that even once it stopped, it would have been MUDDY, and slippery, and really humid on top of hot. This way worked out better, but some people (like Sarah, who had a matinee show at Bang and Clatter) had conflicts and couldn't make it Sunday. Fortunately she and i apparently wear the same size in wedding dresses, so it all worked out.

Curiously enough, by Sunday evening several of our unfortunate intended seem to have gotten the Frankenstein jolt, so there were a few zombie grooms spotted wandering around Tremont. i ran into a couple undead at Corissa's CD release, which seems to have drawn at least half the population of Tremont down to Lucky's. It was a beautiful evening for that too - nights have been balmy, warm enough to be outside but not *hot*, and everyone was enjoying the lovely night on their patio. Only after writing this did i realize this was our midsummer gather, or perhaps the last one in a week or so of festivity. Not Last One Evar sort of thing, more like a peak that brought everyone out like an old-time church supper.

i love being able to be part of what is functionally a small town where everyone knows everyone else - but its not like oh, there's old drunk Otis from down the block, and here comes Charlie, we all know he's a little nuts, and don't let Zeke catch you talkin to his old lady or he'll bust your face. Instead its all artists and musicians and creative people; and when we all get together like we did tonight, the energie generated is, well, really positive. Not trying to say there's never any drama - in a small town, everybody knows everybody else's business. But on the whole people are really open and supportive of each other, even if any one person's thing may not be your particular cup of kombucha. i'm honored to be counted a part of that, a village elder.

And that, my good people, is how i spent this lovely Sunday in July. i hope you all got to or will get to do something equally as uplifting with one of your summer Sundays. This has been one of those days i'll happily look back on the rest of my life.

Half a Horrible Holiday

2009-07-06T15:01:00.001-04:00

i have my Issues w/the Fourth of July. There are reasons for that, but also reasons not to - i *have* enjoyed it in the past; i need to connect with those associations and not more recent, ugly ones. It came up in conversation Sat. night that it can be one of those dates, like New Years Eve, when one might pause and reflect back on where they were in previous years and take stock. i suppose one could make a case for those two being our secular equivalents to the solstices.

i wasn't particularly thinking about it one way or the other coming in to it, other than to not really be paying much attention. Which may have a lot to do with why the early part of the day was really good for me. We had a theater party out east, at the home of the folks i was house-sitting for. It was a nice, relaxed gather, with FAR too much good food , yummy martinis, entertainment, and a pool. Fun, but not ~quite~ warm enough to be relaxing. It was good exercise, but i got a chill which took a while to shake. i also shot a black powder gun, something i've never done, and wouldn't have CONSIDERED four years ago. i had fun and wasn't at all bothered by the noise or explosions, at least that i could tell then.

i gave a couple folks a ride back to town; we were heading downtown as the city display was going off, and that was fine too. This is probably the first year i've been able to watch fireworks and not be bothered by them since i don't know when. Dropped one of them off and then went on to the big Tremont/Ohio City bash where Mr. & Ms. Everyone were going. i knew going in that this was a rooftop party, but thought nothing of it. Why should i?

Various factors: When i arrived, a cranky toddler was at the top.. i thought he was scared to come down, but it turned out he wanted to do it HIMSELF, and did - so i'm watching this very small boy come down a rather unsafe climb. Other people up there were also suffering vertigo, and/or stress over going back down the scary ladder. i was already a bit physically worn out, and a bit psychically open. And we were three stories up, slightly higher than nearby buildings. The view of downtown was gorgeous, actually, but i couldn't appreciate it. The retaining walls really weren't, merely crenelations. The roof was grey, soft, slightly pitched, and it was just past twilight. All of which added up to one major panic attack for me.

i got down before it really hit, but then i was at a fairly large party, with very few people i knew. It turned out that this was actually a *neighbor's* party being held in tandem, and the folks i knew better had moved to the other one - only i didn't know where that was. From there on, it just didn't get any better. What i needed was to get the hell out of there, go somewhere i felt Safe and could ground; but i couldn't easily do that. People are used to me being someone who keeps it all together, blah blah blah, and i had Responsibilities.

Parts of the party were alright too tho.. Being there didn't *suck*, but it was too much of a fête for me to be able to relax and get grounded again. Oh, and my eye - i'd managed to get ground clove on my contact lens (don't ask) so my eye was already irritated, and the later it got, the more i needed to get the irritation out of there like, yesterday. Alas i had agreed to play taxi. With an eye that was by then so gummed up my vision was *badly* blurred. Through one of the more urban parts of town. On the night of a big party holiday when cops are everywhere.

Are we surprised that by the time i finally, finally got home, i was a total wreck? This is already long enough so i won't detail all the various stress factors that are lurking and will soon have to be Dealt With, but suffice to say every single one of them came crashing in on me. At some point i guess exhaustion finally won out. i know i managed to fall asleep, because a *very* late night text woke me up. And once awake, i realized that i smelled something burning.. not food or paper, but Large Wooden Something, like, a house. My whole apartment smelled like Starwood on a Saturday night. There was a fairly catastrophic explosion & house fire in Tremont just a couple weeks ago, so one more thing for my over-over-stressed and freaked out system to worry about. i never did figure out where it was, only that it wasn't *here* or close enuf to affect me, so somehow exhaustion managed to shut me down enuf to sleep.

All of which means i was generally pretty useless at set build. Fortunately we'd had a good turnout, so me being 98% useless today wasn't too much of an issue. i was gifted a massage and some energy work, and finally did make it over to my good friends' yard & pool, and a relaxing afternoon in the sunshine.

All in all, i'm on my way back to alright now, and of course i'm from the What Doesn't Kill Me school so - this too shall pass. Maybe next year the 4th will be just happy and relaxing like it is for other people. i almost got there this year; it was a good beginning and a good end. But that middle part went way too heavy on the suck for me.

2009-06-28T12:57:00.001-04:00

set strike @ theater. Car still in shop; got jello bicycle legs. Big Love is going to be big; save a weekend in Aug to see it! http://ping.fm/aCey6

Crow's Tree

2009-06-18T16:57:00.000-04:00

If you are reading this, you're probably already aware that we lost brin metzendorf (aka madbunny, aka Samual Crow Walker), a valued member of many of Cleveland's edgier arts scenes, last month. This past weekend, a number of his friends and associates gathered in Tremont's Lincoln Park to plant a living memorial to him.

If you go to the gazebo in the center of the park and then head down the path leading directly out to West 14th street, you'll notice three younger trees on the left-hand side. The middle one of these, a cherry tree set farther back, is his tree. Crows like cherries, you know; and its a rather tall and skinny tree, for a tall and skinny fellow.

i'd like to ask people who are in and around Tremont to stop by from time to time. Whether walking your dog, catching some rays, or just relaxing on an afternoon, take a little detour to visit. Bring some water if it hasn't rained lately, but bring something else too. Bring the things you'd tell brin if you could. What are you up to lately, what are you working on, what have you accomplished? Play some music, read it a poem, work on a sketch beneath the branches. Consider it a sort of mailbox where you can drop off messages - and who knows, maybe receive some as well.

i know that not everyone who reads this will share my beliefs and ideas about things beyond the known, but that's ok. This can still be just a nice spot in the park, a living thing that needs all of our care and attention to thrive. But if you have Belief - and i know that brin himself did - it can also be something More. There are many things a Tree of Tales can mean, many ways it can manifest. i have my vision; i hope you all will add yours. And most of all, pass the message along. This spot may be most special to those who knew and loved him, but the idea is one that can grow past even his wide circle of influence.

Thanks, folks. To everyone who came out and helped plant, and everyone who will continue to nurture both the tree and the legacy brin left behind. And if you'd like to discuss any of the deeper concepts implied here, i can often be found on the patio at Edison's, at the theater, or sitting outside Civilizations. Just ask for the village witch.

Festival drop

2009-06-18T16:54:00.000-04:00

oh look. a computer. *my* computer, that is; which i've not used nor looked at in days. Been on other ones, primarily the windoze machine that runs the lighting board software. And a bit online as FB/myspz/twitter friends know. But not where i could sit and think in pixels uninterrupted.

So. yes. Currently suffering from a bad case of festival drop, or near as dammit. We put on one HELL of a show/party Sat. night. Depending on where i post this, some of you may even have been there. For those that weren't, well. i kept saying beforehand that afterwards people would/will be saying Damn, sorry i missed it; i'm expecting that even more now as word gets around. While it didn't go off flawlessly - at least one major technical hiccup, though it didn't interfere w/running the show - the flaws were of the sort that only the run crew would be aware of. For everyone else, it was an amazingly good time.

Should some be out of the loop, we did a major concert/performance/video shoot at the MC warehouse Sat. night, attended by over a hundred of our closest friends. The space belongs to bass player Frank, who realized somewhere along the way that this was his version of a midlife crisis. Glad he figured that out on his own; i wasn't going to break it to him lol ;-} Srsly, tho, if ya gotta have one, what a way to go about it. We have a stage thats inspired by the bridge of the starship Enterprise, 1960s version. We have a lightshow that maybe isn't quite Pink Floyd at the Stadium c.1978 - but knocks socks off some local concert clubs.We had four bands, tho two of them were different configurations of the Center for Rock Research, which in turn shared members with the other two (RYDR and Morticia's Chair). We had props, costumes, skits between bands and an overall concept underlying the whole thing. And one HELL of a good time putting it all together.

At this point, the days and nights have rolled into one for me; i'd have to consult my dayrunner to figure out what days i *wasn't* there. i think i lived there from Thurs thru Sunday; tho was i there Weds night too? i was, just don't recall where (if?) i slept. Several marathon sessions on the lighting console - i'm not ready to go pro with the thing by a long shot; otoh, i can now program a basic lightshow, which i couldn't do a month ago. And after staying up all night a couple nights in a row, i've gotten to where i'm itching to move on to intermediate level.

It was very apparent to me that the last songs in MC's set were much better lit than the first; evidence of my learning curve in action. i didn't even get to rehearse running their cues til they were live on stage - the drummer's had health issues, so their Weds. night practice was to the drum track of recent recordings, and i wrote cues listening to studio versions on an iPod. CRR fared better, as Frank had a bit more time to design some truly gorgeous lighting for the Radiohead set, much of it timed and themed to match the music. Their Rush set, well, matched the band name; but Matt got put in charge of running that and i think he was better up to responding to playing the console on the fly. Me, i need cuesheets unless i REALLY know the material - like i do w/ MC.

But now what? Well, car repair alas - aside from the audio glitch, the only other snafu of the evening was that someone tried to jack my car late Sat. after it was all over. i honestly don't recall leaving my window open enuf to fit an arm thru, nor my passenger door unlocked; but i must've done one or the other as that's how i found it. At least they were able to get in w/out breaking any windows. They smashed my ignition w/a brick but only succeeded in knocking the module out of the steering column; fortunately, they weren't then able to use the screwdriver trick to get it going; or else were interrupted, don't know which. Either way, the car was still there, not a thing stolen, only damage the ignition module. We can pop it back in and get the engine to turn over but it won't stay running; some internal failsafe i guess. Don't yet know if i can get just that fixed or if its going to mean the whole steering column; hoping the former coz its not like i have bucks to throw at car repair just now :-\

However, Big Love beckons - yeah, not that kind, don't get your hopes up ;-p Big Love is the summer play; rehearsals began last week so as of tonite i'm back at the theater every evening there isn't a performance. i'm housesitting over this weekend, which will mean unlimited access to internet; tho with this self-imposed fast, i find that after checking all main accounts & sites and doing a few updates, i'm too bored to sit around looking at anything else (the main reason i'm no longer active on Living Room Salon; i'd really prefer to hold conversations live and in person). Hoping i get called for an interview this week, tho if that can wait til after i have a car again, it'd be nice. i did have a phone interview last week so its not entirely wishful thinking.

Now, tho, i've a bike tire to put air into, a garden to check in on, stuff to do at the library, then eventually make my way to Tremont one way or another. All of which will have happened, in theory, by the time this posts. And the next thing i know it'll be Solstice, which already has several competing demands on my time; followed by Somebody's birthday weekend and ditto; then July 4th and - uh-yah, ditteaux it is. Which leaves one whole week before i fly to Colorado to surprise my folks, see my broheim and my aunt, uncle, and cousins. Who, aside from parents and brother, i haven't seen in - twenty years? Or so? Then Big Love opens when i get back and runs thru August and then summer's over and i'll be booking into fall before that happens. For somebody who was never too good with time to begin with, my concept has gotten both more flexible and more precise at once.

Anyhoo. Sounds like Bloo is repairable - magician to the rescue! - so i need to shower, dress, and make like a tree. Laterz, good people. Love ya all.

kick that habit man

2009-06-08T16:36:00.001-04:00

So the staying off the computer exercise is having interesting results. i've been internet-dependent for about fifteen years now, which has become an expensive habit. i'm not missing that aspect of it. However, having set myself a 'job' that requires i be online - well, that part's a little more complicated.

To an extent, i'm doing what i did in Conneaut; getting everything written and ready to go at home, then uploading it all the next time i'm online. But with the lack of home internet, i find i have less use for the computer overall, or perhaps less interest. And when i'm not sitting in this chair, i'm - brace yourself - doing other things. Of such matters my w00t is made.

Which might sound like i am now ooh, productive; but one of the things i'm doing is reading books again so that mitigates it a bit. But i can look around and see tangible results. After two years, i am now settled in to my apartment and have it fairly well tweaked into a live/work space; at the same time (are you *sure* that moon's not in Gemini?!)(no, but its opposing it) i have lived in ways that were so far from optimal for working for so long i've forgotten how to be here to take advantage of it.

Another reason i'm on a computer-restricted diet right now is that i've had this notion kicking around for a while of picking up the life i left off living in the 70s. Or perhaps i mean living the life now that i envisioned i would one day live then. Of course i haven't built my own Art House out in the woods somewhere, but then again i've come to realize that unless it was in a woodland community of like-minded art people who i really get along with well, i wouldn't want to live that way now.

But in terms of being an Art Bitch a la CSS? Hrm, actually i'm sure they're hardly computer-free! Well, some synthesis, then. How *did* i live when i didn't have this little box plugged in between me and the world? It certainly wasn't boring then. Hell, a good many of my Adventures took place before i ever let this innocent little device take over my life. And the upside of all this is that i find i am connecting with the world again - not that i'd gotten disconnected, but i engaged less with the world around me. "No i never will neglect my world again." That's a line from the Tear Garden, who are the only thing i've been listening to other than 2112 and OK Computer for weeks (except for the occaisional dose of NPR). Another thing programming my headspace right now.

The important part about all this, tho, is that i *am* making things happen. Positive things. This is an experiment in programming the human biocomputer though i forget which circuit - the highest three always confused me a bit. Each seemed rather like the others; but i've also assumed that they were states one had to experience to really understand. i can say i feel i'm somewhere that isn't the first five which is really good enough for me. If i were online right now, i'd be googling a link to the Leary-Wilson Eight Circuit Model for readers who aren't familiar; but you're going to have to do that for yourselves, sisters and brothers.

As for me, i have to make use of the time i am allowing myself with this machine. i used to use it as a different sort of tool before the ubiquituous net infected it (me?). i'm working on reclaiming those ways now. Some people may be bemused to learn that i'm going backwards in operating systems to do so - i don't have the evil microsquash suite o'doom on here so i'm using Appleworks like i always did, and that has to run under OS9 'Classic'. My rant about that hasn't really changed - i found it a more productive way to use the computer than OSX for all its bells and whistles - but i'm acclimated now. (Insert snarky comment about my first experience with Vista tonight here).

And that, as they say in show business, means i'm outta here. i do check in nearly every day, so if there's anything you want to point my attention to, ping me direct. Hope your summer's off to as inspiring a start as i hope & feel mine is. Catch ya later, tweeps.

Working Things Out in Groups

2009-06-01T21:42:00.001-04:00

First day of June and i started the day by closing my windows, turning on the heat, and crawling back under the covers until it was warm enuf to get out of bed. Doesn't bode well for a long hot summer, which everyone seems to be expecting somehow. Haven't consulted the almanac but my breath, i am not holding it.

So i am currently engaged in the experiment of living an internet-free life. OK, i haven't given it up *completely*; witness this blog. But my use has become minimal - check email, Facebook, maybe myspace; banking and bills and i'm out. i'm not reading Twitter, Walls, message boards, articles, other blogs - i'm reading books. And doing stuff.

It seems a logical progression, somehow. i've been actively on line for about sixteen years, now. And i think the internet, for me, has hit that wall that all the mega-apps ran into around the turn of the century - its now been tweaked right up to its capacity; anything truly new will have to come from some sort of breakthrough. Some way of using it that hasn't happened until now. Social media, of course, wants to be that breakthrough. Its got potential. Alas for it, it arrives at a time when i realize i'd just rather be out there living my life than sitting in front of a computer screen writing about it. Even in 140 character blurbs.

So what am i doing with all this fabulous life i now have time to lead? Doing what i do best, of course: keeping busy. i've gotten space in a new community garden that's started a little ways west of here. i need to put a new inner tube in my tire, but i intend to bike over there to work on it a couple mornings a week (if the weather ever warms up). Its gone from vacant lot to - well, garden - in a few short months. There's raised beds, a central herb spiral, compost pile, walkways and a shady seating area. Next week, there's going to be a pot luck which i'm looking forward to because we have a wide ethnic representation, a number of newly immigrated families from various locales.

i'm a big fan of Starhawk's novel "The Fifth Sacred Thing" because it strikes me as a very potentially *workable* utopia (even the politics, tho that's not what i'm talking about here). In it, Northern California has more or less seceded and become its own little functional hippie-socialist nation state. i won't say her ideals are perfect, but they make a hell of a lot more sense than the bloated, unsustainable consumerist model that's bleeding us all dry now. i love this garden, and so many like them, because they Feel like definite steps on the path to that sort of survivable future.

i'm on hiatus from the theater at the moment, or have been; i guess if we have read-thru tonight for the summer show, that's about to end as rehearsals start. Of course the troupe is its own little microcosmic tribe: we've had people pass through and others (like myself, i guess) take root. This month for the first time we lost one of our own with the death of brin metzendorf (aka Samual Crow Walker) who performed under the name madbunny as well. This is a loss i'm still personally processing, so don't care to say too much about here; but i will say that in its aftermath, people seem to be coming together again, making an effort not to let life drift us all apart. Whether ultimately this will result in more than a slew of new Facebook friends its hard to say, but i'm at least enjoying the impulse while it lasts.

Right now, my biggest project is working with Morticia's Chair. We are putting on a show in two weeks - and i don't mean 'hey kids, let's put on a show!' (even if it might trace to exactly that impulse) so much as we are puttin' on a muthafukkin' SHOW, a'ight?? And i just know that afterwards, there's going to be a whole buttload of people saying "Oh, i wish i'd've seen it, it sounds cool, blah de blah blah blah". Well YOU don't have to be one of them; you can go to Center for Rock Research and gitcher ticket raht *now* (June 13th, $10, private party, no sales at door, Midtown area).

Yes i'm pimping this as hard as i can, because we have put as much work into this as any production done at the Liminis. And its on the *scale* of productions there. Without seeing the space, its hard to grasp just how cool this whole damn thing is, so take my word on it, k? And if the fact that CRR is playing ALL of Rush's 2112 *and* ALL of Radiohead's OK Computer *AND* MC is playing *AND* RYDR is opening up *AND* there's skits between - if all that isn't enough, well, this is my very first foray into lighting design and programming, and i'm feeling pretty effing good about it. So ya better show up coz i don't want to have to kick your ass for not being there afterwards. i'm the butch one don't forget, i will, too.

Yeah, i'm excited bigtime about this. i'm jazzed about the show itself, but even moreso at the opportunity its presented me. i know i'm still a ways off from being a "lighting designer" but i feel i've crossed a line where i'm now more that than not. i spent a ten-hour marathon session on the board yesterday that went from Wait, how does this work again; to having fifteen pre-sets programmed in. Given that before we started this, i knew how to hit lighting cues on time *and that's all*, i'm proud of myself. Even more so because this isn't just gels on par cans. We've got LED cans and half a dozen specials (including a lit arch over the 'bridge', floor specials, smoke, and the OK Computer itself) and scanners that can make daisies or stars or pinwheels in damn near any color you like and and and. And and, there's about fifteen different ways to make any given effect happen, so making the transition to where i Grok it is a big one. Its a really good feeling for me, so i hope some friends show up i can show off my hard work to!

You say you want some more, well, here's some more. i'm going to be performing as a living statue at the Murray Hill Art Walk this coming Sunday; another thing i'm excited about. i've done this a couple times (life modelling as well, which i'm also doing once a week) but this is my first gig doing it on my own. i'm thinking to be a sort of Spring/Summer Goddess type figure.. of course if it were authentically Graeco-Roman i'd have to do it w/one breast bared but i think we won't quite go that far. Still, as soon as i write this i'm off to the thrifts in search of costuming. If you're in Cleveland, stop by sometime; i'm supposed to be on the south side of Mayfield just below the hill, hoping it neither rains nor freezes nor gets beastly hot! Hm, i might need a helper to come by and feed me water every so often - who's free on Sunday?

i think that's about got me covered for the next two weeks. We'll be going in to rehearsal on Big Love soon, which opens at the end of July. We're planning a tribute/benefit in brin's memory which will also likely happen end of July. At War for the Forseeable Future will be doing a one-time reunion gig for that show, which i'm highly looking forward to. i'm going to Colorado that month for a family reunion, the first time all of us minus my girls will have been together in twenty-plus years. My family isn't very big; i've got two parents, two kids, one brother, one aunt, one uncle, and two cousins. That's it. So to have eight of the ten of us together is kind of a whoop-de-do. And i'll have a piece in a show at the Asterisk for the July ArtWalk (and probably be set up outside Edison's as well).

Big Love will close at the end of August, and then it will be time to start gearing up for Recycled Rainbow. i'm still planning to run a workshop tent - a Chatauqua - for that, which will mean re-building my pavilion but hey. What's a little thing like that in the larger scale of things? (btw, if you are interested in presenting something - anything - contact me). That's in September, and i'll have another piece in a show at Doubting Thomas that month too. Its only conceptual right now, but it involved ladie's undergarments, so you might want to remember that one.

i probably will have another blog up before i'm through all that, but if you wonder why you aren't hearing from me online - get out from behind your computer and take a look around town. i'm the one doing all those things i wanted to when i was younger but never could "because..". Maybe its time you were too - ?

2009-05-26T23:06:00.001-04:00

garden's in. Lots of good porch parties this weekend. Working on CRR show. Still no internet. Guess that's my update 4 now!

2009-05-18T04:28:00.001-04:00

really Did Not Need Trouble tonite. Even if its making a corvid laugh - i *will* kick your ass when i catch it. That's a promise, my friend.

Un Reve Sans Consequence

2009-05-15T03:44:00.005-04:00

In my mind, a small plane of suspect registry has just landed in Bulgaria. The sole passenger, a tall, taciturn, jet-lagged fellow whose blocky black glasses inexplicably have one lens fogged up exits, a rucksack of clothes on his back, a guitar case in one hand, and a coverless copy of Rossignol's curiously titled tome "Origins of a World War" tucked in his pocket. With a nod to the pilot, he heads off, on foot, away from any sign of civilization. At a barely discernable crossroad miles from the airport, he meets a man whose name consists mostly of consonants and exchanges a few grunts and a complicated series of hand signs; after which he is led to a half-collapsed thatch roof shed invisible from the roadway. There he exchanges a handful of grimy bills and a carton of U.S. smokes for a dilapidated but serviceable motorcycle and a hand-drawn map. And before the dawn breaks, he is on his way..

Some of you know, or have heard, that my dear friend brin - Crow - passed out of this world the other night. He was one of the first two friends i made when i joined the theater, re-introduced me to the experimental music scene, turned me on to the Dresden Dolls, Madame P, Electric Six and Boris, Plastic Crimewave and Celebration. He taught me sound design and basic lessons in automotive mechanics. He brought the iMac i'm posting from back to life after it conked out the third day i owned it and to this day he - and his step-daughter Iris - have user profiles i see every time i log in. He could keep rhythm on a bass drum and tap a snare with the head of the guitar he was playing at the same time. He wore bowler hats with goggles before steampunk was big, tailored jackets and t-shirts over tight bellbottoms, while living in a trailer at the end of an abandoned rail line. Drove a 65 Rambler wagon, or maybe an 84 AMC Eagle on jacked-up wheels, to eat breakfast at the Steel Trolley Diner. He called himself a biker and rode a Honda 750 named Annabelle. He called his band, and sometimes himself, madbunny, and made music that could range from incomprehensible noise (on rollerskates) to gentle dreamy ragas. He understood the dichotomy between growing up in a backwards ohio town and living amongst the arts intelligentsia of a city, and could walk in both those worlds.

Right now i can't fathom that he won't set foot in either one again, not in this form. Farewell, crowboy. i hope the skies are clearer where you're flying now, the guitars give exactly the sound you want and never break a string, and all the classic cars only need worked on when you feel like it.

Squishiando 2009 pt 1

2009-05-05T00:18:00.002-04:00

Squishiando! That, for those who weren't there, is the Secret Code Word for Spoutwood Farm's 2009 Fairie Festival. This event is very near and dear to my heart, in ways i can't begin to express. i realized a bit belatedly that this was my tenth year attending - my ninth as either vendor or performer or both, but ten overall. Wow. And after ten years, i've made some really good friends there, most of whom i get to see only once a year - but they're heart family nonetheless.

Perhaps its because it takes place at Beltane, or May Day, but the Fairie Fest is - something truly magickal. i've got several perspectives on this that are all warring in my head to come out. There's thoughts on theater and ritual; and the fact that this is both literally and metaphorically an annual pilgrammage for me. Perhaps i should face east and pray to Spoutwood? Oh dear, i'm sure that's blasphemy to some. But in my life, it serves a similar function.

One of the things that came home to me this year, is that every year, getting there presents some sort of challenge. Last year might have been one of the fewest - maybe i was sweating whether i'd have a new (to me) car in time; i bought Severin Bloo, my cruiser, just days before i left. Sure couldn't have gotten there and back in Elphie the Taurus. i think the year before worrying if Elphie could manage the trip was issue enough. Car troubles, money woes, health issues - there always seems to be something looming in the weeks before that seem they might prevent me from getting there - but they never do.

This year i arrived late Thurs. evening. Pulled in & up the camping hill, found a spot that turned out to be right next to vendor friends who come out from Indiana for the event. Chatted with them a bit and then ran off to catch the end of the pre-fair bonfire up on Frodo's Hill. Found Greenman Rob, the fest paterfamilias, first; then my pal Cynthia, who i'd met my very first time there in 2000. Walked back to her camp, two down from Beth & Zeeb, the Indiana people. Hung out a bit more then decided i'd better make camp before it got much later.

It was dark, and midnightish, and i, silly faerie that i am, have not owned a functioning flashlight in years. Who cares? i didn't even know for sure which tent i had til i unfolded it (i have two, both blue & grey. But one's much smaller than the other). So i fumbled about in the darkness. The hippie kids partying next to me asked if i needed help.. i suppose it might've looked like i did, but i actually didn't mind being a little out of it and setting up blind. i suppose that could have been frustrating, but why let it? i was at Spoutwood, yay! Tents aren't all THAT challenging, anyway, so i had my nomad home together soon enough.

Pilgrammage and ritual.. the tent is always set up the same. i've owned and lost and broken and misplaced so many camping supplies over the years, yet i manage to get my 'hobbit hole' together: tent tucked under the trees, canopy over top descending to the ground in front, covering a small (i.e., not high enuf to stand in) kitchen. i was Home, and soon enough snuggled warm and dry in bed. Note 'warm' and 'dry'. This will be important later!

Woke Friday early - very early, as it turned out. i got up, made some food, and began assembling my vendor cart. This was one of those, oh sh*t, will i get this together in time? things that came together despite everything just days before - days? It is to laugh! i got it to ok, this will work stage Weds night, mere hours before i left. Didn't turn out like the picture in my head, but what else is new - i couldn't get a power saw to cut the wood to save my life, so hacked the luan literally by hand - hacksaw, handsaw, even used the drywall knife a time or two. Not elegant, but it held up transporting my stuff down the camping hill which was my biggest concern.

i took the same site i had last year. Technically, i'm a strolling vendor; but its neither easy nor necessary to 'stroll' the wagon around so i just park next to Cynthia's booth. Which, go figure, is on a spot they call Mermaid Island. i know, right? (if you *don't* know, i realized being a Pisces means i get to be a mermaid - ever since embracing that identity, mermaids have become Prominent in my life). Got everything set up and ready to go and whee! The heavens opened and down came the rain. Boo. It cleared for a while Fri. afternoon - a good drum circle can do that - but rained again later. Which meant 1) didn't do diddly for sales; 2) i got Wet. Because of course i was silly enuf to just sit by my cart for the most part, huddled into my cloak. Which is pretty good at withstanding moderate drizzle, but after two moderate drizzles, i was decidedly dampish. And having traded my singing voice to walk on land, i no longer appreciate such things the way a mermaid should ;-p

Friday night some of the folks there were holding an Alchemical Fire circle, which is something i've wanted to attend for a while. However, having gotten back up to camp - Spoutwood is nestled between two hills, and camping is on the higher of those - and gotten out of my tutu (i wore my Freakshow costume again, because i could!), i got as far as Camp Hon, and that was that. OK, maybe it technically isn't Camp Hon. i'm not sure, that's just how i think of my friends Kazoo & Ding0's camp. Friday night the Gypsy Nomads were also playing in town, and i'd considered driving in to see them. However, having gotten back up to camp - yeah. Grilled cheese, some awesome fish stew, and a couple bottles of wine later, i suddenly realized it was past midnight and i wasn't going anywhere.

Except back to Cynthia's camp, where folks were sitting round by candlelight doing what gypsy witches do by candlelight. That is, smoke, drink, talk, and play music. Billy Bardo had an i dont quite know what - balalaika, perchance? and i got emboldened to bring out the squeezebox. We jammed for a time, sat and smoked and talked a while longer; but eventually the lure of bed was too much to pass up. And so ended the first night of festival. Yeah, this is going to be a long post. Or maybe not - open mic at the Duck is calling me, so perhaps i'll break this off now and type up the rest as separate entries. Sure. Why not. More soonest then, my faerie fae!

ping: Off to the Fairie Festival!

2009-04-30T14:35:00.004-04:00

ok tweeps. car is packed, HOPE i've got all, & make it safely! Off to the Fairie Fest, see u next week! Merry Beltane!

2009-04-29T17:53:00.001-04:00

Reality: i think i now Officially Can't Handle It.

It was an April morning when they told us..

2009-04-19T04:55:00.002-04:00

Ah spring. i am a bad goth, i much prefer spring, everything coming back to life and blooming over autumn. i have a lot of good memories associated with Aprils past; forsythia blossoms feel like Hope, to me. Hope for the future.

my future is far from assured.. there's a lot about it that's downright scary. In many ways i feel i'm picking up where i left off thirty years ago - but i'm thirty years older now, and the future has a limit on it i couldn't see before. i could bring myself down following this train of thought. i've been strongly attracted to the Fool card from the Tarot in recent years (since this newest period of my life commenced) - see a cliff? Jump off - and i have this absurd belief that just as long as i don't look down i won't fall; the clouds will rise up beneath my feet and bear me safely to the other side.

and i'm not dead, yet. Maybe i'll get to where i'm going and maybe i won't.. no, scratch that. i'll get there - it may not be where i THINK it will be, but i'll arrive. And i am on my way.

i'm a witch and a pagan, tho not a 'practicing' one in the sense most people think. i seldom manage to circle w/anyone, rarely do spells, and i certainly don't *look* like [insert neopagan stereotype here]. But i Feel the moon and the seasons in my blood. i Feel energie flows. i Feel spring when it rises, the currents of Possibility opening out before me.

April has been a month of changes in my life - perhaps i mean milestones. The watershed event that propelled me into the life i lead now occurred in April. i've been married (twice) in April - maybe i shouldn't count those, eh? ;-} In April, Lakeview Cemetery is perhaps the most beautiful place in the city. i am overdue to spend some hours wandering there; i used to spend my afternoons strolling the quiet grassy avenues. Many dreams and goals were shaped in that green and stony park - i miss it. Daffodil Hill will be covered in a sea of yellow and the cherry trees and dogwoods seem to uphold the life everlasting those Victorian architects subscribed to. Of course i interpret the concept differently.

It is spring and everything is new and awakening. i have new projects on the horizon and fresh approaches to old ones. i am filled with hope and ideas and perhaps even the energies to carry some out. i have walked a spiral round and round and round again, but each time i tread the 'same' path i am a loop farther on. The path i walk is insistent beneath my feet. It will lead me on whether i will it or no. On previous turns i have resisted and hesitated; no more. My foot is set firmly now and there is no choice but to go forward. Whether it will take me where i hope i cannot know, only that everything is just and right.

Today was a day filled with such promise. The sun shone, the air was warm. i spent a couple hours breaking up Japanese knotweed at the back of a vacant lot, helping prepare the land for gardens to come. The plot is a little distance but near enuf i can ride my bike, & plan to, as it warms. One of the elements of this path is community work and here is a route to that. There is more to be done, always more; but it felt good to be Involved again - not to mention being outdoors, in service to Mother Earth. The Fifth Sacred paradigm will manifest.

This is a vision i've held for a while, and see beginning to take more solid form. Things that have seemed out in the wouldn't-it-be-cool-if sphere are finding a way to manifest. i know that i Know how to make them happen - some? all? But to do so means my energies *must* go there and not be diluted, channelled into mundane realities. Therefore i must trust thee yoniverse to take care of me while i do the work that is laid out before me. We are still negotiating how this might happen - but i've a roof over my head and food (if meager) in the cupboards. i will survive, and with the spring will come a flowering of all that has been sown.

2009-04-16T15:16:00.001-04:00

testing ping.fm as i get ready to put on my wings and fly off to the Fairie Festival!

no sweeping exits

2009-04-08T18:52:00.002-04:00

i am, have always been someone who needs a certain amount of solitude. Even sitting here, alone in an empty apartment, i feel the world encroaching too much; too many demands on my time. Of course i could leave the computer off. There are those i want to connect with; just now more than ever i find i must keep a close watch on the gate.

Which is ironic since i've chosen to live my life as something of a public figure. Or maybe not ironic at all. i swim in a few, overlapping, moderately small ponds. Small enough i appear a medium-size fish (well mermaid actually but we needn't get into that now). A lot of people 'know' me, but its somewhat superficially. Which is all right.. i am an ongoing real-time performance art piece of several decades duration, at this point. But the piece is not performed 24/7; there are times when i must be 'offstage'. Sometimes more than others.

Yes, i suppose i should 'write a book'. Kent State shootings? check. 70s intro to glam/punk? check, and already kinda written to boot. 80s life as underground punkrawk mamacita? BTDT, some of its written, some of *that* i might even share.
90s - um, what was the 90s. Readjustment period? yeah, i donno about that part. i mean i guess i did cool stuff then too, just not as cool as having Henry Rollins stay over & junk. 1st half of 1st decade of 21st century: yeah, we're probably going to edit this part out.

True, those events Shaped me and made me stronger (or is that just older) by virtue of not killing me. They also substantially damaged me in ways i dont know that i'll ever fully recover from. Sure, they're part of being the Fabulous Sascha Peppercorn, but.. well look. This is what goes in the, only some people get shown this back room in my head section, k?

i don't know what i'm trying to say here - which is probably not the best way to approach writing anything, little say a book. i DO need to have people around me who Know, and can be there when the world gets crumbly around the edges. Sometimes i need not to be Sascha, or sade, or freaking Pagoda Panic thankyouverymuch. Sometimes i don't even want to be Mandy Slade but central casting hasn't let me take off the mandy mermaid costume lately.

i think what i'm trying to sort out is, when i need to bow out and become less visible for a time, do i really owe anyone an explanation - ?! No, technically of course i don't. But folks who are used to me being the fairytale village witch who smells of gingerbread and amber don't always Understand.

Yeah. Such a bitch being Me, huh?

best.birthday.EVAR.

2009-03-18T04:24:00.000-04:00

Siriusly. The last time i had this much fun on my berfday? Maybe when Alien Sex Fiend played the Lakefront in 1985?! (or was it 84?) Today was full of cookies topped w/awesomesauce and a big fat WIN on top. And its all cuz i live in a wonderful, beautiful, *supportive* arts community.

First, the day: i can literally count on one hand the number of birthdays i've had when the weather wasn't shite. Its rare enuf to be over 50 out, but to be 70 AND sunny?? This just Does Not Happen in Cleveland in March. But it did today, so i made it my inaugural bike ride of the season. Decided on a whim to put my squeezebox on my back and bike downtown for the parade.. which could have been trouble with a capital 'T', but it actually worked out. And that's despite the fact that as i got to the Detroit-Superior bridge (which spans the river dividing east from west) my bike chain got jammed between gears. So what?

i walked my bike over the bridge and down to the new Phoenix Coffee on W. 9th. They're my Twitter friends, had to check them out, lol. (Sweet little place; might be worth some daytime rides for wi-fi'n'chai this spring). Tried texting my pal who is also my birthday twin.. well, we did text; just never connected. Downtown was pagan revelry.. everybody's Irish in Cleveland on St. Padrec's, but today everyone was *heathen* Irish. No woad that i saw, but wtf. Another pal called it Green Halloween and i think she's right. Imagine the flipside of Halloween; instead of preparing for winter, this is opening up to spring. Costumes EVERYWHERE.. of course most of them were drunk suburban White People, but hey. Everyone was smiling, maybe too drunk but in early afternoon almost all still happy.

i walked east to go south; Superior to E.12th to E.9th to Euclid to E.4th. Stopped on E.4th a while to break out the squeezebox. i could have busked but i'm still too shy at it so just played quietly in open spots - well as quiet as an accordion gets. There was a girl who played a fullsize in front of Erie St. Coffee; she & i jammed a couple tunes. Then a fellow came up who knew her.. i'm looking at him, thinking he looks familiar - and omg its a guy i've known thru open mic scenes first, then the vortex a couple years ago when everything got - strange. He dropped out of sight and i haven't seen or spoken to him since, but there he was, looking good and SO good to see him!

From there i went on to Public Square. Met my best pal, who works in the old Higbee bldg, scene of visiting Santa in the Christmas Story movie. We cut thru Tower City, came out back near W.9th. People asking me to play again, so i did. She had to go back to work and i headed home, thinking i'd have to walk the bike. i was able to coast once past the hump in the bridge, then discovered i could pedal half a cycle forward, backpedal, another half a cycle.. was slow going but i made it home that way. W/the squeezebox in a backpack and my tophat on my head. Once home i set the bicycle upside down out back and banged at it til i got the chain free. i'll need to put new gears on it - anybody know anything about the Ohio City Bike Co-op? i think i need their help!

At home for a minute then.. did some cleaning and got changed out of indie bike clothes. i Luv bike culture.. when i was headed down, i got passed by three vegan bike messenger kidz, one of whom had a trailer attached: in which an older hippie gent was riding, ponytail and fancy hat and all. He waved and smiled and i waved and smiled back. When you're out on a bike, you make personal contact w/others who bike, and its not like passing people walking. Bike people smile and wave and say hey, coz we Recognize other people who are Choosing this way of transport over fossil fuels.

Got myself some Chinese carryout on the way to rehearsal, coz i <3 it and i knew they weren't doing any business (no corned beef, lol). Ate out on the porch at the theater in beautiful weather. Had a decent run-thru of second act of Mineola Twins, and a nice chat w/Clyde, our director/paterfamilias after. One more quick change later - i needed boots, not ballet flats once it was dark - and i was off to open mic.

i'm having my "official" party Friday, but it'll have a hard time topping tonight, coz this was a gather of my heart family, and SO many of them(you?) came out. Shawn, our longtime open mic MC, gave me a painting he'd done, w/special sekrit writing on the back. All sorts of folks bought me drinks, played me songs, danced in a ring etc.. but perhaps the best was Chrissie, Chrissy & Cynthia, who brought a bag full of home-made paper plate masks and tinsel streamers to hand out to the crowd.. AND put together a choreographed routine to Nine Inch Nails (and maybe Sublime? i don't know), which they performed in my honor. *snif*.

This was so so perfect i can't begin to tell you. i don't even know what was best.. watching these girls get up, put on silly sparkly lacy costumes and do a routine they put together AND REHEARSED.. or seeing everyone at open mic sporting masks w/flowers and leaves and tinsel streamers - ?! =:o Fairie Fest peeps&tweeps know the sort of energie i'm talkin'bout. Everyone shedding their winter blahs, out in finery, having fun, spontaneously dressed up. Yes, that was it! It was an authentic Temporary Autonomous Zone, the sort of things that happen in my Dreams. But here, now, in the waking world.

It filtered down as the evening wore on, but my Particular Friend whose band i work with played a solo version of my favorite of their songs (Blue Absynthe)for me, and then wound up with a rousing version of 'Shambones and Monkeyjaws', which he used to play with his old band, Screwtractor. Everyone was stomping or clapping or drumming on the tables along with the rhythm at the end, all of us together. And then! The original open mic MC from years ago played me 'Gary Floyd' by the Butthole Surfers, and to cap the night, our current MC played my favoritest Kimya Dawson song whose name i can't remember without looking it up.. um.. 'Loose Lips', that's it. i know about half the lyrics, so he had me come up and sing it along with him.

*whew*.

i'm sure i've forgotten half of what went on, tho i WAS good and did not get dr00nk (tho i easily could have!) It *stayed* nice out, even more impressive, tho the sky is still clear. i gave one more lovely crafty friend a ride home and came home dancing with rainbows in my head. But they will be on my wall soon enuf, so i stop now.. just want to say THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who came out tonite, because you made this a Fo'Real Milestone Birthday for me. And if you missed it and are in Clevo and are free Fri. night, come on down to Pat's in the Flats and with any luck we'll do it all over again. Only different. i LOVE you my vortex Rainbow family of laughing light, and i don't even care if i sound like an old hippie because i AM! Ha!!! *smooch*

the same deep water as me

2009-03-14T01:21:00.000-04:00

Damn. Do you know how close i came to starting this entry, 'It's happened again' - ?? It's happened again all over again. Only this time "it" isn't some website offending me with its drab-n-creary color scheme. No, this time "it" is far worse. That Question. You know, the one no girl ever wants to be asked.

"Have you ever thought of writing a book?"

Waauugghh. Please, ask me my age - i'm happy to tell you i'm days shy of fifty. And still rockin', dammit, even if i am a bit wheezy at the moment - hurr! Ask me about adventures with much younger men - there aren't any, not because the opportunity isn't there, but because i have not yet fully embraced my inner Maude, thereby allowing me to welcome in any potential Harolds. But write a book? Eek.

Its not that the words don't dribble from my fingers with a rather annoying regularity :::wipes surreptitiously on the tablecloth::: It's not even that i haven't already DONE this. Well - ok, 'Goddess of the Crucifixion' isn't ~my~ book precisely, but i put so damn much work into the thing i can claim about a third of it. And no you've never heard of it because it's languishing in a hard-drive of holding until some future day when i feel i might be ready to try and Do Something With It. (for late arrivals: GotC is my ex-husband's masterwork. It's fantasy, albeit Tolkien as retold by Lovecraft and Anne Roquelaure, in which the main characters undergo several incarnations. Ate the winter of 2002-3. Husband drama ensured i've sat on it ever since). Then there's Digital Aeon, which once in a while will tell itself to me in bits and pieces, but has been doing so for about fifteen years, now, and hasn't deigned to let me know how all the Point A stuff might eventually connect to Point B.

Of course, when the question arises, people don't usually have fiction in mind. They mean Damn, girl, with the life you've lived? Why don't you write a book?! It is just this very minute occurring to me that part of my reluctance might be that to stop and write about it tacitly acknowledges that i'm no longer actively *living* it. Which i still very much am, thanks just the same, so not ready to pen any memoirs just yet.

On another hand - i'm down with Kali, there will be several hands - what would be the point? Sure, i've had Adventures. Plan to keep on havin' 'em for a while yet, if perhaps not at the level i usedta could. But i'm hardly alone in that. i might be a medium-size fish, but this isn't *that* big a pond.. honestly, i've met folks who've done/been/seen more things than me. Sure, none of 'em have quite had my particular viewpoint, but - eh. It just doesn't seem relevant much beyond my social circle, yanno?

But yet again again, perhaps that's what this blog is for. i'm still casting about with this one, i'm sure you couldn't tell ha ha. This isn't my personal journal that i happen to share with several dozen of closest intimate friends many of whom i've not even met out here in meatspace. This isn't a column of reviews; i considered that, but i don't go to a lot of "things" anymore. Not like the late 80s/early 90s when i was seeing/meeting/feeding some great underground band every other week (insert story of Steve Albini and the highchair here - i could, yet its really not all that interesting. Beyond the fact that Steve Albini was over at my house, w00).

i know what it is i Do out in the world.. not just the promobitch networking stuff or the stagecrew-ing or being a crafter or any of that. Actually it IS networking, but on a different level. i am, in part, a synthesist - please see previous blog for references to Stand On Zanzibar. But i don't just abstract patterns from the data i collect; i make connections BASED on that data. Whoa. Hm. Not sure i've ever formulated that into words before.

So it would make sense to me to do that thru the blog somehow, but how? Oh hai Person A in Town 2; meet Person B in Town 5, you're both into X. Would that become, "met Person A for wi-fi'n'chai today, showed them Person B's website, promised to tweet about their project". Hrm? i suppose it could, but that seems so - soulless. Yet nor do i wish to fall into the "based on my past lives as an Atlantean shaman/princess/tamer of sea-unicorns, i realize that my True Path is to help beclouded souls out of their occlusion from the Ascended Way" - even though - o dear, i cannot say it - but i must - even though that one's closer to the truth.

This is why Twitter is my new favorite site TLA4Eva. Because no matter what is flitting thru my branez, i have to fit it into 140 characters or forever hold my peace. This post brought to you by #UNFollowFriday, the letter kratkoye and the numeral pi.

How come some people | They don't like nothing at all?

2009-03-09T00:22:00.000-04:00

Its happened again. A popular, maybe even potentially useful service (in this case Google Reader) has ensured i won't be using it by providing me with an absolutely butt-ugly page interface and no way to change it *sigh*. Not that i'm Teh Expert when it comes to page design, and no snickering behind your hands, now. i'm using the only template i've gotten to WORK on this blog - found others i liked better, but Blogger didn't, and i don't know enuf CSS or whatever templates are in to tweak til it does. i still don't grasp why programs like Dreamweaver think you need to apply font coding separately to each and every paragraph, for instance, instead of once to the entire page which still seems to work just fine. And is why your old granny is writing this entry in TextEdit, not the Blogger editor - well, one reason.

The other being where i started, and that's the plague of horrendous boiler-plate social media sites who think nothing could be more appealing than some sort of greyish-blue header on a blank white page - when in fact the word they want is 'appalling', not appealing. Yech blech poison doglips. One of many reasons i'd drop Facebook like a Bush administration policy decision if all the same people were active on myspace. i hated myspz too, until they got smart enuf to offer custom templates for their user interface pages, not just public profiles. Now you can judge someone's net savvy by whether they've a customized profile, much as you can by whether their Twitter icon looks like this: o_O Facebook's rubberstamp generic profile deprives you of that information.

Yahoo is another site that has allowed color customization for years. Think its a coincidence i've been a loyal yahoo user for years? Their my.yahoo.com page has all sorts of great templates available (tho you have to be logged in and choose one to see it). Yahoo is my start page of choice precisely *because* its in warm, inviting colors, i can pretty much drag things where i want them on the page and (within limits, which are dwindling) decide what the elements on my page will be.

Google Reader, on the other hand, is barren and ugly. i didn't bookmark it. i won't be using it or going back to it. If it has anything to offer me i can't find other places - like, say, right in the sidebar of this blog - their institutionalized interface made certain i wouldn't stick around long enough to find it. Hell, i paid such scant heed i can't even link to it; i have no idea what the URL is and can't be bothered to find out.

Ditto FriendFeed, which at least has the right idea - consolidate all my social media sites into one reader - but fails to implement it in a workable way. Their biggest offense isn't the uglyblues, because not only is their idea good enough to make that almost worth putting up with, but a prototype version exists that isn't ~ideal~ but isn't cookiecutter either. No, the problem with FriendFeed is it only feeds me *other people on FriendFeed* - if i can't see ALL my Twitter streams, Facebook updates, LJ friends list etc., then there's just no point. i'm going to wind up going to the original sites for the complete feed, so why bother with yours for a glimpse of it?

Lest you think i am nothing but a cranky old woodnymph, however, let me tell you about the site that made GoogleReader even more of an eyesore by comparison tonight: Filttr. OK the name is clunky, but whatever. Its WARM and INVITING and FUNCTIONAL too! It went immediately into my bookmarks, and just may replace Twitter itself as the place i keep up with tweets. Twitter probably earned a high place in my estimation by allowing me to customize it from the get-go (currently tinkering with a background there, but any place that allows me to make my own i <3). Filttr, tho, autorefreshes and threads topics - even if i can't have 'my' background, its usefulness combined with a better colorscheme means its a tool i'll be coming back to. (Should you care, i haven't had the chance to try TweetDeck or similar programs - AdobeAir doesn't want to install on my poor old gumdrop, without which they won't work. i've got Chirp as a widget if i need browser-free updates or updating - but i seldom do).

Oh look. A blog, i has it. Perhaps now i can shift my butt and get a shower too. Coz Sid - i don't feel so good today..

It's supposed to be automatic but actually you have to press the button.

2009-03-05T20:20:00.000-05:00

Soo, as often happens, this is not the post i intended to write. i may get back to that one - it'll keep. Well, this one would keep too, but it jumped into my brain last night and almost kept me from sleeping, so to prevent any recurrence of THAT, this one's getting written. In which i shall discuss Web 2.0 Considered as a Helix of Semi-Precious Stones, or perhaps why Twitter is the real-life equivalent of Scanalyzer. (since i won't be referencing the Delaney story again, you might want to read about it over there. The two are closely linked in my head, however).

Depending on your inherent Sci-Fi Geek Quotient, you're either saying Yes, Do Go On, or, WTF wufkitn, you've lost me again. For the latter group: Scanalyzer is a concept employed by John Brunner in one of my favorite SF books, "Stand On Zanzibar". Which i shall be re-reading starting an hour or three ago, its been too long. Brunner refers to SoZ as a 'non-novel', composed using "Spicers Plus Fabric Bond and Commercial Bank interleaved with Serillo carbons in a Smith Corona electric typewriter fitted with a Kolok black-record ribbon." i quote that to give you an idea of the quantum leaps we've made since he wrote it - the book was published in 1968, but is set 42 years (!) in the (then) future.

Scanalyzer is something like a news program (i'm drawing from memory, and haven't read it in a few years), that is customizable to the viewer using a 'homimage' attachment so that Mr. and Mrs. Everywhere ("or Mr. and Miss, or Miss and Miss, or Mister and Mister, take your pick hah hah!") appear on the screen bearing the viewer's own face. "The INdepth, INdependent, INmediate, INterface between you and your world!" Starting to see why i pulled this off the shelf just now?

We may not yet be to the point where you can see yourself and your significant other sitting prominently in the audience at the Oscars, for instance; but are we really that far behind? We've still got almost two years to catch up to Brunner's projected future, anyway. Instead, we can has INstant updates and commentary, which we can participate directly in. 'Way to ruin a song #idol'. Should someone decide my snide remarks are Worthy and re-tweet me, i could potentially make that observation to an eighth of a million people, according to Twitalyzer.. whose name is starting to sound eerily familiar.

Ah social media, how i love to hate thee. Only a few short months ago, your dear old granny wufkitn hadn't even heard the term 'social media'; now i'm immersed in studying and participating in it on a daily basis. And i've made some interesting discoveries here in twenty-oh-nine.

For one, despite the notion of Web 2.0 making us all participants, i'm finding that i spend MUCH less time contributing to 'net life, and much more consuming it. Perhaps i'm simply out of step with the curve on this one, i don't know. Ten-plus years ago, i spent nearly every evening online, answering emails and participating in (on?) e-lists. A year or so before that and newsgroups were my favored activity; a few years later and i became active on LiveJournal, then MySpace. Now its Facebook and Twitter.

i really liked Twitter once i discovered LoudTwitter, as i could make brief notes as the day went along and then have them gathered and posted to my journal. w00, instant blog update! But after a few months, i started seeing friends posts asking if there was a way to block people's Twitter feeds from their friends list, observing it will be a sad day when all that's left of LJ are feeds - one friend mournfully noted that all they see of me now are scraps, like gnawing shreds of meat off a chicken bone. Facebook's status updates aren't much better - true, they allow threaded comments, a semblance of the discussions that used to occur on the old lists. But the nature of the beast means you'll never get the sort of in-depth conversations going that we had back in my day, when we had to connect using a 9600baud modem on dial-up and we LIKED it, by gum!

That sounds horrifically antique, now, though not so much as the idea that when i worked the First College computer lab, our *hot* Mac had a whopping 1mb HD and could run System ~6~. And a version of Photoshop that fit on a single floppy disk. Yes, i am a geezer, why do you ask? Heh. Seriously, tho, things are moving so fast now that i feel like the Twitter i'd gotten to know and love last month is already an outdated concept. Which i didn't really know, because i'm old and slow to grasp such things, until i started reading blogs and websites that told me just how behind i am.

Imagine - four weeks ago, i thought Twitter was for keeping up with my friends and some interesting strangers. How quaint! i had no idea that i was 'supposed' to be re-tweeting, and using #hashtags, and increasing my *influence*. According to one of these websites - i've already lost track of which - the average power-tweeter has something like 550 friends. Your old granny only follows about a quarter of that. And while i've been grumbly about the fact that my cheapie minute phone doesn't participate in SMS services (so no updates when i'm offline), i'm starting to be grateful i CAN'T get Twitter updates sent to my phone. Somehow, i'm 'supposed' to read updates from over 500 people whose posting velocity oustrips my own, check out their links, participate in conversations via @replies and DMs, find more friends, attract more followers and.. um, i forget what else. Cause i'm old. Oh yeah - write a blog.

But since i'm not a "pro-blogger", larding my posts with cleverly 'shopped photo montages of the life i find time to lead in _between_ all these updates, i do at times commit the heresy of getting off the computer. To do horribly old-fashioned things like read books, or meet real people, in real time, in real places. However, i'm starting to wonder if the fabulous world of 'Twenty-TEN come AGAIN!' really *is* where we're headed. Why ever move my arse from this chair, when i can just stream video chat with people around the world, eager to share their observations on the program we're all tuned in to, of course, because that's what good little lemmings do, right? Look, there i am, front row center! Wow! i guess its just like being there.. assuming there IS a there, There.. Why actually bother going out and living life, when you can stay at home and tweet about your virtual one?

#LoveHateDreamsLifeWorkPlayFriendshipSex. Why should i bother to explain myself when you can google it? (Relax, David. Open your eyes.)

knew it was a chance i had to take

2009-03-02T03:40:00.000-05:00

Saturday then. i believe that Saturday day i did what is traditionally known as fuck-all. Friday having been quite the night and all that. i, um, i - oh, i made Mock Chicken Noodle Soup! Can't think now what inspired me but i realized i had everything i needed. This is a vegan variation on chicken noodle that i made up years ago to substitute for the poultry-based while still giving you the basic warm soothing broth when you're sick effect. Its since become one of my favorites.. much like real chicken noodle there's something nicely grounding and homey about it.

Saturday Morticia's Chair was playing at the Beachland Ballroom, for the first time in so long (and ever with this line-up) we were calling it a debut. i often wear my 'pirate'-y vest&blouse-in-one for their shows, but it really doesn't fit properly anymore, not to mention the sleeve parts are a bit worse for wear. Opted instead for an old white poufy-sleeve blouse that ties at the midriff, my black pleather 'biker' vest w/crow bling on the shoulder, striped denim-blue leggings w/an overskirt of black velour yoke and sheer/sparkly black flounce. And the top hat i've been rocking lately, of course. [Belated Warning: i like clothes. i like to play dress-up. i write about playing dress-up. Sometimes i even get off my duff and make clothes. Expect regular reports on my ridiculous streetwear. That is all].

Managed to get myself fed, showered, dressed, primped, and to the practice space by about six. Decided we only needed two cars for four people and gear, so i stowed my craft bag and purple tablecloth in the back of Dax the truck and we were off to the Beachland. Made load-in just as the event was getting underway. This was a benefit for a musician who'd played with various Clevo luminaries like The Choir and The Raspberries, but whose longest-running band (i believe) was The Secret. In their last incarnation, The Secret had the same drummer that Morticia's Chair has now, which is how they got on the bill - most of the rest of the night was classic rock covers, with a LOT of Beatles.

We really weren't sure what to expect in terms of turn-out, but it was much better than we were afraid it would be (ticket prices seemed steep, to us). Definitely an older crowd, and i say that as a half-century dowager - tho granted i seldom get pegged as old as i am. i felt a bit shiney coming out to the merch tables in the front hall.. we've got an almost pro merch set-up now, a case that has all the CDs, promo cards, a light, stickers, etc. The one thing i DIDN'T have, and really should know better by now, is a cash box. Gotta gotta gotta remember to bring mine next time!

i spent most of the rest of the night sitting in that hallway, ho hum. Had a pal working the back bar, so i snuck off to chat with him once or twice, but mostly i sat behind the table or stood and watched the bands thru the ballroom doors. Most of the folks i knew in the building were at the show next door; got to see a few faces when i kipped out front for a smoke. i had thought i'd planned for being stuck up there all night, and brought my craft bag; alas, this is the first craft bag outing in many a moon so i didn't have quite what i needed to really make use of the time.

i'll be vending for the 9th year at Spoutwood Farm's Fairie Festival at the beginning of May, so its really time i started building up my stock again. My main item are those little floral headwreaths you see girls wearing at Renn Faires. The white 'Bride' ones i make sell like crazy, with the black 'Sorceress' coming a close second. Last year i added brown ones w/green leaves & no flowers for the boys and those did all right too. i got a lot of wreath blanks twisted up, but didn't have the right box of flowers with me to do the full wreath. Alas, as i could have made some real progress but twas not to be.

The band sounded good, though, nice and tight, and the audience seemed to like them. The MC gave them a ~really~ nice intro.. i didn't realize they'd been invited to play after she saw them at the private party out in Kirtland we did at the end of last summer (the one where i ran into my ex-s ex-, who still thinks she has to be catty to me fifteen years later - get over it chica, he dumped you, effing deal *thibbit*). We also got to talk to the booking guy there and are looking at putting a show together to tie into the player on the Positively Cleveland page - which you can check out here. Our homegrrls Hot Cha Cha are on there too!

Had another lesson on the new lighting system for the band at the end of the night. i've been a lightboard operator for the Liminis Theater for about four years now, but i've never done any lighting *design*; i just hit the cues. This is a whole order or three of complexity above what i do at the theater. i still only barely know a gobo from a par can, little say what to do with all those swirly spinny any color you like so long as its RGB things at our disposal now. And the big sooper-sekrit Center for Rock Research show coming up in June is going to require a LOT of lighting. Not to mention i intend to have a lot to do with making the event a success - it has the potential to be one of those Man, You Shoulda Been There moments - or a debacle. Aiming for the former, obviously.

Nightcap at Eds and some pleasant and productive conversation out front afterwards. i've got several band projects to follow up on between now and practice tomorrow night, not to mention, you know, *life*. So let's see if i can wrap this without requiring yet a third entry.

Tonight was the Recycled Rainbow Ladies Bellydancing Guild meetup - which actually isn't so formally named, tho perhaps it should be! RR isn't an official regional burn, but it plays one on TV - i.e., if you know what regional burns are, you'll have at least some clue what goes on there. So a handful of women associated with the fest got together at a house out in SW Bumfuck to try out a few moves. Something less than a formal class but more than a dance jam. i miss taking real classes.. i can shimmy and do some basic moves, but i've forgotten SO much. i really ought to get into a regular class again - coz, you know, i've got SO much spare time on my hands. Still, there was some agreement that a Lincoln Park drum circle would be not only desirable but potentially do-able this summer, and that's something i've been trying to get off the ground for a couple years now so its all good.

Aanndd that's the movie, folks. i'm out for now. Not sure if i've anything to report on during the week but i'll be back, you can put your pretty little head at ease on that account..

Rats and Bats and Tastes Like Chicken for Candy

2009-03-02T02:26:00.000-05:00

Well. So much for 'soonest'. Its taken so long (read: i got too busy) that i decided to make this a separate blog, as the first was long enough. In fact i'll probably put up at least two tonight, to break the weekend into semi-manageable chunks. Not how i ~lived~ it of course. But then we can't all be the Fabulous Sascha Peppercorn. In fact, none of you can, because i already am. Heh.

i believe our intrepid heroine was last seen entering Duck Island Friday night. i love the Duck; its grimy and yet artsy, nothing works properly, and some of the crowd really DO lead sordid lives. Plus its not in an obvious location, almost in Tremont but not quite, so that you don't often have to worry about the plague of touristas that regularly infects some place like Edison's.

Friday was the one bartender's last night, so they were having a Sordid Lives party as her going-away. i've only seen the movie once, under rather dubious circumstances involving a drunken pilot and a pan of lasagna (don't ask). Friends of mine, however, are BIG S.L. fans, so i can recite "Why, Dr. Eve, you're not wearing any panties!" with the best of them. And there *was* tuna noodle casserole. Fried chicken. And apple pie. This was a good thing, because while i probably did eat before i'd left for the play, that would've been hours before and i was perhaps just a weeee bit woozy by then.

Ah, i nearly forgot! There were also three girls who came in late and sat side-by-side on one of the couches in front, hoovering up whatever food was left at that point. Gobble gobble gobble. My one friend said they looked like three dogs, their faces in the bowl. i didn't quite see that, but it *was* kind of funny how they were scrunched together, bent over the coffee table stuffing their dear little faces. Not even sure if they knew anyone there. Gotta love the Duck.

The rest of the night was - typical. Tag-team DJs (MC Cornflake, DJ Wednesday, DJ Slade - then also Jack Smiley, whose girlfriend was having a birthday party there, at the same time as the going-away). Clove cigarets. Dancing in the smoky back room. Wednesday played 48 Crash! How can you not love that?? Et cetera. The Duck is rather like a 9-volt battery.. eh, no, let's not make that analogy, shall we? You know its a dive, you know you don't *want* to know what all is in that couch, but you keep going back because..

Which i believe is about how Friday ended. That makes this a short-ish blog post, but then, i can do that sometimes, can't i? Of course i can. Really. Just watch me, watc-

Rats in Tuna-Noodle Casserole Paradise

2009-02-28T17:54:00.000-05:00

Freshly showered, Arthur Brown's Kingdom Come on the record player, a cup of cold coffee at hand. Ready to try and note down last night before it all slips away.. another (too)crazy night in the fabulous life of a wolfkitten. Whose transformation to London party girl is a constant source of amusement to us all.

Mostly because this isn't London and girlhood is a long way behind me. But i intend to be Maude from Harold and when i grow old (sometime after the Mandy Slade phase passes), a doddering, wrinkled old lady with fire-engine red lipstick and false eyelashes - tho in my case, the lipstick will probably be lilac frost and the eyelashes tipped in silver glitter, one of them always, always askew. When i am old, i shall wear purple? Darlings, i've worn purple all along. When i am old - and i'm edging right up on being that *any day now* - i shall wear a top hat, and a fur coat, and dress like a Puerto Rican transvestite hooker. Coz that's just how i roll, bizzotch.

So yes. The last Friday of February. The day was worse than uneventful, but i managed to regain consciousness by late afternoon. i had a vague notion to stop at the Tremont library and pick out another DVD or two before the evening proper got underway, but shilly-shallied around until there was a scant 15 minutes left before the library closed and i was still getting dressed. Oops! In my defense, my steam-heated apartment is usually *very* warm and it can be difficult to wrap my head around the fact that i'll soon be standing outside smoking in below-freezing temperatures so yes, i really DO need that extra pair of socks.

Part of the plans for the night were to attend a Sordid Lives party, to which i had originally threatened to wear my waitress costume one more time. As Twitter followers already know, that didn't happen.. well, it really would have looked ODD the rest of the night. Instead, i chose a tasteful, low-key ensemble consisting of vintage black velvet mini-dress with studded collar and cuffs, wide black belt w/silvertone buckle around my hips, antelope-print velour bell-bottoms tucked in to black Ed Hardy 'tattoo' boots, topped with my shortie black rabbit fur jacket, top hat decked w/green Mardi Gras beads (the purple ones keep falling off) and my usual leopard-print fur gloves from Tarzhet. Yes, i am rather painfully aware that this blog is in desperate need of photos, but i haven't a digicam to my name. Wufkitties is technologicamally impairded.

Soo, once bedecked for the night ahead, i made a quick foray over to my local branch library, as i had a stack of cool Movie Night DVDs due back. Naturally i pulled in just as they were locking the door; hopefully i won't get fined the extra day :-( From there it was back home to an even-quicker bit of nosh - i <3 food that can be prepped with boiling water. TVP how i adore thee. Mmm, i think i need to make another pot of mock chicken noodle soup RIGHT NOW, hang on brb! Heh. Some day i will get around to posting my cookbook on Etsy ans then you can enjoy Mock Chicken Noodle in the privacy of your very own home.

Having re-fueled, i jumped into Severin Bloo, cranked up WCSB and headed to Tremont. Met up with some of the usual crew at Edison's.. i haven't decided yet how i should refer to those who make repeat appearances in my life in this here blog. First names only? Clever aliases? In-joke nicknames? Or maybe i should assign them all numbers, or single initials. i don't know. This is the interactive section of our blog, where you, gentle reader, can click right on down to that little 'comment' link at the bottom and have your say. O Web 2.0, how connected you have made all our lives!

Anyway, i barely had time for one quick cocktail at Eds - a black russian, in honor of it being National Kahlua Day. Mmm, have not had one of those in ~years~. i used to drink them all the time in a previous party girl incarnation, the one where i spent a lot of time inhaling butyl nitrate and dancing to Donna Summer in large, dimly-lit clubs filled with slim and sometimes mustachioed young men who really weren't too interested if i took my shirt off. Those were different times, as Uncle Lou says. But in a blink it was already 7:55, and the curtain for the Theater Ninjas production of "Crave" went up at 8:00. Good thing they are performing at Asterisk Gallery, a mere few doors down from Ed's - !

"Crave" isn't exactly a play, except that its performed by actors, who move about a stage area and recite lines in front of an audience. Some of those lines can be heard in the trailer (i don't know what you see, since the gumdrop refuses to show me). Asterisk has a central staircase in the floor as you enter from the lobby - the building was originally a nickelodeon, i believe - so that the audience was seated to either side of that. The actors would come together in the center, then break apart, sometimes flying into far corners of the gallery. The seating arragement meant that each half of the audience could see into one of the 'backstage wings', while action in the other one was effectively 'offstage'. Apparently, there are no stage directions at all in the play itself, so the choreographed action was all developed specifically for this production, in this space, by this troupe. Not a piece for the 'Tony & Tina's Wedding' crowd, but one i really enjoyed.

One of the actresses, in the role of 'M.', is someone i know and work with at the Liminis. Afterwards, the cast came out to mingle in the lobby, so we had a glass of wine and got to meet everyone. M. (as i shall call her for now) introduced me to the director and assistant director of the Theater Ninjas, and put in a word for me as possible costumer for their next production, "Heddatron". Robotic Ibsen? Oh *hells* yes. i'd already been eyeing audition notices on this one, trying to figure out if/how i might qualify somehow. But as costumer? Teh squee, i be has-ing it naow.

Of course, this one opens two weeks after "The Mineola Twins", which i'm stage-managing at the Liminis, and two weeks *before* the Fairie Festival, which is really the only craft show/event i do any more, and for which i should already be building up stock coz i'll sell almost everything i bring. Fortunately, the big secret "Center for Rock Research" project had to be pushed back to June, or i would ALSO be running lights on a brand-new DMX lighting system i know virtually jack and squat about right on opening night. As it is, it would be heaping my plate up pretty full, but hello? Theater work? If they offer it, you KNOW i'm going to say yes. And then proceed to drive myself backwards getting everything done in the next two months. See above reference to purple.

So. Yes. Since "Crave" is just less than an hour long, we were done and out of there while it was still relatively early - so back to Edison's for a moment to re-group. There, i was reminded that Kid Tested, fronted by a friend of mine, was playing at the Matinee; but i didn't think i wanted to try and squeeze one more thing into an already whirly night. So instead i headed directly to Duck Island, tho my one pal did hit the Matinee first. i hear Megachurch were really good and from his description i'm sorry i missed them. Can't recall if they're a Lottery League band but i'm kind of thinking so (ok i'm wrong). Btw, for anybody who might be wondering, ~why~ would such a fabulous creature as myself live in Cleveland of all places?!, just click that Lottery League link.

Ah darlings, its nearly time i was out the door, so the best(?!)(wildest) part of the evening shall just have to await my return. i don't think i'd better try driving to the Beachland in me undies, tho, so its time to pick out tonight's outfit and hustle my tuchus. Back soonest. Mwaaah.

like a crazy singer in a band that’s lost the words

2009-02-26T19:16:00.000-05:00

Last night, I dreamt of Glocca Morra... again.

No, that's not right. Not right at all. Start over.

Last night, i dreamed i was a gossip columnist, in my Maidenform bra.

i wasn't really wearing a Maidenform bra. At least i don't think so. i don't make a habit of checking my undergarments in Dream. Even the quasi-lucid ones. And it wasn't last night, but the night before last; its just taken me this long to get it noted down.

Erm. Yes. i *did* Dream that, tho, really. And it seemed to make some sense out of Why This Blog. Maybe even why blogs in general. What are blogs but the stories we tell each other? Which might raise the question what are stories.. what's "true" vs. fictional. What is Reality(tm). Besides Silly-Putty, of course. Reality is what we say it is, what we all agree it is.

Which shall take me on a tangent, the principle of Bart Simpson's Cat. Naturally, i can't seem to find a still of Snowball II from Treehouse of Horror II to illustrate this properly, but its the episode where Springfield is held in a grip of terror by Bart, who has near-omnipotent powers. (or do i mean AN episode where - ?) In parody of an old Twilight Zone, anything Bart wishes or demands comes true, and Snowball II is transformed into a stilt-legged, ring-tailed fire-breathing monster clown cat. As cool as THAT sounds, its still not cooler than the big gay zombie dance number in 5000 Fingers of Dr. T, but never mind all that.

The Snowball II Principle, if you will, states that Bart could never really transform Snowball in such a way, because the rest of the world doesn't believe it possible. Unlike the premise of Treehouse II, Bart has no more influence over reality than anyone else. You may decide to spam my inbox shouting THE SKY IS PURPLE!!! over and over for days on end, but it won't change the color i see when i step outside and look up.

Unless, of course, the exactly right number of people all *agree* that the sky is purple. That would probably be a pretty damn large exactly right number, since "everybody knows" the sky is blue. There's another principle that goes hand-in-hand with Snowball II, which is the Deity Bank Account .. in this, the more people who Believe in a certain anything, the larger that certain anything's account is. We literally deposit our belief into it. Very large accounts, like Jesus or Elvis, have a lot of capital at their disposal; so that people can withdraw a large chunk, for expensive purposes - Jesus found me a parking space! Elvis cured my cancer!! - without disrupting the principle. Smaller accounts, like oh, the Flying Spaghetti Monster, can't 'afford' even minor miracles. Snowball II will forever remain a (Springfield)normal cat, because Bart's belief in the ringtailed fire-breather isn't enough to buy out everyone *else*'s belief in a normal widdle puddy tat.

i wonder what any of this has to do with a gossip column?
Maybe it's metaphysical gossip. Kind of like that What's Up on Planet Earth lady, if she were Nini-Pattes-en-l'air, an absinthe-fueled burlesque dancer. Writing a review of the Salon des Rose-Croix as presented at Doubting Thomas Gallery during ArtWalk, edited by Nico to a soundtrack of Jane's Addiction, the Tiger Lillies and the Virgin Prunes, for eventual inclusion in a limited edition fanzine put out by David Tibet and J.K. Huysmans.

Man. i would so totally read that. Especially if i found it stuck under my windshield wiper in the rain.

Srs subjects under a dark fishie moon

2009-02-25T04:02:00.000-05:00

i don't think this will be a Happy Fun post. Sorry about that. i'm sure i'll be back to shiny perky bouncy wufkitndom soon enuf, so if Srs Subjects aren't your cuppa, pls do check back in a few days.

Its funny how things come up, come around, come about. i'm a long-time LiveJournal post-er, and recently got involved in a community thread about the merits of living in Cleveland. i'm very much on the pro- side of our fair yet troubled city - you can read the (now-locked) thread here, if you so desire.

In discussing pros and cons of living in the city, i happened to bring up the West Side Rapist. i've not told too many people this story, for various reasons. Perhaps mostly because there's ways i never felt it was 'that important'. i''m not quite sure why i'm telling it now; perhaps simply to have it said and done with.

In early 1983, i lived on Baltic Ave right at the Clifton/Baltic split. i had only recently left Cleveland Hts and the Coventry neighborhood. i was walking up to the Convenient on Clifton one evening, and noticed this guy apparently jogging. i'm pretty Aware of my surroundings, and in fact had been accosted on the street before, back in Cleveland Hts. So i kept him on my radar, so to speak. After i'd made my purchases and was ready to head home, i noticed him 'jogging' back behind me. Gee, workout suddenly took you in the opposite direction, fella?

i had gotten to within a couple doors from my house when he suddenly came up behind me, grabbed me w/one hand & dropped trou, began masturbating to try & get hard with the other. i knew he had been following me, so he did not have the element of surprise on his side. In reading about his case afterwards, this became one of his hallmarks: he would break in to women's homes, often knowing their roommates or children were sleeping a few doors away. He wasn't able to surprise me, but i was a little more fortunate.

He did not expect me to punch him.

Which threw him off just enuf to give me a break to run like hell and make it home. As i had only recently moved to the area (from Coventry) i didn't realize that i didn't live in Lakewood - i know, duh - so i called Lakewood police first. By the time i sorted out who i actually needed to talk to, i figured he was probably long gone and didn't bother calling Clevo police - after all, nothing ever actually "happened". :\

Fast forward a couple years when he finally got busted. i'm watching the evening news and they have his mugshot plastered all over the place. i take one look and say Holy shit, that's the dude that tried to rape me on Clifton a few years ago =:o In retrospect, i really, really regret not following thru and making a report at the time. i don't know that it would have *stopped* him; he seems to have had enuf of a chip on his shoulder that he was gonna do what he was gonna do. But it certainly makes one wonder.

i'm thinking i'd like to say more in this post about being a woman, safety, being objectified etc. As i mentioned, this was not the first time someone had attempted to grab me on the street, nor, sadly, would it be the last. i've not had any encounters for years (touch wood) but the last time, some late-teens gangbanger tried to grab me over in Collinwood, where i lived at the time. Once again, my temper actually came to my rescue - in that instance, i simply got all Huffy and unleashed a string of ghetto slang on him that again, threw him off long enough for me to make a get-away.

i'm certainly glad that i've been fortunate in each of these instances. i'm glad that i long ago learned that projecting an Attitude can often be an effective defense in and of itself. But it grieves me that even now, in the 21st century, this should continue to be an issue. i'm hesitant to ride my bike down to Tremont if i don't expect to be home until late, because i feel vulnerable out on the street at night on a bike. i'm not ~particularly~ scared; more that i am aware that i AM a single woman, certainly not as young as i used to be, and that i should perhaps not take the chances i would have when i was in my twenties.

This isn't very pithy or insightful or anything. Its awfully late and i really should be asleep. The subject came up, however, and it seemed maybe this is the time to get this story told and out of me. Last night i stayed up far too late with a friend and told some other stories, some that i've never spoken out loud to anyone before. Most of those stories - like why there's a razor-sharp, unscabbarded short sword by my door - are not ones i'm going to tell here or anywhere else. i'm just thinking that under this moon, it might be time for some things to be said.

shadowland

2009-02-22T16:09:00.000-05:00

Well, that was certainly odd in an okay way. Or do i mean okay in an odd way? (yes). Got together with a few friends for movie night last night, something i haven't done in forever. Back in the mysts of time, Friday night used to be movie night at Dark Lodge central (if there wasn't a show. i guess there were nights when there wasn't - ?). i'd usually make pizza. Sometimes we'd tell people to bring their VCRs - told you it was the mysts of time - and we'd daisy-chain 'em, run off copies of what we were showing. This reminded me of those days.

Dee made chili, i made corn muffins (moooffins!) and a Mexican corn salad. There was also guacamole, chips, dips, and tabouleh. Tabouleh on corn chips is like a middle-eastern taco, lol. Frank was messing around downstairs for a bit but once he came up we put on "5,000 Fingers of Dr. T." Which i haven't seen in ~forever~! and had forgotten just how unintentionally camp it is. At least i think it's unintentional. Some of it you have to wonder. And Dr. T is played by the guy who was the voice of Snidely Whiplash, so that totally freaking rocks right there.

We watched "Blood Tea and Red String" after that, which is equally as awesome but in a totally different way. i wouldn't've paired it with that but with the Brothers Quay stuff; "Lost Skeleton of Cadavara" should have been Feature #2 but that was the company decision. Actually Christine Cegavske's stuff is *amazing* - check out her short film "The Dollmaker" here. Then imagine that translated to all stop-motion animation with white mice in waistcoats and red velvet breeches, versus hobbit-like fox-bird creatures; with the two competing for possession of a crucified ragdoll goddess with a kabuki mask face. Oh yes it is that cool.

Everyone pretty much needed to move around or risk dozing off when it was done, tho, as its a very meditative movie. So we gathered our selves together and went down to the Center for Rock Research secret laboratories to check out the new lightshow rig. Well. Oh. My. June 13th locals and near locals.. i'm telling you, clear your calendars now and plan on coming in for this show when it happens. The set alone is cool as freaking magic beans and the light show on top of it? Oh my my, oh hell yes. i think we spent another hour or two down there, taking turns playing with the programming and checking out the effects. Imagine you've got a set for the bridge from the first Star Trek episodes with a post-Pink Floyd-ian light show running on it, and bands playing live against that? i must throw the horns for veritably it shall be su-wee-eet.

Wandering around in the fog and the dimness makes wufkitty's brains go spinny-spinny-spin. Made a little sense out of one concept that's been tugging at me; i still need to do some work in that area but i might at least have figured out an approach. Tried to follow it a little once i got home but Stuph got in the way, as stuph will. i half wanted to put on Party Monster again, because they are so fabulously over the top. Like the bastard love child of Velvet Goldmine and Vegas in Space. Come to my party? Then my head got all a-flutter with how & when we can throw a particular theme party. i say that as if there's a we, and as if i have time and resources to make something like that happen. But ideas, people! i have ideas! That's probably not a wise plan but would be hella fun if i can pull it off. We shall see, we shall see. Interested parties are advised to check this space regularly for further updates. Yiss. Maybe i can get a camp for Recycled Rainbow with that theme, that would be appropriately damaged.

Well then. i suspect my house-elf has been slacking and the dishes are not magically done overnight after all. Not to mention i am in ~desperate~ need of coffee, a shower, and perhaps clothing. Tweet ya later, even if this is more like a Honk.

ghetto-fabulous is to english as..

2009-02-19T12:32:00.000-05:00

Taking a further step into the brave new world of social media. i've been blogging semi-privately for quite some time, but am looking at re-learning my blog habits with an eye to making the time i spend at the computer *gasp* productive. If you've followed the wufkitn that is i around for any length of time, fear not; i'm sure to still lapse into ridiculousness on a regular basis. i just hope to do it for a reason.

As i am new ~here~, perhaps a bit of bio is in order? i'm a Rainbow punk hippie goth gypsie and, like, a Pisces Virgo-rising, Gemini/Cancer moon on the midheaven, ikay? And i pronounce my name "sadie" - i took the spelling after the cartoonist Vaughn Bode in the late 70s, long before anyone heard of that singer. i've been a college DJ on both WCSB(1982-1997) and WRUW (2006-2008), a blacklight performance artist (The Subliminals, 1987-1990), a sideshow performer & professional Tarot reader (Carnival Xaotika, 1996-2003), a bellydancer (YaShara's Rising Stars, 2000-2003), and a gothic-folk musician (Dragonfly Reel, 1998-2003).

Currently, i am an artist, an artist's model, a crafter, a publicist, and a theater person. i stage manage/run tech for the Liminis, a small independent theater company and promote/co-manage Morticia's Chair, pirate rockers, yarrrgghh! i'm a social gadfly and a cultural midwife. i'm friendly with all sorts of people, listen to all sorts of music, hope no one's watching when i dance, hang out in places my ex-sister-in-law considers "bad neighborhoods". i have a lot of fun, i make stuff happen, and i often leave a trail of glitter behind me.

i'm planning to use this blog to drop names and pimp my friend's projects. Fo' real, tho. Know of something Interesting going on in Clevo? Gallery openings, small theater, indie/goth/industrial/psychedelic rock, poetry readings, all-night coffeehouses, vegan potlucks? Word to ya mother. OK that only applies to my grrlinas, the rest of you can address me as MISS Sascha Peppercorn *snick*. Um. So much for maintaining a professional tone. Stick around, i might do better. This one's just to get the party started - a post with Bonus! actual content might even go up today. Ph33r mah l33t engulous sk1llz n00b.

Alright sade. Put down the keyboard and back slowly away from the computer..